Torchbearer 0.5

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Old Version! Find the shiny new version here:

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/88958/genesis-of-the-sacred-machine-a-magipunk-litrpg

.Samantha should have known better than to advance technology in a world of magic.

Her people might have hailed her as a Saint for ushering them into an era of unprecedented prosperity — but the Mage Lords, powerful rulers of their own kingdoms, did not take kindly to her overthrowing the status quo.

Now she is trapped inside the arcane computer she has fabricated to save her friends from the Lords' wrath, and only the last dregs of her divine Wish are keeping her alive. As Feral AIs and mind-corrupting viruses attack her last refuge, Samantha must figure out how she can escape this realm before it collapses and buries the last of her hope with it.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inspired by games such as Persona 5, Superhot, Horizon - Zero Dawn, Control, and The Secret World, Torchbearer is a story about overcoming grief and finding your true self.

What to expect:

Weak to OP MC

Slow Burn

A unique progression system centered around improving computer parts

Weird monsters that blend mythos and machinery

Explorations of grief, rage, and PTSD

A Psychological Mystery Thriller wrapped in Numbers Going Up!

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2023
Author: Madix-3

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 1,211
Views: 261,018

Chapters(95 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

makromagRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So, from a pure emjoyment standpoint, this totally hits my taste . There is magic, a world we have yet to explore filled with mysterious resources, robot mutations and enslaved AI. 18 chapters in, it is still a slow drip feed of information, though much about Sam's background be inferred when paying attention, especially when you're familiar with litrpg tropes.
Grammar: 5/5
this one is easy. I don't think I've spotted any grammatical mistakes yet.
Style: 5/5
This one is also easy. The approach to text boxes is cool and novel, invoking a feeling similar to coding or programming, all who have to read error logs will know what I mean. The pre-chapter boxes are split into two: first is a semi-random blurb lovely connected to the plot. The second part, and far more interesting, is two characters of unknown origin explaining Samantha's backstory to a third character who knows very little about her. One of the characters is pro Sam, the other is more opposed to her and most of what we know about her background comes from here. I enjoy this approach.
Characters: 4/5
I deducted one star for simple lack of characters. Currently there are really only two characters in the entire story, Samantha and zephyro. While their dynamic is interesting, and both characters feel fleshed out, the lack of characters is starting to show. Chris has some minor cameos, but seeing as they can only answer in beep or boop, they might as well be absent.
Story: 4/5
Similar to the deducted star for the characters, lack of progression is starting to wear. The entirety of the plot aside from the first chapter, which is more of a prolog, has taken place in the span of what feels like a few hours at most. We are beginning to see what the magic is capable of in this world, but the plot progression and explanations on the current situation are lacking. I understand that the author has a specific way they want to drip feed Samantha's past, however it feels like they might have forgotten to flesh the current
Henrik SaetreRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I'm hooked. It takes some effort to read and pick out all the little details, and I am loving it.
Style: Interesting. Like watching an M. Night. movie. Piece by piece we are drip-fed the background and story, in a completely unique way. Maybe it wont be for everyone, but I am loving it. Also the boxes have pretty colours.
Grammar: Excellent writing with barely any errors. There are a lot of excellent sentences, and it is clearly a well edited novel, far from first draft.
Story: Intriguing. So curious about what is coming and to follow along on Sam's adventure! Madix has stated he's finished the first book already, and that there is plenty more to come and I am excited to keep reading!
Character: Sam is a wonderful character and interesting. Enjoying the view of how a near immortal character develops as friends and family dies around them. How it fucks with their head. Feels right. And Chris is so Beep, Beep! Boop! :)
Who is this book for?
Those who enjoy good fantasy stories with strong female main character and who are not opposed to doing a bit of thinking while reading. This is not a dumb story. It is in fact quite a smart story :) At least it feels so to me.
SivrehnRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Most of us who have been to literature class know the concept of In Medias Res: Start right in the middle of action, grip your readers in the first two paragraphs.
Madix, however, ran along with this concept and hasn't yet stopped. I am only able to write this review because, well, I ran out of chapters, but, by golly this story has me in its grip.
While the synopsis tells you some of what is going on, and the concepts are explained piece by piece, the action never ever ends, and the aura of mystery remains, and boredom never ever materializes.
And for those of us with a more philosophical bent, whew, this is a veritable feast.
What is progress? Consciousness? Society? The value of morals/ethics? Leadership? The theory of all of this versus the practice? We are in the first arc, and boy, do we get served with endless glorious questioning.
And the characters? Each and everyone with distinct personality and flavor. A common problem in LitRPGs is having so many similar characters you forget who everyone is after a few chapters. Not here. I don't think I'll ever forget Kareem. Or even E1, E2, E3.
This fic is indeed special, and I cannot wait for more!
(Recommended for: Numenera fans, SCP fans, Control fans, etc)
ZeusifiedRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
TLDR:
Torchbearer throws the reader, along with its main character, Sam, into a confusing mess of action. As Sam stumbles into a world that's in the midst of being destroyed, she's forced to learn a new system that is not intuitive with her expectations.
I know this can be frustrating for some readers--it's nice to know what's happening and how powers can progress--but a key aspect of Torchbearer is how it stays close to Sam... which is a good thing! We get to see her grow as she grows, she her fall and fail and rise up again to tackle the ever-growing weight on her shoulders. This is not an immediate power fantasy, but one that gets more interesting over time.
Style:
Torchbearer (from now on, TB) includes a whole lot of different genre elements.
- Science Fiction: There's technology... and lots of it. Machines, monsters, weapons, laptops--even the powers Sam wields are influenced by technology, in one way or another. TB also deals with AI gaining intelligence in different ways.
- Fantasy: Before the story begins, Sam had risen to power in a medieval world. She fell, plummeting from her position, and is picking up the pieces and trying to understand what, exactly, happened. Traditional Fantasy influences carry over here, from swords and maces and armor, to battling monsters in the city streets.
- LitRPG: There are powers! Numbers do go up, but in an atypical way. Sam's stats aren't Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, etc, and her powers aren't pulled out from Skills or Spells or Feats. Instead, Sam wields Wish and Logic, and her upgrades are things like her CPU and RAM.
I think the combination of different genre elements gives TB a unique style. It's easy to tell that the author, Madix, put a lot of thought into this story and cares about what happens within it. On top of that, Madix has included a variety of different tables and formatting throughout the story to make the LitRPG elements easier on the eyes.
Grammar:
No issues with grammar. Dialogue is interesting, t
RollerCoaster123Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
An interesting work of fiction basing its original premise upon the timeline of an isekai.
In short, and in my opinion, worth a read. Admittedly, though, there are some pacing issues.
Now that I may have your attention (or perhaps not due to the admittedly unnecessarily wordy introduction up above), I'll briefly mention that this story was more than I had expected from its premise.
Originally building upon an isekai timeline, it becomes quickly obvious from the very first chapters that the starting point of this story, like many others, does not happen at the climax of the isekai event itself, and in fact not even shortly after, but instead, an indeterminate amount of time after.
I do so love me some mystery solving.
Spoiler of the premise itself over with, I'll move on to the in-depth.
1. Style
The overall score for the style is a four and a half from me. There are many intriguing moments of metaphorical delight, especially in analyzing the constructed world, but most of these come from the characters themselves and are rarely present within the narrative itself.
Similarly, the description of the world are only ever described from the main character's viewpoint, at least so far, and, while perhaps this is the style the author has chosen to go with, the reader in me feels like there were missed opportunities to explore some avenues when it comes to describing this world through other character's eyes, and indeed through maybe the reader's eyes too.
I have seen several stories where the main character point-of-view wasn't necessarily left in the dust by dynamically switching the reference for descriptions and worldbuilding.
That being said, I am a sucker for metaphors and cute eldritch horrors described as a swirling mass of horror and tentacles and cuteness from beyond the void so I may be a little biased.
2. Grammar
A small caveat to mention up here: I will be including all types of typos, including formatting errors and the like.
Overall, very few grammar errors,
goolicRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
We start this story not on the first arc but way past the tenth.
The MC started the story as a normal person and struggled to improve herself and together with her friends has changed the world several times. Then did it again on another world. And now after at least one lifetime of stress and dealing with loss and the weigh of the consequences of her decisions she starts life on yet another world.
Very promising.
Toby ZieglerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Picking up in the middle of the action and conflict is a great way to bring us in, wanting to read more.
As we move through Samantha's experiences, we discover things are happening in multiple layers at once, with a constant sense of the clock ticking toward impending doom.
There's the experience of now, taking place in a virtual world loosely based on something in the physical. There's the physical world, impacting the virtual in detached, yet visceral interactions. Then there's an over-arching conversation happening providing hints and doubts about what Samantha is really experiencing. Beneath all this is her struggle within herself; memories and emotions colliding with the need for immediate action.
If this were any more layered, it would make an ogre jealous.
If you enjoy complex layering in your story, you'll likely enjoy this intricate offering.
BestcoasterRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
There's a lot going on in this story. The reader is tantalized with hints of grand things that have happened in the past even as the main character is thrust into an unknown present. There's multiple stories being told just in the chapter headers. But for all the denseness of the content, it feels as if the plot is simply running in place.
Having a character point blank refuse to tell the MC (and by extension the readers) what's going on would be ok if things were moving along. But there's two such characters and they both refuse to say anything repeatedly and it's gotten to the point of aggravation.
I would like to get to the fireworks factory.
Leahcim ZanathaxRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Ok, lets start with the good. The prose in this story, the ideas presented here are EXCELLENT! The author does an excellent job of introducing the world, or building it. The little we know of the main character is also well done. We have a good idea of what kind of person they are.
I like those parts of this story a great deal.
Now for the problems. I am 10 chapters in and still barely have a clue what's going on. I can infer some things, and there are a ton of hints spread around, but the MC has had ZERO agency the entire time.
I mean, literally NONE. She's utterly helpless, and spends the whole time whining about how she's angry, but how being angry is bad.
Not that I blame her for being angry. In her situation, anger is not only understandable, it would be unusual if she was NOT pissed off! The problem isn't her anger, the problem is her guilt and need to be angry and all of these flashbacks about how her being angry makes her a useless piece of garbage.
The first time it was interesting. It told me something important. Now, the tenth or twelfth or whatever number it is? No. Its no longer useful, new information.
This story feels like one where I'm coming into it and reading the second or third book in the series first. A detailed backstory is one thing. Throwing out the names of a bunch of people who we have no idea who they are, whose only purpose appears to be to berate the MC and add to the sense of the MC's complete lack of agency, is a very different one.
There's a lot of potential here. Like, just a metric crapton of it! But between the complete lack of agency for the MC after ten chapters and the fact that the story so far feels like it's based off of the author's D&D campaign that's been running for two decades, I just can't suggest it.
-_-Royal Road
★★★ 2.5
The story seems to have mixed up narrative depth with confusing writing. The premise is pretty interesting, but I really couldn’t find myself looking toward what was happening next, because nothing really made sense. Its feasible the confusion is part of the writing itself, due to how the MC is lacking in knowledge of their current surroundings. However, instead of making me curious about the setting and wanting to read more, the story has left me with nothing but a bit of a headache. I can see it improving as you read. But I have had really nothing sink in and make me want to read. It boils down to a headache inducing novel that failed to keep me around.