The sitiZen
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
I wonder why people do not write stories about zombies. Such a lovable creatures and so deprived of attention. Decided to correct the situation a little bit. Leave comments after reading please. I'm never satisfied with my own work so I badly need your opinions.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2015
- Author
- HORSE
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 3.5/ 5.0
- Followers
- 3
- Views
- 931
Chapters(1 total)
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(1)
- RznRoyal Road★★★★ 3.5The author is asking for some input, and while it has been a long time since release, I stumbled across this. The opening paragraphs are not particularly bad, it does establish a personal narrative and gets underway with a decent hook. Though the paragraphs and the sentences do tend to run on the long side, a full copyedit of the chapter would help with its reading. A lot of sentences start with I, that could be toned down, or just the number of I's in general pruned some.
Low numbers should be written out and dialogue should be tightened up, not timed with ellipses. Some spacing fixes and perhaps being more tone-aware of our MCs mood should help, to convey the fear better it need not just be told to us or conveyed with exclamation points. This is a good first chapter, I wouldn't call it a prologue - but it has a good start and a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter.