The Breaker

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Alex was accidently killed because he found a seat in a packed bus after a long shift at work. But his death wasn't the end as he found himself face to face with Death.

Granted a life in another world he finds himself trapped in a rigid world where the freedoms he once enjoyed are heretical.

Not willing to live his new life as a such a prison-like world, Alex, is willing to go to any lengths to break free of whatever dares to restrict him from enjoying his gift of a second chance at life. Even if it means he'll go up against the gods of the world.

A LitRPG story about freedom, choices, and escaping from repressive hypocrisy.

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2022
Author: volcanicMole

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 57
Views: 30,100

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Anthony ZarrellaRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
This story started off quite promising, with an interesting premise and interesting writing, albeit a little meandering in execution. I saw that it was only 36 chapters, and after the first few, I was genuinely looking forward to a "bite-sized" novella of above-average quality.
But by about the halfway point, many world-building threads were left dangling, characterization had become sloppy and superficial, and the MC had turned into a Mary Sue. The last dozen or so chapters consisted entirely of "MC waltzes effortlessly through all opposition and imposes his will on the world."
One of them is a chapter-long speech in which the MC tells his own story in a melodramatic, self-congratulatory, "that little boy was me" cliche... and this persuades his audience--a crew of experienced, lifelong-indoctrinated soldiers--to pledge undying loyalty to him.
The final couple chapters became especially egregious--
They amount to little more than a list of radical reforms that the MC made more-or-less overnight (i.e., in a few months of mostly-offscreen time) to change this hyper-stratified, ossified, despotic theocracy into not merely a fledgling democracy, but a fledgling democracy with 21st-Century liberal values. And everyone around him is just fine with it--uncomfortable, perhaps, but ready to give it the old college try.
I'm sorry, but no matter how persuasive you are, you can't take less than a year to go from a society that fanatically worships a goddess of rigid, brittle order, emphasizes everyone staying in their "proper role", practices strictly arranged marriages, and thinks certain people are untermenschen worthy only of laboring for their betters as beasts of burden... into an egalitarian society that accepts two women simply announcing to the assembled crowds that they're getting married before planting a sloppy smacker on each other (one of whom is among the aforementioned supposed subhumans).
Further, one of the only actually interesting supporting characters un