Sien: Nobleman's Adventure [Book 2 complete]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Ebook version:Book 1/Book 2/

Betrayal tears apart the Saradia Kingdom.Five houses vie for the throne, but House Alk seemed destined to win. Their eldest son, a prodigy, dominated the competition. Yet, envy breeds darkness. Conspirators from rival houses framed the Alk's family head and vanished the eldest son. Now, stripped of title and hope, House Alk stands on the brink of ruin.

Sien, the youngest son, barely a man. Thrust into a desperate quest, he seeks his estranged brother, Lance, a general fighting the enemy on the opposite side of the country. Young and inexperienced boy faces challenges given by fate and the enemy Royal Houses. He is not alone as he finds companions along the way who are willing to help him and make him stronger.

Can a young boy, fueled by a love for his family and newfound companions, reclaim his family's honor and rewrite the destiny of the kingdom?

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: Demonic Heaven

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.7/ 5.0
Followers: 2
Views: 3,403

Reviews

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Community Reviews(3)

Ana87Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overall
The story has a solid premise with a lot of potential, but some moments feel rushed or could benefit from more development. Though the concept of the tournament and political intrigue between noble houses isn't new, the author manages to connect this aspects with individual struggles, giving more depth to the central conflict.
Story
The narrative is solid, with a good balance between the tournament action and the political intrigues unfolding outside the arena. There are some sudden twists that keep the reader hooked and could benefit from more development to keep them from feeling rushed.
Style
The author's style is clear and direct, which makes it easy to follow the events. I think that the strength of the story lies in the dialogues that help the reader to connect with the characters. However, as far as the narration is concerned, more descriptions based on sensory details (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) could be added to enrich the scene and generate moments of tension. That in turn would resolve the pacing of the story and make it more immersive.
Character
The main characters are well defined and have clear motivations, although some secondary characters need more depth to avoid clichés, especially the villain.
Grammar
The grammar is solid with no noticeable erros, contributing to a smooth read.
Conclusion
If you like fantasy stories mixed with political dramas, this story promises engaging twists. The ingredients are there, it just needs a little more depth in the characters and settings to reach its full potential.
Pens&KeysRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I only read a few chapters of this story. Let’s rip the bandages off. I felt like the characters and the story a little too generic for me. I do appreciate a lack of specific descriptions of characters and sometimes places. This allows me to envision the characters as I would like. However, in certain stories this is not always a good thing. The fight scenes are way too fast and not described throughly enough. On a higher note. The bit of mystery here can indeed grab the readers attention. Hopefully the deeper the story goes the more the generics fade and the author’s creativity pours on the pages. Outside of this I think the writing is decent and the story is had the potential to be an incredible hero’s journey.
Tricky786Royal Road
★★★ 3.0
Ok so, i only read the first 2 chapters, so my review is only based on what i read.
the story is basically set in a fantasy world, with different houses/familes and all. The spacing is odd, the chapters are small, the fights are not written that well, it doesn't feel that natural. I would suggest you add what the audience says too, instead of simply writing that "the audience shamed Klain." It would be good, and try to describe the fights more, like how did Richt felt when he received that blow, his thoughts etc. Not just say "he hit him in the side", say something like "he got hit in the guts with a hook"( it's a type of punch in boxing if u didn't know).
The one thing I like about this, is the way u describe the characters appearance, just like how you describe the way they look, try to describe the fights in the same way. Try to describe the emotions, like when in the 2nd chapter, that zimwolt guy at first he greeted Gerard and his father, so I thought he is cunning villain since you didn't describe how he greeted them.
Did he greet them with a sly smile, with annoyance, how? We don't know, since it was not described so it will depend on the readers imagination. But later it's written that he was disgusted by their behaviour, now we know that he is just a typical annoying third rate villain.
And it seems you heavily rely on AI, seeing the spacing, the grammar, it's obvious. But don't be dependent on it, try to improve by yourself. And I can update the review accordingly if the author changes the chapters, but for now this is my honest review.