Do The Wyrm

'Bard's, warriors, tricksters, and idiots in equal measure. They wield the power of magic and song in tandem. Weaving together cunning spells and insulting songs into attacks far more ruthless and personal than a simple fireball.'

-The Classinomicon

'Wyrms, born from the ancient magic of  dead dragons and giants felled in the seventh heavenly war. And birthed through the Spider Serpent Loki tricking the Earth Mother into playing a twisted melody. Wryms are monsters that burrow deep into the ground, through the sea, and into the sky. Feasting on the ambient flows of energy within each, their scales (and chitin depending on their type) can be forged into incredible armor. They serve as a worthy foe to any mid-level adventuring party.

-Evelyn's Guide to Monsters & Mind-Bending Terrors

'What!? A Wyrm Bard attacked and killed all your friends? You either may be the unluckiest lad on the face of this plane, or the most stupidest adventurer from the High Dusks to the Low Tides! Get this dog out of my guild, don't want his stupidity to spread.

-Guild Manager after idiotic adventurer made a scene and stabbed someone.

Seriously, Wyrm Bards can't be real.

Right?