Gnarlroot the Eld

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Skeletal Minions aren't supposed to be sentient, but when a Spirit Mage called Azwold bends game rules to complete step 4/11 of his epic questline, he summons the only talking player pet in the game. Join the Eld, his player 'master', and a cast of unforgettable party members as they explore Realms of Lore and work their way through "Gnarlroot the Eld's Stolen Bones" questline.Can they thwart a mounting, game-breaking threat from the cult-like Telemoon guild? Will they discover how the Eld ended up stuck in the role of a video game player's skeletal minion? Or will the Eld remain trapped, forever hungering for answers?***A revised version of this earlier manuscript is undergoing its final edit (reallyforrealsfinaledit.scriv) and should be available this fall/winter 2024. Moreover, book 2 outlining/drafting has begun. Yes!***Thanks for reading!***Cover art by the lovely and talentedOona Machina***

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2022
Author: RaccoonMage

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.7/ 5.0
Followers: 100
Views: 41,854

Chapters(57 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(8)

GyodedRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Bones aplently in this story. I like it.
Style: The style is very good, sophisticated descriptions leading to enjoyable dialogue. You've written the perspective of an ancient spirit very well, letting the reader immerse themselves fully into the story. I found the change to 3rd person perspective for Azwold's character to be natural and enjoyable. I usually don't find switches like that pleasant, but you've done it well. There were some sentences that seemed to end a little awkwardly, making the paragraph a little disjointed. Also, some words seemed a little too flowery, making a passage just a little confusing. This could just be my smoll brain talking, tho.
Story: I think the story is very unique, even if the genre of a video game litrpg is not. The intro to the world via a quest was well done. The expansive storyline to find Gnarlroot's bones is well thought out and promises more great things, and the addition of gaining lost memories lets the world unfold in an enrapturing way.
Grammar: Like I mentioned, some sentences did seem disjointed, but overall it was good.
Character: The characters of this story are the highlight, I think. Even in the first chapter, you could tell that the other ghosts personalities were well thought out, and it made them seem alive (pun intended). Gnarlroot himself is delightful, his understanding of the world and his views letting you connect to his character. "Keep your secrets, mortal."
Overall, a fresh and unique journey, and I look forward to accompanying Mr. Eld on his quest to recover his bones.
JMMatheisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Gnarlroot the Eld’s opening chapters are an indulgence of rich, eldritch descriptions and a macabre disembodied consciousness that create an eerie introduction into this LitRPG tale. Told from within a game we take a 1st person ride along with the undead.
Story + Character:
The story and the character work together, hand-in-skeletal hand. This story is not about some overpowered hero, or the steady growth of a soon to be hero. No, this story is taking a different approach by following one who could be strongly considered to be almost as far from a hero as one could get. The opening chapters do not shy away from pointing out the protagonist’s untoward hobbies and pastime as he lay entwined in the roots of a tree.
But once freed from his trappings, the tale takes very interesting route that does not hide from in-game mechanics and other game-breaking elements. It also follows a quest to reunite parts of a whole, namely himself and deals with his newfound ‘life’ and the some truly comedic moments as he struggles with the mismatch of distant past and present.
Style:
The overall style that the author is employing is first person/undead and description heavy, where words laid thick on the page are almost poetic in their dancing shimmer. These are vivid and a macabre all at the same time. Use of LitRPG and GameLit elements are integrated smoothly and do not draw attention away from the flow of the story as a whole.
Grammar:
Grammar and punctuation is well done, with very few issues that could be considered auto-correct misfires. None of these detract from the overall reading experience and feel.
Overall, Gnarlroot the Eld is an interesting and great take on LitRPG and Gamelit. Vivid, almost poetic description breaks away to deftly handled and driven humorous dialogue and in-game developer references. If you are interested in experiencing a unique tale from the view of the undead with plenty going for it, don’t miss this one and try it out!
MethuselahRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: With a heavy reliance on diverse and descriptive language, I found the winding essence of your sentences and paragraphs to be particularly gripping. It was just enough on that fine point between risking losing someone and being too easy, which makes for a more enjoyable reading experience. Furthermore, each chapter feels like a complete picture. Independently, they recount sections that, in and of themselves, are though provoking and leave lingering thoughts about how the story overall might be structured.
Story: Enthralling, to say the least, in the sense that I rapidly found the pages turning upon getting beyond chapter one, which served to pull me into your work. Is the MC a rogue NPC with a vast and growing computer intelligence? Is the MC a rogue player who has forgotten that they're playing? These sorts of questions arose and stuck around, being added to as I read more and had new thoughts and opinions come of them. Any time I find myself not only wanting to read more, but questioning things in a productive and imaginative way, I feel intuitively that what I'm reading is valuable. Personally, I think that I would prefer it if this story was free from its being tied down to its being a video game, but this doesn't damage the story inasmuch as I think that if it were otherwise, it would be improved. Again, this is merely personal preference and does not speak to an actual problem.
Grammar: My knowledge of English grammar standards is basic, which disallows finite criticisms. That being said, I didn't see any striking issues with punctuation, spelling, or grammar. One small personal issue I had, which isn't impacting the star-score, was with your decision to type out numerically "1/3" instead of "one third". This is merely preferential, but enough of an annoyance to be worth mentioning.
Character: The main character is a compelling enigma whose history is welcomingly obsecure, even to themselves, and whose reactions, opinions, and display of emotions manag
D.M. Rhodes (Razzmatazz)Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Gnarlroot the Eld is a litrpg gamelit-fantasy adventure story about ‘Eld’, an undead spirit-entity bound to a tree that a mage, Azwold, who was trying to cheat the rules of the game managed to tame as his player pet.
The first thing I noticed while reading the story is that the writing has a very strong prose/flow. There are several segments that sync up well, almost rhyming that gives the first chapter especially a very interesting cadence. I was unable to decipher if this was on purpose or if it was just happenstance, but it reads very well and gives a strong feeling of the mind of ‘the Eld’, our primary protagonist.
The characters, primarily Eld and the caster, Azwold, so far are both interesting and its fun watching them try to cat and mouse each other the entire time. Eld wants to be free of Azwold’s shackles and Azwold meanwhile wants to use Eld to complete a rare and buggy questline. It forms an interesting dynamic between the two of them.
The writing is strong as mentioned. Otherwise, I found no noticeable spelling or grammar mistakes. The story, being a litrpg, uses a lot of stats and I would have liked more ‘blue boxes’ instead of just text, but that’s as always, a minor detail.
All in all, it’s a fun story with an interesting setting. The characters and their interactions are definitely the strongest part of the story, though I personally like the ‘Eld’ chapters more than the Azwold ones. He’s just a fun guy, what can I say?
If you’re looking for a fresh litrpg or gamelit story, if you like undead and odd protagonists, then please give this one a fair shot! =)
Raz ScrivensRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style (4/5): I liked the style overall, with some critiques. At times the descriptions are elegant and delightful, but the work devolves into purple prose occasionally. (I’m guilty of it as well—I think it’s easier for someone else to point it out than it is for one to recognize it in their own work.) The dialogue tags are trying a little too hard to be unique at times. Not to impose my own style on anyone else, but I try to mix up using words like “squealed” and “corrected” when they’re appropriate, but then also sprinkle in the typical “said” throughout. I think the story does a much better job with dialogue as it goes on. An example of a line I really enjoyed: “There was glass, and metal, and banded wooden tables, dark varnish hidden below a dusty sheen.” An example of one I found questionable: “A squeal boiled out of me.” Lines like that can make the reader stumble. Again, just minor criticisms; overall enjoyable.
Story (4/5): The premise is unique enough that you have to find some charm in it. I know it's not unheard of to tell a LitRPG from a non-hero's POV, but this one does it well. You made me root for a skeleton (pun intended!) My biggest problem is that it does get bogged down in exposition and details at times when I just want to get to the next event that moves the plot along. Overall though, it's fun and refreshing!
Grammar (4.5/5): There were a few mismatched words in parts ("jest" instead of "gist" is one that comes to mind) but other than that, the grammar was fine. I should have left more comments when I noticed them here and there.
Character (4/5): I do like Mr. Eld. He has a maniacal, calcium-rich charm about him. The other character(s?) I have not really connected with yet. They seemed more there to advance the plot than for me to care as much about them. I'm sure they're probably explored in greater detail later in the story. Or will they, based on the trajectory of Eld? Maybe not. Maybe he is destined for eeeviiil...
It's 1:00AM where I am, so
ArmorienRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style: It's evident that the prose of the author is quite well developed and that they obviously know what they are doing. Often coming off as poetic and fantastical, it is a style that knows what it is doing and excels at it. As LitRPG's often forego actual writing in place of random boxes of blue or endless numbers of stats, I'm glad to see that the author took a different approach.
Story: My critique largely lies with the story itself, but also isn't really a part of the story. If there was some middle ground between story and style then I would put my critique there, but there isn't so I'll put it here instead. In my opinion, there needs to be far more detail or the inclusion of fewer elements in the story. There are so many mentions of different items or whatnot and yet the reader is never presented with a chance to really understand the implication of it. Yes, the character may get [Insert Item] but what does it mean? What is its history of it, is it just a tool, a keepsake, or is it just another name used to fulfil the narrative need for something to mention?
For example, there was a scene where Azwold explained the concept of roleplaying, except he didn't actually do it through dialogue and it's instead just mentioned. Instead of having that, having the two carefully talk with each other and exchange banter would lend itself to more of an exploration of the two's dynamic and different situations in my opinion.
Grammar: Pretty much perfect, saw no mistakes.
Character: I will be honest, so far from what I have read. Eld is the only interesting character, admittedly he does quite a fine job at fulfilling that role of being the interesting character, but Azwold who is supposed to be the other main one doesn't create much of an impression. I understand that he's meant to represent the player so to speak, but maybe adding more description of his reactions could help cement him as a more interesting character.
As a disclaimer, the problems I often see in LitRPGs ar
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Look at title to see what I mean in this review. Choices of words. Word-Choice. It's when a lot of different words can work in a sentence but some can work slightly less due to other words in that same sentences. When it comes to web-novels, the den of total skim-readers, one has to think about making it clear where the words fall. If two words are by each other and look similar, the brains we all hate will think them as one. This can make it very confusing for a casual reader. While it didn't happen too many times in my initial read of this story, I am worried about the pattern seen.
Grammar and personalities were fine, of course. I ain't got no complaints about those. It's just the style that needs a bit of work. 4.5/5
AngaramwritesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style: The prose is beautiful and fits the POV of a gnarly skeleton quite well. But sometimes I feel like it drifted into a bit much flowery purple prose. The scenery and world is painted very clearly though and the mood fits.
Grammar: I doubt I could find any errors in prose this well crafted.
Story: "Old skeleton looking for bone," might be the description a chat message would give. Following the old skeleton on his quest to find his bones and lost memories promises to be quite fun.
Characters: I really enjoyed the MC thus far and I don't think that will change much later on. He seems a bit delightfully confused by some things Az does and game mechanics, but who wouldn't. The personalities can be differentiated rather well and make sense.
Final thoughts: I like this story quite a lot, although I am not usually a fan of litrpg, weird on RR, I know. Interested to see where it will go so it is going on my ever growing pile of things I need to read more off. If you think any of the bone puns in all these reviews and the premise sounds good, you should really give it a try.