MMORPG: Deliverance

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

Dark Tidings

• CHAPTER 3: DUNGEON RIGHT OR LEFT?
  Mar 24, 2025
• CHAPTER TWO: LOOTY TUNES
  Mar 19, 2025
• CHAPTER ONE: A HEART FOR A HEART
  Mar 17, 2025
• DELIVERANCE ONLINE: REIGN OF THE GODS
  Aug 28, 2024
• PROLOGUE: A WHOLE NEW WORLD
  Aug 8, 2024

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• BlizzzrRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  so the plot is basically MC is a mercenary in a VRMMO and crosses someone who then has him and his family kidnapped and killed, two gods decide to essentially send him back to when the game started 8 years ago, and you can guess the rest.
  as for the grammar? it's good enough, and the author has said he's going back over it, so I feel we're good on that front
  and character? they range from one-dimensional to haven't had enough time to be fleshed out, except for our main character who I feel is good enough for now.
  but the reason I'm making this review, and the reason I gave it 5 stars despite its flaws is simple. IT IS FUN TO READ! it doesn't matter how good your plot is, how complex your worldbuilding, but if it's not fun to read, then few people will read it, I've read novels before where I 'like' it, but then suddenly realize I'm not enjoying reading it and eventually drop it, i have a feeling this won't happen here.
  seriously, read the first 5ish chapters it won't take that long, and you won't regret it.
• ThesheperdRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The overall story is a classic reincarnation tale. The MC has advanced knowledge but it doesn't automatically make him an OP monster. I enjoy the gradual build up of power, he is of course on a fast track but not overly so, where it leaves the MC just one shotting things.
  Style is good, we follow along the authors and have so far had some snippets of the side characters. I would personally like a little more on what a couple of the big bads are up to but I am guessing it will be coming soon.
  The grammar needs some polish and sentences need some restructuring, however it is not bad enough to take me out of the story. The author though is constantly doing re edits and taking suggestions on board, which is great. As these websites are meant to be a two way street of enjoyment for readers and help towards new authors.
  One of the main things I would like to see is more character development, as I haven't got a good feel yet of the central characters personalities. The story is progressing smoothly but I feel as the characters haven't progressed as much. I like the memeber s of the [Wolfpack] party and they seem as if they will be some stable characters throughout. I just think they need some fleshing out.
  All in all, good story so far. I hope the Author continues and also keeps taking on the constructive criticism given by others, to improve, as he has so far.
• WayneGryphonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I read this fic a year or so ago, forgot the name of it, and spent the last 4 months looking for it on and off again, here it is, in my follow list, and was half sure it was an audiobook on youtube at one point in time, it wasn't, or it wouldn't have been on my follow list, but lots of LitRPGs are around and i even searched here but for some reason i skipped over it when looking, i'm glad i found it and am looking forward to reading it again...
• XaozRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I am really liking this story keep up the good work I am looking forward to see where the book goes I am also glad that the main character does not check his stats page every 10 pages it gets annoying when there is no changes the main character does seem scatter. Brains sometimes but the story is still fun
• McBlasterRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  I thought I'll give this one a go and I'm glad I did. I did note before I start reading that is on hiatus but looks to have one complete book out in terms of pages.
  Starts with a prologue that was added in later, but helps the understanding of why MC is determined to repay the injustices he dealt with IRL... Before the gods sent him 8years back in time.
  Sooo.... Everything goes the MC's way... I don't know if this is a good thing. Every battle, every loot drop, every chance NPC meet-up. As of ch29, this is the only hangup I have on the story, you need to have a bit of bad for the good to be enjoyable.
  Very entertaining and easy reading style. Very fast paced, following the MC throughout all his gameplay without dwelling too much on any one situation.
  Some NPC's and other Players get a bit of screen time, hoping they get written in a little more to flesh out the secondary characters and give the story a bit of depth.
• Roof MonsterRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Overview:
  This is a great and breezy Virtual Reality MMO fantasy story. It's fast paced, with excellent clarity in fights. The segments outside of VR are brisk in that the character usually has a goal they accomplish in the course of a chapter. There are a few hiccups with character dialouge and depth, but the pacing of moving to the next set of challenges and rewards helps keep these stumbles minor. It also helps that the character has moments where they are grouped and ones where they are doing tasks solo. Edit: author has been revising their work, keep up the good work! I updated my scores and ill edit this review from top to bottom once I get a chance to reread further.
  Style: The writing moves the reader through the MMO world at a brisk pace, and keeps the focus on goals, challenges, and rewards. The narritive does a pretty good job balancing NPC interaction with the main characters goals inside the MMO with what his plans are outside. I feel like the story is fairly restrained with when it switches perspective and usually tags it clearly when we get a paragraph from someone elses view of the action.
  I think most of my improvements have to do with dialouge, which I pushed more into to character score because it's more tied up with that.
  Some of it has to do with setting, as for example we have a character who was raised in america and has a russian father, but uses the very british terms 'mum' and 'mummy'. If the father figure is training mercenaries, wouldn't it make more sense he'd live in Virgina somewhere near DC, where the majority of PMCs are located? If you're hiring a spy master, there's a better community of people connected to the intelligence sector in washington too.
  I think my biggest coaching would be to think about setting in terms of what it evokes in the character who we're following. What does new york represent to the character and more importantly, to your story? Given that it's the future, you can put down a large tech campus with a towerin
• P1k4ch6Royal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Story has promise. Story progress well and there are very joyful moments.
  Grammar needs work every now and then but minor detail.
  Some minor plotholes here an there but they don't disturb the overall flow of story.
  Current read at chapter 35 and am more than eager to keep on reading more.
• TauwetterRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  Since I am a sucker for "going back in time"-stories, I do enjoy reading this one. However, you can tell that this is the authors first try. There are several issues with the story, especially concerning pace and world building that makes it hard to suspend disbelieve. If you look for a quick read in the "go back in time to win the VR Game and be OP"-genre, there is no hurt in reading it. You can (over)indulge in the usual tropes and slightly cringy characters as long as you dont think to hard about it.
  I, unfortunately, got hung up on a few illogical points and it spiraled from there. I will go through them down below one by one in the hopes to give feedback and suggestions to the author, which will include SPOILERS.
  1. Pace: the story moves way to fast to be believable. The game run for 8 years before the MC died. After only a couple of weeks of playing, he is already involved in several quests to save the roma, saved a person close to the emperor, became a noble and a millionaire. Do some time skips, let him do some newbie quest, make a training montage with the legionnaires before they are actually deployed. In stories and games, the stakes should rise continously to keep the suspense. The first goblin raid a few hours away from the capital with green recruits should not result in some legendary quest chain. Give it some time to build from "the local baker needs some flour" to "save the world"-quests. Same goes for the RL parts. Give it time for the game to become super popular and the MC to slowly rise to money and power.
  2. Worldbuilding: There are several inconcistencies and the world feels contrived as if it was made in order to fit the story with no regard to logic or organic growth. For example: 1. Technological advancements usually go in sync with each other. However, the world has FIVR and nano bots for medicine, but laptops that can't even surf the Internet and current generation cars exist. Have some imagination in the advancement of tech and society,
• WhimsicalDeityRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  I'm a sucker for a good time-loop book, and also a big fan of LitRPGs in general. I'm sure this could be a fun read after some workshopping and hope the author keeps at it.
  The best part of the book so far is the story itself. I'm always a fan of a good OP protagonist who goes back in time, and this is no exception. We also good a good goal for him nice and early on, as we see who he's trying to beat and where he's trying to avoid ending up in this loop.
  The other categories are by no means bad, but could use some work, I think. Grammar wise, there's a lot of comma splices that take me out of the piece a bit. Interspersed with the comma splices are occasional misspellings, tense inconsistency, missing apostraphes, and other small typos.
  Style wise, there are a large number of truly massive paragraphs that I think could be broken up. There's also a good chunk of passages that assume a kind of narratorial voice, where all the sentences in a string are of the form "He did this. He did that. He looked there. He saw that." The overall effect is to render some parts of the story slightly choppy and dictation-esque.
  Character wise, it's hard to say quite as much without getting a touch farther, but the major villain in particular seemed a bit flat to me. A lot of the villain-monologuing felt kind of text-book "might makes right," and there's not a lot of internal thoughts or emotions that we get from our characters that make us relate to them or understand them. Even when we get to the part about girl-drama, it feels a bit like we're being informed what's happening instead of seeing it through Gabriel's lens and emotions.
  Then, as more of an overarching comment, the pacing feels a bit sluggish. I got to chapter 8, but thus far we haven't seen the game or any of the LitRPG elements. It's definitely fine to have an exposition, but it's going to be really hard to keep readers engaged when it takes that long to get to the meat of the story.
  Overall, hope that's all constructiv
• WinzzyRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  First let me say that if you are a fan of regression/mmorpg stories, this fits the bill nicely.  The overall world building and story is pretty great and the interplay between real world and virtual is well done.
  The weekness of this fiction is the dialogue.  It does get better over time but never shines.  In the early chapters the dialogue is stiff, somehow feels like it is trying to be written with an eastern style, or just down right cringy.
  All in all I do like the story and enjoy it but the dialogue pulls me out of the moment fairly regularly.