Griffon's Fury!

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

During one usual evening, a boy was born.

As if feeling it, ancient griffon opened his eyes from slumber.

The skies trembled under the visions of the fire and blood.

A beat appeared inside an egg.

It was the prince who will restore the Empire.

The fate drums have rung. The war and change were coming!

Participant of Royal Road writathon

What to expect from the novel:

-Genius and careful MC

-Detailed worldbuilding, serving to introduce the reader to the fantasy world

-Some elements from the eastern cultivation genre

-A steadfast focus on MC's story and his actions in his attempts to get stronger and unlock his memory.

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2021
Author: world_wanderer

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 33
Views: 60,940

Chapters(40 total)

What readers say about Griffon's Fury!

“This is an amazing, well written story. Everything about the world that the author creates is brought to life through vivid imagery and excellent storytelling. If you like classic fantasy novels than this is a must read, follow, and favorite. Story – This…”
Marcus BreezeRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“I'm not particularly familiar with the cultivation genre, but I can tell that this story utilizes its elements. From what I've read, they usually feature a long story where the protagonist slowly gains immense power; I can feel the beginning of that in this…”
Hi_Im_RenRoyal Road4.5 / 5

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

Marcus BreezeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is an amazing, well written story. Everything about the world that the author creates is brought to life through vivid imagery and excellent storytelling. If you like classic fantasy novels than this is a must read, follow, and favorite.
Story – This is where the author excels. He has painted a detailed fantasy world with details and depth without falling into block of exposition. The world simply feels real and alive thanks to the writing and characters. The setup created in the beginning chapters really gets you invested in seeing the grand adventure that awaits.
Character – Another great point of the story. All the characters feel alive, with their own motivations, histories, and desires. They are not the two-dimensional tropes that many authors use as shorthand, but feel like real people.
Style – the style of the writing is set in a modern third person that allows you to see more of the other characters besides the hero of the story. While many authors that use this style have problems showing emotional depth in their characters, this author uses excellent ‘show don’t tell’ style of events that still allow you to get emotionally attached the characters.
Grammar – No major mistakes. Nothing that distracts from the story.
Hi_Im_RenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I'm not particularly familiar with the cultivation genre, but I can tell that this story utilizes its elements. From what I've read, they usually feature a long story where the protagonist slowly gains immense power; I can feel the beginning of that in this book. Overall, if the author intends to have Griffon's Fury run for a long time, it has tremendous potential. You don't want to burn too fast for a long-running series, and the childhood arc would feel great in the long run.
Story: So far, it's about a genius kid growing up and growing stronger. It starts very slice of life, which I don't think is terrible, but it does make it hard to judge the story. For now, I'll leave it at four stars because, in a slice of life, the characters are the story.
Grammar: I'm giving this 4.5 stars because nothing stood out to me as wrong; at the very least, it's not distracting to the reader. As with all things, I think it can be improved even more with editing.
Style: I think the style is, for the most part, solid, but I think some areas can be improved. For one, line breaks aren't used and instead replaced with three lines of periods. I think the paragraph size can also be adjusted a bit as others have mentioned they're often short. Another issue is dialogue being broken up at weird places; others have mentioned this as well, so I won't cover this too much.
Characters: I think the characters have a good start, and there's a lot of room for them to grow in the future, so we'll see how they develop. I do wish they had a bit more spice; one thing that threw me off was in c2
"He is still a small child. I won't let him learn martial arts or magic," said Tiona with an iron in her voice.
Then in chapter three, we are struck with
"Remember son, strong rule this world. You either fight or eventually replace this deer when someone stronger comes to you,"
It gave some dissonance with her character, which of course, can be good in some cases, but I'm not sure this is one of them.
That being
WilberforceRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Read up to chp 5.
This story is about a young heir developing his skills from birth to the peak(?). Well, it has a unique feeling with humans who can live a thousand years by unlocking their inner energy. You can expect all the initial fantasy stuff like training and lessons.
Story: it's still too early and Nero hasn't achieved much yet, but there are hints at the main conflict. There are some stories told by Gustav - the mentor - which are good. Somehow I get the feeling they are related to the main plot. There's one about a princess who wants to kill her father and brother. She seduce the most powerful person in the kingdom with the promise of love. Then she used that love as a weapon to destroy the kingdom and ascend the throne. Urgh. I want to see her burn.
Characters: Gustav and Tiona sounds like the caring parents. Nero is young and there isn't much development yet. I still feel like I can relate with him in the first 10k words.
Style: not much to say here. It's straightforward and understandable. There's room for much improvement.
Grammar: missing commas, some a bit difficult to read but nothing serious. It's completely readable but the author can improve on it.
Overall this is a good beginning of a possible revenge story. I will recommend it especially if you like politics in your books.
LotusBrushRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I think the author has crafted a wonderful, if a bit rough, tale. Very few grammar errors, which the author is quick to fix.
The story is very interesting and has plenty of worldbuilding, with enough open plot points to entice me to keep reading.
The author's writing style can be a bit choppy at times, as if English is not their first language, but this does not overly detract from reading. As a first draft, I see a lot of potential. The author has another fiction it seems that have rewritten, so I believe this one will be given the same treatment upon completion.
Up to the point of my review, the characters are somewhat flat, without many defining qualities beyond their relationship to Nero.
Nero, in my opinion, is a bit too unbelievable for his age. I understand reincarnation stories tend to have genius protagonists, but for a child, there are still limitations.
Even if he has the knowledge, I find it hard to believe a five year old is trusted as an apothecary/healer of sorts for the village.
AcusiontRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Title is just a little joke.
Griffon's Fury! is a fantasy story that features a young boy who is different from the other kids (after all, if he wasn't, we wouldn't really have a story). It's rich in lore and worldbuilding, but it can sometimes stumble over itself in the author's attempt to get the information out there.
Style
Overall, the style of the story just needs some refinement. The author's writing can get redundant and repetitive at times, and it could do with just an extra read through or two before posting just to make sure everything flows well.
Sometimes, the writing is rather dialogue heavy, which begins to turn into more of infodumps than I personally care for. It's not that it's bad writing, just that it can be hard to see the relevance to the story at these times.
Some things are described in detail, while others not so much. For instance, when telling a story, one of the characters goes into great detail about it, but when it comes to the training of the MC, it feels like more of an afterthought.
There are also times where dialogue is broken up as if a new person is speaking, but it's actually the same person. This makes it a little hard to follow sometimes and requires another quick read through to make sure you follow who's speaking when.
People also sigh a lot, so be prepared for lots of sighing.
Story
The story seems interesting, though, at this point, I don't really have a clear view of where it's going to go. It's not a big enough issue to take too many stars off. It definitely has that slice of life feel to it, which is a plus if you enjoy those kinds of stories but not so much if you don't.
Grammar
Definitely the biggest issue with the story, but the author is very receptive to feedback! When I first found it, it was hard to read due to every sentence getting its own line and just a whole jumble of formatting errors. The author took the feedback given to them and made changes to the writing to help everything flow together.
There are still
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Long title but it sums up my most prolific thought about this fiction. One thing the author needs to work on extensively is the formatting of the story. It was very annoying to get through and I really needed to mention that. Word-choice might also need some changes to make it use a few more common words. While variety in words is great, making them obscure for the sake of being obscure kinda ruins the point.
That's all I could remember. 4/5 from me.
JonsoonRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
This story has a lot of potential and I would love to keep reading once it's cleaned up a bit!
Style: Despite it not being very detailed, I was still able to create a clear image in my head as to what was going on. The way dialogue is written was readable, but would be less confusing if you used a more traditional style, imo. A lot of webnovels, even popular ones, tend to write dialogue really weirdly so maybe it's just me, but It felt quite weird to me. The following are just some pointers in that regard:
If you want to seperate a piece of dialogue into two paragraps you do the following.
"AAAA.
"BBBBBBB".
Whereas you did:
"AAAAAA."
"BBBBBBB"
What you did would indicate that the person who said "AAAAA" is different from who said "BBBBBB".
There are also times when paragraphs are way too long. Try to stick to approximately 3 to 5 lines per paragraph (none-dialogue paragraphs). You can drop to 1 line or 1 sentence if you want to punctuate or emphasize a specific thing.
Grammar: Quite a few clunky sentences, typos, etc. Most of the mistakes can be fixed by chucking it into grammarly or prowritingaid so I'd reccomend checking that out.
Story: The story has potential, because like I'll say later, the characters are pretty good. The problem mainly comes down to your approach to info-dumps.
In my opinion, there are two ways you can approach info-dumping. One is to do it quickly. The other is to do it in an interesting or evocative way. I don't think you did either.
I'd reccomend to check out The Matrix Movie, Inception movie, Death Note anime, and the Mistborn books. I think they do a great job of sometimes getting the exposition out of the way in a really quick manners, and some times spending a lot of time delivering exposition but doing so in an interesing way.
I think one thing I've noticed they all do is utilize mystery. They make you confused and make the audience desire information before they give it to you. Neo and the audience has absolutely no idea what's goin
fknmzRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Spoilers, since it's hard to talk about this at length without spoilers.
I'm not without self-awareness: I'm sure that many, upon seeing my reviews, skip the overly long paragraphs and winding sentences, roll their eyes and loudly sigh at the Althussers, Uenos, and Derridas. However, in my defense, I try to tackle every story honestly. That means, despite all of the strange rambling, I am trying to grapple with the story based on what I think it's giving me with the tools I have at my disposal.
Griffon's Fury is a bit of a limit case. I'm not sure if I have any interesting to say about it, not necessarily because it's not interesting, but because I'm not sure if I have it figured out. The story concerns Nero, a boy gifted with prodigal ability and living a comfortable life in quaint rurality. However, after awakening a mysterious black egg, he is thrust into a completely different set of circumstances almost entirely against his will.
Nero, it turns out, is not only a scion of any lineage but THE lineage, a byproduct of an exceedingly capable military father and an equally capable warrior mother, whose destiny is intertwined with visions of revenge and rulership. He is the son of a dynasty, a byzantine political machination where his desire to regain what little control he has over the events of his losses are at odds with the distanced, haughty desires of his brethren, who (accordingly to the unreliable narration of one Gustav), see the transfer of power as simply "the game," of sorts.
Griffon's Fury is painstakingly orthodox in its application of a Campbellian narrative: though Nero is hardly a fresh-faced farmboy, he does carry the trappings of normalcy. He makes good friends, dances small-town jigs, pines and opines on women (of sorts, though they seem to opine him more). He's an everyman. However, in the small moments, away from eyes, he'd also slip away for training. All of these are part and parcel of the Campbellian narrative: the one who finds themselves an
Timothy BarilRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
The best thing about the story so far is the work the author does to bring characters to life. People are likeable and have a positive feel. This will likely become the heart of the writing.
Currently, the writing still feels fairly inexperienced, with room to grow. There are some errors in grammar. The flow of the prose itself could improve. But writing is a craft and all of us are trying to get better. Revisions will help.
The structure and style of the story itself are classic. A boy growing up. It's quite traditional. In that sense it will feel familiar, which can be a great thing. But hopefully the author also brings something original to the book later on.
HexenblumeRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
The grammar isn't really very good, there are words that aren't in the correct tense. There were also some words switching up places in paragraphs making it a bit confusing to read. And there were also words that were missing suffixes. Some phrases just didn't really flow well enough that it was bothersome, reading them made it feel awkward, word choice and saying the paragraphs aloud is your best friend in fixing this kind of mistake. I think you can definitely improve on these things with a bit of practice.
The style, well, I like the length of your story and think that it's good enough as is. But like the other reviewers, I kind of have to nitpick at your choice to just explain everything by dialogue, there definitely is better ways to world build than just using plain dialogue, you can set up events and foreshadow some future happenings that is important to the plot to aid in your world building. There's also the choice of using Nero as a catalyst, get him into trouble and explain things that way, be creative! There's a lot of possible ways to fix the dialogue-dependent world building of your story, and I think you're very much capable of that. Also, I don't know if it's just me but the walls of text aren't very good, both for the readers and the whole feel of your story. It's fine to write long paragraphs, but the story was literally just starting in Chapter 2, and there was already a sizable wall of world building, it feels a bit infodump-y and not in a good way.
I don't really have much to say about the characters, I don't dislike them, but they're a bit bland. There's not much uniqueness or character to them that would make me go "Oh! Super unique, love it, love their quirks." and I think making people think or say some sort of variation of that phrase is very important when shaping a character. Else, they'll just be boring and tasteless.
That's really about it, I love the story and the plot, it's just that upping your writing a notch and getting your hands