I Sent My Children to Another World with Cheat Abilities

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2018

Author

Lumia

• I Sent My Children to Another World with Cheat Abilities
  Sep 30, 2018

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• Friendly_BeeRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  I loved the very quick and short story. Shelter was a great music video, and song in general. I'm glad I found this. A few minor edits might do it good, but I enjoyed it nontheless. Sad that it is only one chapter though.
• MK bk-201Royal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  A very nice short story about a father who has live with the death of his wife and take care of his two kids, knowing the world is coming to an end he will do anything he can to make sure they survive, if he is lucky he might manage to sneak a cheat or two to make their lives easier.
  Would give a 5 stars if not for some grammar errors
• RznRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The concept here is as the title says, but with self-sacrifice as the underlying theme. This is sad and it does not get into anything about OP characters or adventures. This is a very short story about a father's love and that is what makes it unique in the genre. The prose is good, the dialogue is fine, but most of the details and context are hidden. It many ways this seems rushed, but it is still a fun read.
• SamenwerferRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This story felt very much like a rough draft. That being said, it feels like a rough draft to something with a lot of potential. With refinement, I think this could be quite a good piece of storytelling, and even as it stands now, it was an enjoyable read.
  Characters- To me they came off a bit bland. Granted, with the limited space available in a short story, it is hard to really flesh out characters, but in this story it felt like we got to know them only at the very surface level. The nameless coworkers and authority figures refusing, or being unable, to see the reality of a situation that only our main character—the loving father protecting his innocent children—could see, felt rather stereotypical, but this isn’t necessarily a negative in-and-of-itself. In a longer piece with more room to flesh out characters, I think these tropes could work to the advantage of the overall narrative. Like when the little girl called a potato a “french fry plant”, that was cute, and precisely the kind of detail that makes a scene feel more real.
  Grammar- My biggest gripe was the use of a single apostrophe to bracket the main character’s internal monologue. My preference would’ve been to italicize those segments, to better distinguish them from the speech. But, as this is my personal preference, this is not necessarily indicative of a failing on Lumia’s part. In a few instances the tense selection was not quite what I’d’ve opted for, but it didn’t ultimately detract from the reading in too significant a way.
  Story- Abrupt scene changes are a technique that I quite like. However, in this story they felt a bit jarring. I think slightly longer scenes could’ve corrected for this. The story was rather predictable, it was easy to see where it was headed from the start, and without sufficient space to describe a to-be-surmounted obstacle in the narrator’s quest, it really felt like going from point A to point B in a straight line. Again, something that could be fixed rather easily in a m