Griffon's Fury!

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

During one usual evening, a boy was born.

As if feeling it, ancient griffon opened his eyes from slumber.

The skies trembled under the visions of the fire and blood.

A beat appeared inside an egg.

It was the prince who will restore the Empire.

The fate drums have rung. The war and change were coming!

Participant of Royal Road writathon

What to expect from the novel:

-Genius and careful MC

-Detailed worldbuilding, serving to introduce the reader to the fantasy world

-Some elements from the eastern cultivation genre

-A steadfast focus on MC's story and his actions in his attempts to get stronger and unlock his memory.

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2021
Author: world_wanderer

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 33
Views: 60,759

Chapters(40 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

Marcus BreezeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is an amazing, well written story. Everything about the world that the author creates is brought to life through vivid imagery and excellent storytelling. If you like classic fantasy novels than this is a must read, follow, and favorite.
Story – This is where the author excels. He has painted a detailed fantasy world with details and depth without falling into block of exposition. The world simply feels real and alive thanks to the writing and characters. The setup created in the beginning chapters really gets you invested in seeing the grand adventure that awaits.
Character – Another great point of the story. All the characters feel alive, with their own motivations, histories, and desires. They are not the two-dimensional tropes that many authors use as shorthand, but feel like real people.
Style – the style of the writing is set in a modern third person that allows you to see more of the other characters besides the hero of the story. While many authors that use this style have problems showing emotional depth in their characters, this author uses excellent ‘show don’t tell’ style of events that still allow you to get emotionally attached the characters.
Grammar – No major mistakes. Nothing that distracts from the story.
Hi_Im_RenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I'm not particularly familiar with the cultivation genre, but I can tell that this story utilizes its elements. From what I've read, they usually feature a long story where the protagonist slowly gains immense power; I can feel the beginning of that in this book. Overall, if the author intends to have Griffon's Fury run for a long time, it has tremendous potential. You don't want to burn too fast for a long-running series, and the childhood arc would feel great in the long run.
Story: So far, it's about a genius kid growing up and growing stronger. It starts very slice of life, which I don't think is terrible, but it does make it hard to judge the story. For now, I'll leave it at four stars because, in a slice of life, the characters are the story.
Grammar: I'm giving this 4.5 stars because nothing stood out to me as wrong; at the very least, it's not distracting to the reader. As with all things, I think it can be improved even more with editing.
Style: I think the style is, for the most part, solid, but I think some areas can be improved. For one, line breaks aren't used and instead replaced with three lines of periods. I think the paragraph size can also be adjusted a bit as others have mentioned they're often short. Another issue is dialogue being broken up at weird places; others have mentioned this as well, so I won't cover this too much.
Characters: I think the characters have a good start, and there's a lot of room for them to grow in the future, so we'll see how they develop. I do wish they had a bit more spice; one thing that threw me off was in c2
"He is still a small child. I won't let him learn martial arts or magic," said Tiona with an iron in her voice.
Then in chapter three, we are struck with
"Remember son, strong rule this world. You either fight or eventually replace this deer when someone stronger comes to you,"
It gave some dissonance with her character, which of course, can be good in some cases, but I'm not sure this is one of them.
That being
WilberforceRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Read up to chp 5.
This story is about a young heir developing his skills from birth to the peak(?). Well, it has a unique feeling with humans who can live a thousand years by unlocking their inner energy. You can expect all the initial fantasy stuff like training and lessons.
Story: it's still too early and Nero hasn't achieved much yet, but there are hints at the main conflict. There are some stories told by Gustav - the mentor - which are good. Somehow I get the feeling they are related to the main plot. There's one about a princess who wants to kill her father and brother. She seduce the most powerful person in the kingdom with the promise of love. Then she used that love as a weapon to destroy the kingdom and ascend the throne. Urgh. I want to see her burn.
Characters: Gustav and Tiona sounds like the caring parents. Nero is young and there isn't much development yet. I still feel like I can relate with him in the first 10k words.
Style: not much to say here. It's straightforward and understandable. There's room for much improvement.
Grammar: missing commas, some a bit difficult to read but nothing serious. It's completely readable but the author can improve on it.
Overall this is a good beginning of a possible revenge story. I will recommend it especially if you like politics in your books.
AcusiontRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Title is just a little joke.
Griffon's Fury! is a fantasy story that features a young boy who is different from the other kids (after all, if he wasn't, we wouldn't really have a story). It's rich in lore and worldbuilding, but it can sometimes stumble over itself in the author's attempt to get the information out there.
Style
Overall, the style of the story just needs some refinement. The author's writing can get redundant and repetitive at times, and it could do with just an extra read through or two before posting just to make sure everything flows well.
Sometimes, the writing is rather dialogue heavy, which begins to turn into more of infodumps than I personally care for. It's not that it's bad writing, just that it can be hard to see the relevance to the story at these times.
Some things are described in detail, while others not so much. For instance, when telling a story, one of the characters goes into great detail about it, but when it comes to the training of the MC, it feels like more of an afterthought.
There are also times where dialogue is broken up as if a new person is speaking, but it's actually the same person. This makes it a little hard to follow sometimes and requires another quick read through to make sure you follow who's speaking when.
People also sigh a lot, so be prepared for lots of sighing.
Story
The story seems interesting, though, at this point, I don't really have a clear view of where it's going to go. It's not a big enough issue to take too many stars off. It definitely has that slice of life feel to it, which is a plus if you enjoy those kinds of stories but not so much if you don't.
Grammar
Definitely the biggest issue with the story, but the author is very receptive to feedback! When I first found it, it was hard to read due to every sentence getting its own line and just a whole jumble of formatting errors. The author took the feedback given to them and made changes to the writing to help everything flow together.
There are still
LotusBrushRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I think the author has crafted a wonderful, if a bit rough, tale. Very few grammar errors, which the author is quick to fix.
The story is very interesting and has plenty of worldbuilding, with enough open plot points to entice me to keep reading.
The author's writing style can be a bit choppy at times, as if English is not their first language, but this does not overly detract from reading. As a first draft, I see a lot of potential. The author has another fiction it seems that have rewritten, so I believe this one will be given the same treatment upon completion.
Up to the point of my review, the characters are somewhat flat, without many defining qualities beyond their relationship to Nero.
Nero, in my opinion, is a bit too unbelievable for his age. I understand reincarnation stories tend to have genius protagonists, but for a child, there are still limitations.
Even if he has the knowledge, I find it hard to believe a five year old is trusted as an apothecary/healer of sorts for the village.
fknmzRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Spoilers, since it's hard to talk about this at length without spoilers.
I'm not without self-awareness: I'm sure that many, upon seeing my reviews, skip the overly long paragraphs and winding sentences, roll their eyes and loudly sigh at the Althussers, Uenos, and Derridas. However, in my defense, I try to tackle every story honestly. That means, despite all of the strange rambling, I am trying to grapple with the story based on what I think it's giving me with the tools I have at my disposal.
Griffon's Fury is a bit of a limit case. I'm not sure if I have any interesting to say about it, not necessarily because it's not interesting, but because I'm not sure if I have it figured out. The story concerns Nero, a boy gifted with prodigal ability and living a comfortable life in quaint rurality. However, after awakening a mysterious black egg, he is thrust into a completely different set of circumstances almost entirely against his will.
Nero, it turns out, is not only a scion of any lineage but THE lineage, a byproduct of an exceedingly capable military father and an equally capable warrior mother, whose destiny is intertwined with visions of revenge and rulership. He is the son of a dynasty, a byzantine political machination where his desire to regain what little control he has over the events of his losses are at odds with the distanced, haughty desires of his brethren, who (accordingly to the unreliable narration of one Gustav), see the transfer of power as simply "the game," of sorts.
Griffon's Fury is painstakingly orthodox in its application of a Campbellian narrative: though Nero is hardly a fresh-faced farmboy, he does carry the trappings of normalcy. He makes good friends, dances small-town jigs, pines and opines on women (of sorts, though they seem to opine him more). He's an everyman. However, in the small moments, away from eyes, he'd also slip away for training. All of these are part and parcel of the Campbellian narrative: the one who finds themselves an
HexenblumeRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
The grammar isn't really very good, there are words that aren't in the correct tense. There were also some words switching up places in paragraphs making it a bit confusing to read. And there were also words that were missing suffixes. Some phrases just didn't really flow well enough that it was bothersome, reading them made it feel awkward, word choice and saying the paragraphs aloud is your best friend in fixing this kind of mistake. I think you can definitely improve on these things with a bit of practice.
The style, well, I like the length of your story and think that it's good enough as is. But like the other reviewers, I kind of have to nitpick at your choice to just explain everything by dialogue, there definitely is better ways to world build than just using plain dialogue, you can set up events and foreshadow some future happenings that is important to the plot to aid in your world building. There's also the choice of using Nero as a catalyst, get him into trouble and explain things that way, be creative! There's a lot of possible ways to fix the dialogue-dependent world building of your story, and I think you're very much capable of that. Also, I don't know if it's just me but the walls of text aren't very good, both for the readers and the whole feel of your story. It's fine to write long paragraphs, but the story was literally just starting in Chapter 2, and there was already a sizable wall of world building, it feels a bit infodump-y and not in a good way.
I don't really have much to say about the characters, I don't dislike them, but they're a bit bland. There's not much uniqueness or character to them that would make me go "Oh! Super unique, love it, love their quirks." and I think making people think or say some sort of variation of that phrase is very important when shaping a character. Else, they'll just be boring and tasteless.
That's really about it, I love the story and the plot, it's just that upping your writing a notch and getting your hands
Vivian M.K.Royal Road
★★★ 3.0
Reviewed at chapter 10:
Overall: We did have to force ourselves to read through it, but this doesn't mean the author should feel bad. It just means they need to keep pushing to improve, which is what they're showing they can do. That's a lot more than what can be said for a lot of people on this site. With that said, we can't score on what could be. We can only score on what is. At a later date if the author improves to a point where they have a solid enough grasp on English, then we'll be happy to come back and give it another look through and change the scores.
Style: This is the weakest aspect. The dialogue is split up even if it's the same person talking, there's a lot of repetitive words in dialogue like 'son,' it jumps around to different times and places with no connection to each other two to three times a chapter, which makes it hard to read through without whiplash, and the general flow from paragraph to paragraph just isn't there sadly. This is the biggest reason it was a tough read as well.
Grammar: NOTE: We are aware that the author is a non-native english speaker. As such, we scored it how well we thought it was from a non-native writer. It's not the best, but we've certainly seen worse.
Story: We absolutely love slice of life, and that's the reason it's scored as high as it is, but for most of the first 10 chapters it was a training montage without the time skips. If you're going to do a training montage, then you either need to speed through it, or make it really interesting. The way you make them interesting is either have deep character moments involved, or have their training serve a purpose other than just getting stronger. This story doesn't have either of them sadly. The plot with his father and kingdom could be good, but it takes so long to get there that we're worried people will drop it before they even get to that part just with how much they need to go through.
Characters: This is your usual 'chosen MC' trope. Other people already touched
ChryissRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
As the title says, this story is largely a slice of life set in a fantasy world that is explained quite literally through dialogue––almost entirely. That is how I would sum up this story. While I can see some readers enjoying this, I'll be upfront and say this kind of story structure and progression is not my cup of tea. But, I can see the writer's keen desire for his craft and willingness to improve. By many respects, this is not a bad story nor written in any terribly cumbersome way, but it's definitely a specific taste. A score of 3 is meant to be average, and I do not go by RR standards where ratings are inflated.
Firstly, Story. The progression in this story is very slow. It takes 14 chapters before any real conflict is introduced. Instead, the story follows the birth to youth progression of a young boy destined to be a hero. I would have little qualms with this premise, except, every chapter is about his training. Every chapter. And it's told largely through dialogue from his elders, mainly his teacher of whom he is a disciple. The world-building itself has some unique points which I appreciate. But, it's done in a telling manner rather than showing. The only showing part is when he discovers the griffon egg. And then after that, the whole history of griffons and the Empire and the royalty is told through dialogue. So, until chapter 14, the only conflict was that of the past and not the present. Thus, the story lacks any pretense of tension. Now, if Nero's character and those around him were particularly delivered in a compelling and meaningful manner, I would be open to reading through his everyday training, but unfortunately, this is not the case.
Character-wise, all of the characters lack any true characterization that is defining or intriguing. Nero shows little to no personality of his own except that which is shaped by his elder's teachings. His very reactions and mannerisms take on an almost automatic air where he is not acting based on thought or feeli
penoveRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I have a couple things to say about this novel, and I've come out of it with mixed opinions. But I think one thing I say is the most mixed is this:
Griffons Fury is a slow book.
That scentence might be small, but I'll say that in four chapters, I learnt what I could have in one or two. Obviously, it's the writers style, and I can't fault them for it. I like slow books, in fact, my book, Semi-Powerful Underling, has multiple chapters intended to be slow, character building, filler.
Slow books are great, and Griffons Fury has the potential to be that.
Although, in it's current state, I cannot recomend it yet. Not to anyone unwilling to support this writer and read the whole thing, which I would have attempted, if this wasn't for a review swap.
The author asked me to be critical, so critical I will be, so let me help you, the (perhaps potential) reader, and world_wanderer, the author, understand why I find this to be not to my tastes, and why it's the bad kind of slow.
Style: My favorite part first, the style of the book wasn't anything to write home about, but I did like the pacing of the scenes quite a lot, more than I can state here in a review. I won't go indepth with everything, but the author has a very good sense of flow and how people go through actions. While there has been literally no combat besides training (at chapter 4), I feel it will have good pacing as well.
Only issue here is the multiple spacing mistakes, and the way the writer puts periods like this:
...
..
.
Every time they make a transition. Pisses me off sooooo much on a personal level.
Grammar: My biggest issue beyond the slowness (which I'll get to), is the grammar. Now, some may say it's unfair to fault them, and I am unsure English is the writer's first language, but I believe that is the tell that the grammar is bad. I am reading an English book, and (for a lack of better words and at risk of sounding entitled) I expect perfect English. I understand this is Royal Road though, and it can't be