Ayaru Mistflower

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Ayaru Mistflower is a young witch researcher in the academic witch city, Witchaven. The results of her research could bring their race to new heights but… she is being looked down on and insulted. Can’t they see that her research is to help and not to insult? Her world comes crashing down as her lifelong research gets brutally rejected by the Council. ‘Make a beneficial contribution or face exile!’ Is what they told her. The council didn't stop there. It seemed as if they did anything in their power to make Ayaru’s life a living hell.

Will Ayaru show everyone the true value of her research? It did make her strong enough to defeat a council member in a duel. How does the mysterious death of a council member relate to this? And why is a god attacking their city? And what is the deal with this human city, built in a mountaintop? Is Ayaru able to prove the worth of her research or will these strange events distract her from her goal?

Check out my other storyAgnisotra: Origin Tails

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Chireiden Anisnoxih

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 108
Views: 62,233

Reviews

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Community Reviews(4)

VioletMoonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style: I dinged this one a bit because the sentence structure felt really repetitive, especially at the start. It smoothed out a bit past chapter five, but for awhile the sentences felt overly simple and it was hard to read. I think the author is just finding their groove :)
Grammar: I didn't notice anything here, really. Certainly not enough to detract from the reading experience.
Story: The only reason I dinged this is because the story wasn't immediately apparent. The start of the book didn't quite do it for me, reading like a casual journal entry rather than a first chapter. Things began to get clearer as I kept reading, though. But I would strongly recommend the author consider reworking their first chapter to draw more readers in. Chapter two had more action, and had me laughing out loud that their mage hats were part of their biology!
Character: This was the strongest aspect of the story. I found the MC to be quirky and cute right off the bat. Her sarcastic and critical explanation of other peers made me laugh repeatedly. The writing style naturally lent itself to helping showcase the character's strong personality. Nicely done, here :)
Overall, it could use a bit more oomph early on, but as long as you make it through the beginning it becomes quite the fun story. Mage hats for the win!
BattleSteelTrueRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Style: The style is straightforward and clear. It seems like the author is still working on finding their voice, but just by continuing to write more I think this will continue to develop.
Grammar: Some typos, but I didn’t find them distracting from the story.
Story: There is a lot of info dump right at the beginning that I would have preferred to have seen trickled out more. That said, the story’s premise got me interested from the start, and the worldbuilding and the magic system was very interesting and clearly well thought out. While this is a slower paced story, for me it worked since the story up to this point was more about magic and research rather than being action focused.
Characters: There are times where MC and secondary characters come across as a bit flat and one dimensional. That said, the MC is clearly portrayed in the first chapter, and there is a fair portrayal of her skills, both in combat and a researcher, that gives a good idea of what to expect from her in terms of power. There is also a rivalry between the MC and a secondary that added depth to different aspects of the story.
BrisiRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
For style the author repeats himself a lot and some words loose meaning if used too often.
The author is constantly learning and improving, that much is clear. Thrse issues get better after the first few chapters.
The story, as it is structured a lot like a diary is a large info dump. The first chapters had very little actual story and events and were mostly worldbuilding thrown at the viewer. The author needs to work on their show not tell. Now to the biggest up for the story.
The humour is on point. I caught myself having to laugh, which I dont do very often reading. The jokes are good and its good emtertainment.
Yet while it isnt my cup of tea some people will definitely like it.
I have repeatedly stumbled over hiccups in the writing where words were repeated and the wording wasnt very sound. While I noticed it it didnt throw me out of the story.
One gets a very good impression of the mc and shes nice. That comes with the fact that its written like a diary. This also contributes to the fact that one cant relate to other characters as well as to the protagonist.
All in all not everyone might like it, but it will give lots of reading pleasure to many regardless.
Go give it a try!
NeirylRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
It is readable, but I wish it wasn't in Diary Format, and we could go into the character's head instead of just watching them from sidelines.
Style: Well, manageable, but too much telling, instead of showing. But that is to be expected from the format this story has been written. You can't show how you had your first kiss in your diary. That can only be told, and is a big flaw here.
Story: Barely anything in the first few chapters, and where it is, it is mostly in the form of info dump. The Jokes are good though, when they land. Lacks a hook to draw the reader in.
Grammar: Work on word repetition. The story start with literal Bitch, and I was confused the whole time, between it being a Witch or a Bitch. Author hadn't made it clear. Aside that, it works, functions as expected.
CHARACTER: Now, this is my biggest issue, which could have been easily solved if it wasn't in a diary format. Character just does this and that, and we don't know why for the most part. Their levels, skill, we have no idea, they just use it, and we see the effect.
My biggest Gripe: Too much telling, barely any showing. In reality, opposite should be the case.
Wish it helps, I just want you to improve, because your English is already good. Needs some touches here and there, and it would be one of your best work.