Deviant's Masquerade: Smile Like You Mean It (A Hazbin Hotel/Disco Elysium Inspired Story)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

They say Hell is where bad people go, and that Home is where you make it, so what does it mean when you make your Home in Hell?Booker is a capital D Demon. That is one of the few things he remembers after waking in an alley with a static filled hole in his skull and the instinct that he needs to findsomethingthat's missing.And so he sets out in this Hell dimension to piece together who he is and what happened to him. To do so he'll research forbidden knowledge, make demonic deals, and kill whoever gets in his way all with a smile in his face.---This horror Comedy Features:

-An affably evil protagonist. (Just because he's a murderous monster doesn't mean he has to be rude.)

-Who is also insane. (He has several bickering voices in his head and occasionally breaks out into song.)

-An extremely traumatized orphan side-kick. (She's really not paid nearly enough to deal with this.)

-And the magic of friendship. Or Stockholm Syndrome. (It's one of those.)

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2024
Author: Arthicern

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 29
Views: 27,734

Chapters(56 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(9)

FantalystRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall: 5/5
This book did a great job of giving me nightmarish feelings about the MC. The psychological aspect is very well done, and the risks the writer takes make it a fun story to follow along with. I definitely plan to continue following the story into Act 2 and will update this assuming my potential small issues I note below become less of an issue the more I read on.
Style: 4/5
This is probably the weakest part of the book, in my opinion, but it might just be personal preference, and you may have zero issues with it. To be fair, the style improved by the end of Part 5. Initially, I wasn't aware that the story was based around DE. However, either the author added that to the title, or I just noticed it, which raised my rating by half a point.
There are just some decisions regarding how the internal thoughts are presented that made it hard to follow at first. As I mentioned, if you can get past the first part of the story, these issues seem mostly resolved.
Story: 4.5/5
I have enjoyed Chapter One. As I mentioned in the overall review, this story takes risks, and I personally enjoyed them, though they might be off-putting to some. I do wish there were a few more visual descriptions of the scenes. Regardless, the author more than makes up for this with great character interactions and a well-stitched-together story.
Grammar: 5/5
There are a few very minor issues, but nothing that distracted me from enjoying the story.
Characters: 5/5
The main and side characters are very well done, which is a hallmark of a good psychological story like this. Each internal thought is well laid out, with a distinct and gripping personality that makes you want to pick and choose your favorites.
I'm sure it will come in later chapters, but I do wish we had gotten a bit more from the bad guys in what I've read so far. I’m sure this aspect will improve as the story progresses, but a little more insight into the organization and how it operates in Part One would help me feel more again
LiamVIRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Smile Like You Mean It is my first venture into essentially any of these genres, but I consider it unique enough to spark my interest and possessing of enough potential to hold it moving forward. Learning more about Booker's past is a draw, but the relationship between Booker and Lydia is what intrigues me the most about the story.
Style: 5/5 - While slightly off-putting at first with the differing voices (and the occasional lack of clarity as to the speaker), the prose is generally excellent and I specifically enjoyed the singing section in (Chapter 5?). While it's a little out there stylistically, that's a unique feature and something I hope to see the author develop further moving deeper into the story.
Story: 4.5/5 - It's always hard to provide a proper story review while only having read 20k words in, but thus far it's entertaining enough that I was keen to find out what happened next. I'm picking up early indications that there will be progression aspects, which is always a draw for me.
Grammar: 5/5 - No notable errors, typos or mistakes. (Out of review: Casualty rather than causality is the only thing that stood out to me.)
Characters: 5/5 - I somewhat like Barker, though I'm not a big fan of insane characters in general, he's amusing enough at this stage to hold my attention. I quite like Lydia's character thus far, and looking forward to seeing the direction of her character development.
S.D. HussRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This book is a bit of a turn off the beaten path for me in terms of what I usually read. Though different. The author’s style and imagery is extremely unique, for lack of a better word. However I found the experience of what I have read up to this point very entertaining and immersive.
Style: The author’s style is one of vivid imagery. They do a great job of setting up the very particular tone of the book with masterfully written moments that bring you into the story.
Story: I won’t spoil it, as it’s really worth the read. BUT! The story at first was a bit hard to grasp. You’re literally following a character named Booker who’s… how do I put this? He’s crazy. There are lots of voices in his head that are pulling him one way or another. This sets up the book perfectly for some comedic instances. Horror comedy wasn’t something I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot.
Characters: There are only a few characters of note(If you don’t include the voices). Booker is the main character, and seems less a real character and more a pure driving force for the story. This was such an interesting circumstance, and I couldn’t look at him as I normally would, like other characters in books I’ve reviewed. The creative development of Booker is a resounding achievement for the author. Making me think outside the box to properly evaluate him. I like that; and the more I evaluated, the more I appreciated what the author was trying to do.
Grammar: The grammar was fine. No issues here. Then again, I’m not an editor so, who wants to listen to me?
Overall I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to experience something totally unique.
SkarabraeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: I like this story's style a lot. It has literary devices, in particular a lot of imagery that helps with the story's tone and set various scenes within the story. The author has incredibly good word choice and is able to set the tone very well with it. The author's way of writing is also unique. And I can safely say that the tone fits the story perfectly.
Story: The story is great. It is paced at just the right pace too. The story itself is a story about someone in hell. It is a horror comedy, and it pulls off both the horror and the comedy elements very well. It is scary at times while also being hilarious at others. The plot is also great at keeping you interested. So, I have no complaints with the story.
Grammar: I couldn't find any grammatical errors. That does not mean they don't exist, but if they do, they are most likely not distracting enough for most people to notice them.
Character: The characters are great. They are all well-depicted, realistic, and while not all three-dimensional, the ones that aren't fits the story very well.. The main character is very good, and the side characters are interesting too. They manage to keep things funny as well.
Overall, this is a very good story and I recommend it.
Tamir BuchshtavRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I’ll start by stating that I’ve never played Disco Elysium, so I’m sure there’s quite a bit going on that goes over my head.
Style: 4.5
The style is distinct, and works really well. The voices influencing the main character are good, and the way their name is slowly revealed is fantastic, even if their nature IS fairly clear even from the start. The atmosphere is creepy as hell, but in a good way.
I’m not so sure about some of the bold text, especially the parts that have multiple options at once. Presumably something to do with the source game?
Story: 5
The start of the story uses the good old trope of “character wakes up and doesn’t remember anything”, so we the audience get to learn about the world alongside the characters. Really loved the part where the MC just breaks up in song and beats up the bad guys while singing a duet.
That’s a classic right there.
Characters: 5
The MC is pretty hollow, as a character. Which makes sense, for someone who has lost all of their memories.
The voices influencing him are fairly one-dimensional, but again, this is perfectly fitting for their identities and role.
The final character I’ve encountered so far, Lydia, is probably the most fleshed out character so far, and seems well written and interesting.
Grammar: 4.5
Minor errors, and a few clanky sentences, but overall good and flowing.
Overall: 5
I’m loving the story so far. There’s clearly a lot of things going on underneath the surface, and a lot of background we’ve yet to uncover, and I’m really curious to see where it goes.
longwindedone1Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This review comes after reading the first five chapters of "Smile Like You Mean It." I apologize for the spoilers which will likely occur. The story itself is a Disco Elysium inspired story. I did some research before reading about what Disco Elysium was (a video game).
Story: 5/5
This story follows our MC, Booker H. Freeman. He awakes in a dystopian city, Ira Invidia, with his memories shattered and a smile he can't control. The city's name means "Wrathful Envy" (or something like that- I had to look it up). Struggling with the multiple personalities in his head, Booker navigates the city- a place where people are bound by a system of "Sin." He meets a girl named Lydia, who is desperate to escape the city. Booker begins to guide Lydia toward embracing her own potential for danger. I can appreciate the shattered memories part of the story (I use it in my own writing). It is a great way for a new reader to learn about the world as the story progresses. And the city is interesting and unique.
Style: 5/5
From my research, it appears that the world mirrors the one in the video game, in that it is a gritty urban fantasy setting, where the MC has multiple voices in his head. In both, from what I read, it seems that the characters are hard to peg down as good or evil, but rather are people shaped by their environment. The story is a delicious psychological stew with a hint of madness sprinkled in for flavor. It is written in third person, following Booker and his thoughts (or fragmented thoughts). I loved the strange sense of humor that come from the voices in Booker's head.
Grammar: 5/5
I listen to my stories on Royal Road, for the most part. This one was tough to do using the AI voice because of all of the voices in the MC's head. But that is on the way I chose to ingest the story, not on the author. Other than that I didn't notice any errors that took me out of the story.
Characters: 5/5
There are Booker and Lydia, as I mentioned. Really, other than the person (Emilia)
Tom HockneyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style:
The style is distinct. If you've played Disco Elysium, you'll get what's going on quite quickly. The fixed smile and multiple voices influencing decisions is heavily inspired by Disco Elysium, so if you enjoyed the character in that, you will likely enjoy this.
The way that the MC's primal urges is discribed is visceral, you really feel their bloodlust and rage.
The dialogue is a little shaky in Chapter 1, but after that it's solid, and even shines brightly in scenes between the MC and Lydia.
Story:
Slow to start, but simple to grasp once it is revealed, and quickly developing. You just need to stick with it for the first three chapters before the story becomes clear. Once in the swing of things, the decision making element to the voices int he MC head becomes more applicable and engaging to read.
Grammar:
Not terrible, but room for improvement. Some sentences flow well, others stagger (a few instances of unecessary words which bloat the sentence and spoil the otherwise nice flow).
A little heavy on dialogue tags. Could do with showing emotion, not telling it.
In the beginning, there is a lot of the MC feeling "something", I believe in place of a failed 'skill check'. As a reader who isn't taking part in the story's decision making, everytime I read "He felt something which he couldn't quite place," I may as well have not read that sentence, because it's impossible to infer substance from it.
Characters:
In essence, there are many characters, as there are many voices in the MC's head. The MC himself is the weakest character in my opion, as they begin the book having lost their identity completely, and have very little direction. However, they are guided by these voices in their head--voices of extreme emotions and states. It's these voices where the characters of the book shine. Each has a distinct tone and with distinct objectives, each vies for control over the MC's decision making.
Lydia is a great counterance to the MC and the evil world (full of Nazis, b
n2furRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Grain of salt disclaimer, I've never played the game. Although I'm somewhat familiar with the basics, I wasn't in it enough to know everything happening here. So I looked at the story from an outsider view and tried to focus on the storytelling elements most.
Also, review slightly revised after learning more about Disco Elysium. Anyone who is reading this is likely familiar with it.
Style: Took me a minute to figure out what the author was setting up with the bolded personality thoughts in parenthesis. After that, not an issue. It's probably the easiest way to handle all the different voices, I just wasn't prepared. Second chapter had a very well-done note for skills checks, which I studied intensely for a minute, but then the chapter itself didn't have any checks unless I missed something. I would move that note to a more appropriate chapter or put a small disclaimer that it's not important to know right away.
Grammar: Only noticed one or two typos in the first few chapters, but the reason I gave it four stars is for the long run-on sentences with too many different actions and independent clauses confusing me. I sometimes had to reread sentences to get the full image.
Story: I do wish the story had a little bit more description. In some places there was a single sentence to setup the entire scene and then in other places the author did a lot better to help visualize what was happening. Consistency is probably my only note, otherwise it was good.
Character: There are so many personalities competing with each other that it took a while for them to start making sense. The author does a good job of mostly making each one of them unique without the added benefit of physical descriptions for each.
Overall score: Four and a half out of five for me. It made me interested in playing Disco Elysium, since I have only seen play videos of it. I listened to a few podcasts and reviews of the game since my initial review, and the author's story makes a lot more sense to me, so I
Theora WattersRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I found the concept of a Patreon-guided "Choose Your Own Adventure"-style story to be fascinating. I like seeing how new social and technological developments impact art; this concept feels like it capitalizes on a unique and fun opportunity, which I appreciate greatly.
[Style: 5/5]: The overall tone is consistent and presented strongly. The crazed state of Booker, the peanut gallery of the sins being a good appropriation of the audience while also providing insight and direction, the miserable setting exemplified in the architecture and pitiable off characters, even the eclectic and rapacious writing style: All of these do a good job at cementing the vibe of the story. Consistency is always important and I feel that Arthicern does a good job at displaying the seedy, crazed, yet still functional and at times refined nature of the main character and the story itself. Like sitting on a slightly damp velvet couch in a mid-scale burlesque house.
[Story: 4.5/5]: The story is solid, with Booker having suffered some miserable fate that has resulted in amnesia, which is the major hook. Finding out what resulted in him coming to Hell in the first place and what happened to him just before the story begins is the core of the story, along with Lydia's mysterious origins. Especially considering that the story is decided upon by democratic decision, it's interesting to see the twists and turns. If I had any knock, it would be that we're missing a sense of urgency that a major goal/plot point would provide, but I feel like that will come sooner or later, anyway.
[Grammar: 4/5]: Overall, the writing is well-done. There are some minor issues, like the odd missing word/misspelling, or a stray punctuation error, but they are mostly infrequent. I do think that Arthicern leans a little too heavy on methods of emphasis, like bold/italics and especially ellipses, but this is a minor complaint. I think that the flow of the writing can feel a bit stutter-stop sometimes, due to the back and