Anything But Squished [Book Two Complete!]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Book 1 is available on Kindle Unlimited

https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0DTKQTGZM

Or Audible:

Audible USAudible UK

Blurb

Between death still existing in the afterlife, running through death games that resembled a few videogames I had played in my past, and just trying to survive, just trying not to get squished . . .Sigh.And between the death of my wife a few years back, not knowing if my daughter was alive or not, and meeting a new friend who mysteriously received all my memories—even my weird-ass dreams that I don’t want anyone to know about—and then having her expose those buried memories to everyone . . .Sigh.Between all those things, you know what sucks more?

Oh shit, I haven’t even told you about Greg yet. Stupid Greg.

Anyway, you know what sucks even more than Greg? Let me tell you, but you probably already know. You can probably feel it.

It’s that feeling of being afraid of what’s next. To notknowwhat’s next. The unknown.

That’s why I’m writing this. To lift the veil and to tell you the truth. Earth has been hushslapped—my daughters taught me that one. It’s like joining a voice call only to get muted and deafened at the same time. No communication in, no communication out—only instead of you on a pointless-in-the-first-place voice call, it happened to all of Earth . . . Ourentireuniverse.

Except the Omniverse—our hushslappers—didn’t take into accountthis guy. So buckle up cowboy—uhh, or girl. Crap, I’m gonna get canceled.

Greg, stop the recording. Let’s try again.

What to expect in general:- WARNING: RR is my playground. Therewillbe glaring mistakes. There will be edits, both large and small. Things will change after you read them. I'll try my best not to change the meaning, but it can and probably will happen.- WARNING: I write most weeks, but my posting schedule will be sporadic, especially between books.- Stupid banter between MC and company.- A MC who is kind of dumb sometimes, because he just is.- A MC who cares about doing what is right.- A MC who wants to understand why we exist. Why this all even matters.- A MC who doesn't forget his past.- Mechanics that are logically thought out, with a system that is logically thought out, but not super exposed right out of the gate.- Each book/volume should hit around 125k-250k words.- Other dumb stuff.

What to expect in B1- This first book is a combination of WoW, Apex Legends/PUBG, and maybe a hint of Lethal Company(near the end).- 10-15k words (36-54 pages) of well edited content posted every two weeks.- Chapters that are 2000-5500 words in length- Battle Royale at the end.

What to expect in B2- Full on Lethal Company vibes turned PVP and other fun twists.- Chapters that are 1500-3000 words in length- General mayhem- Twitch content

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2024
Author: isaiahirons

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 372
Views: 12,969

What readers say about Anything But Squished [Book Two Complete!]

“The story is a remarkable blend of immersive world-building, compelling character dynamics, and sharp, humorous dialogue. It captures the feel of an MMORPG-turned-battle-royale with surprising realism. The pace balances action, character development, and wo…”
AngelNersusRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Here we join Sam, aka AnythingButSquished, as he is killed and joins the afterlife. But, even in death, he can't escape corporate bureaucracy, and in this afterlife he is forced into a demented game run by a power that is testing the newly-dead for what lo…”
Celt ComstockRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

AngelNersusRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story is a remarkable blend of immersive world-building, compelling character dynamics, and sharp, humorous dialogue. It captures the feel of an MMORPG-turned-battle-royale with surprising realism. The pace balances action, character development, and world-building well.
In the fiction, Sam Parr dies in a supermarket by an idiot who points a gun at him and shoots while claiming it’s not loaded. Life was a tutorial, and he is offered two options: restart or continue. Under pressure, he ends up choosing to continue, and something happens during the data transmission. Along with Mie, another soul, he will have to fight to survive.
The character selection reminded me of years ago when I played custom maps in WoW, where you started as a little flame and approached the 3D representations of different players that you could choose from as your race and protagonist.
The author’s style is fluid, engaging, and laced with humor. The balance between gritty realism and lighthearted banter keeps the tone dynamic and prevents the story from feeling overly grim despite its high-stakes premise. The humorous quips and relatable moments, such as Greg’s antics and Mie’s innocent chaos, make the narrative unique.
The narrative shines in its originality. I think that blending MMORPG mechanics with battle royale stakes is a fresh twist that kept me hooked. The exploration of themes like survival, trust, and camaraderie adds depth. Introducing Clara brought a great dynamic to the party, showcasing the growing tension between allies and strangers.
The grammar is solid, with only minor issues, such as overly long sentences in introspective passages.
The characters are the story’s strongest element. Each has distinct motivations, personalities, and arcs. Sam’s balance of leadership and vulnerability, Mie’s chaotic charm, and Clara’s reserved yet capable demeanor create an intriguing dynamic. Greg’s presence as a guide brings comic relief and raises questions about the nature of this new r
Celt ComstockRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Here we join Sam, aka AnythingButSquished, as he is killed and joins the afterlife. But, even in death, he can't escape corporate bureaucracy, and in this afterlife he is forced into a demented game run by a power that is testing the newly-dead for what looks to be a nefarious purpose.
Those who lose are squished, which is far from a good thing.
The MC has a co-MC named Mei, who has a mysterious bond with Sam, as well as his memories. Mei is hilarious, in both her comments and the way she is self-control-challenged. Mei seems to represent both our more useful and playful selves, as well as our intrusive thoughts – a more pure form of our souls.
Overall the book is good fun, especially for those who like dark humor. But the book goes beyond just that surface level, with an interesting philosophical layer that is revealed to the reader through the inner voice of the MC, as he deals with being newly-dead.
Characters: The story centers on the MC, Sam, his mysterious sidekick Mie, and their guide new life/dungeon guide Greg. A cast of other characters play certain roles along the way. All the characters are nicely developed and feel alive. (Well, or in this case, newly-dead.) None are stereotypes, and each has a distinct personality.
Style: The book is written in a first-person POV, with a sympathetic and relatable narrator, whom the reader cares for from page 1. The plot moves quickly, with progression in each chapter. The writing is clean and the action is easy to follow.
Grammar: The author clearly knows what he is doing, writing at a high level with clear, flowing prose. I noticed no distracting typos or grammatical errors.
Story: The story has all the standard things that are expected in LitRPG works, all well written: good fight scenes, cool loot, a vivid world, and understandable and well-developed game mechanics, which add to the story and don't distract from it. The story goes further though, and also shows the psychological struggles of the MC, tr
Cosmo CalicoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I had a blast reading, honestly once you know about Charlie you just can’t stop. It’s a fresh take on the multiversal unknowns of entities beyond our knowledge, incorporates the system, game dynamics and overall just trows you in for the action. Honestly hilarious, and with good characters that you enjoy.
Josiah DavisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: Anything but Squished is a great example of first-person POV narration, with great insights into the main character's perspective. The narration has a friendly, informal tone, and it makes it feel like Sam is telling you the story over a beer. There's lots of great humor and banter between the characters, and a lot of laugh out loud funny moments that either do nicely to contrast with the more epic and emotional stuff or to punctuate it. But don't get me wrong, it isn't all smiles and laughs. There are still plenty of serious, epic, emotional, and badass moments, but it's definitely a humor-forward story.
Grammar: ABS has definitely benefited from its professional editing and proofreading, and it's very clean with few distracting typos or weird grammatical mess-ups.
Story: ABS follows the adventures of a recently deceased firefighter named Sam on his quest to outlast and outsmart the cruel game world he finds himself in after death. The tale draws lots of influence from other big LitRPGs like Dungeon Crawler Carl, but it has plenty of unique aspects to distinguish itself. Though the focus is certainly on gaining power in the game through levels and equipment, it never loses sight of the odd goings on beyond the "instance" of the game that they are in, and Sam's goal to get to the bottom of why he (and all souls) are subjected to this game is a touchstone that the story always comes back to, which gives it a strong central theme. There's also a lingering mystery about the character Mie--a talking baby who not only spawns into the afterlife with all of Sam's memories, but strangely shares both Sam's Soul Space (a "safe zone" he can log out from the game into, which should be his own) but also his life credits. There's lots of great gaming moments (figuring out unique items, exploiting mechanics, hoping to exploit mechanics and getting thwarted), tons of cool fights and neat upgrades, and a really cool and unique climax, but I think having these myste
LJ KnightRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I have been reading Anything But Squished before bed the last couple of days and really enjoying my time with it! The characters are fun, well rounded, and realistic. The situations are comical and drag me into the story. I laughed so hard reading the blurb that I knew I had to start reading right away. There’s some messed up stuff that happens to Sam and he’s gloriously awkward through all of it. The world is so immersive and imaginative that I have to force myself to stop reading every night.
My favorite thing about this story is definitely the humor. I cackle like a mad woman while I’m reading, but there’s some tragedy in the book so far, too. Like the fact that Sam doesn’t know what happened to his daughters. I really hope he gets a chance to find out how they’re doing and if not, I hope that is dealt with instead.
Then there’s Mie who is a delightfully sarcastic character that I could not get enough of. The writing was so well done and I have so many questions about who she is and where she came from, etc. Her past is a total mystery and I can’t wait to keep unraveling all the delicious tidbits!
Lucian T. EinarRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Character Development:
The characters in Anything But Squished stand out as one of the novel's strongest aspects. Sam, our protagonist, is refreshingly grounded—an everyday man with a strong, relatable motivation to return to his daughters. His experiences as a father lend the story a raw emotional core that balances the humor and action. Mie, his Soul Seed companion, is a delightfully snarky and chaotic presence, adding humor and unpredictability to the narrative. Their interactions shine, creating a dynamic that is both hilarious and touching. Greg, the apathetic guide, is a fun subversion of the wise mentor trope, and while initially off-putting, his presence serves a purpose.
Worldbuilding:
The afterlife system and survival game mechanics are intriguing and well thought out. The concept of "Hearth" as a PvP survival arena is reminiscent of MMO mechanics but with enough originality to keep it fresh. The blend of corporate bureaucracy and cosmic horror elements creates an unsettling yet comedic atmosphere, reminiscent of Dungeon Crawler Carl but with its own unique flair.
Pacing:
The pacing is solid for the most part, maintaining a balance between action, humor, and character introspection. The opening sequence hooks the reader immediately, and Sam’s adjustment to the afterlife unfolds at a steady rate.
Flow:
The flow of the story is smooth, largely due to the strong narrative voice and sharp dialogue. The humor and emotional beats feel well-paced, ensuring the tone doesn’t become overly grim despite the survival horror aspects.
Final Thoughts:
Anything But Squished is a fantastic LitRPG adventure with strong humor, great character dynamics, and an engaging world. With some refinement in pacing, worldbuilding detail, and action sequences, it has the potential to be a standout in the genre. Don't understand why so few views.
O.C. WandererRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall 5/5
Recommended.
Fight scene reminds me of the Silkoard MMORPG. Has unlocked a lot of great old memories. Live the narration and the main character so far.
This is one of those stories that you don't have to force yourself to ready, it flows from one chapter to another.
Character 5/5
Sam, err... Anything-but-Squished seems to have a good head on his shoulders so far and not totally cringe, not yet. We'll see. There are a couple of weird moments, but very relatable so far.
Grammar 5/5
Grammar is great, pacing seems good so far.
Story 5/5
Story is interesting, I like the concept of the soul container and the possibilities. The Mie second character is a mystery so far but well made. Greg was annoying, but I'm glad he's gone.
Style 5/5
I like the first-person POV. It would be nice if we could get some more of Sam's unfiltered view on things, but it seems to work. Mie is his counterpart, and she/it seems to be a bit more unfiltered than Sam, showing a real person beneath there. I think it's important in first person POVs to show the true feelings and so far so good in this case.
UnkleJellyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The general idea isn't exactly new but this story manages to keep it fresh. Good characters, good dialog and enough intrigue to keep you going. I thought the starting scene was pretty funny and it drew me in. Seems like a very solid dive into an interesting world. I'd recommend it for aure.
kfigginsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I found myself laughing quite a bit as I read this book but it also had a compelling storyline and great progression mechanics. I also really liked the banter between the lead characters. I've read a few books in the litRPG genre and this one didn't disappoint! Highly recommend you give it a try.
PS: Is Audible a possibility??
styfleRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I’m a couple chapters in and I can’t put this book down!
I’m also confused where this is going to go but I’m excited to stick around for the ride! 😄
I will update my review once I get further but for now, I need to keep adding more words make it at least fifty words long.