Regarding a Returning King's Magic [Regression Story]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Roa Fariche, the 15th, Seat of Antares, carried the lowliest status amongst Waylurne's Fifteen Stars for being a cripple unable to utilize magic. On the continent of Waylurne, being able to place among the fifteen was a great achievement, however, Roa enjoyed no glory from it.

Now, a threat to the continent emerged. The entirety of Waylurne had fallen within the Spirit Domain's influence. Inside, humanity's torch struggled to keep aflame until but a flickering ember remained. Alongside his companions, Roa fought, and fought, until he, the lowliest, was the last to remain breathing.

There was no longer any point in continuing the fight when he was alone. He had resigned himself to fate, full of regrets.

In this life, Roa Fariche had reached a point where he only ever had to be blinded by the brilliance of fourteen other people—fourteen incredibly bright stars. Then… what would it have been like if he had not been crippled? If he found a way around his stunted growth and continued with both the path of sword and magic?

Follow Roa as he regresses back to his younger self to save Waylurne from its impending crisis.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Alkareel

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 7
Views: 8,060

Chapters(18 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Writer's ScienceRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I'll start with what I liked. I liked the premise of the story and the overarching themes and word choice. There is a lot of potenrial here, but it needs a lot of more context.
Style score: There's nothing wrong with the word choice and POV, but I feel it lacks imagery and there's a lot of telling in terms of how the character feels which reduces the impact of the piece.
Story: This is a high fantasy and high fantasy books need a lot more world building. The reader is effectively starting from scratch and there isn't a lot of context provided before we're transported straight in to the battlefield. The authour talks about seats, but I struggled to understand the significance of them and what was going on in the wider environment of the MC. I think, what may have happened is that the authour has went in from the birds eye view of a character who was born and raise in this world, but there hasn't been a lot of thought put in to what this is like for a reader just coming in to the story. It might be wise, to give the reader some anchor point to work out where in the character's timeline they are.
Grammar: it's fine, no majour issues.
Character score: So, there's nothing wrong with the build of the characters, I'm just missing the depth. The MC is regressing back to his earlier days to re-live his life, but remembers the past, what about the other characters? It's not clear whether or not they remember him from a previous life and that could cause some issue in itself because the MC appears to be treating some people as if he's known them for years which is potentially quite the faux pas. You can't, for instance, treat someone like a long term lover when, technically, in this life, you've never met.
I appreciate this isn't the glowing review the authour would wish for and it's very hard to accept critique. If the authour doesn't agree with something or has questions, my DM's are open and I'm happy to change the review if it's reasonable.