Belvdor

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the heart of the brume (mist), lies a city protected from its sting. Liris knows each and every street. Of course, the Keepers could claim the same...but they cheated. She certainly didn't mentally probe every passerby to find the correct turn. Soon that might change, but she still had a year. Or so she thought. That hope died fast, just like all the others. Liris was yanked away from desperate arms...hers were just as thin...and forcibly marched to the gate. Was this a new beginning or simply the end? The acidic brume drifting along appeared to infer the latter.

This story will be quite long so buckle up for the slow burn. However, there will be plenty of intrigue and excitement along the way! I'm of the opinion that character depth and worldbuilding are just as important as plot, if not more so. Time will tell if I live up to that ideal. My aspiration is for each chapter to be better than the last, and ultimately to write something good, not just great. I hope the ride is enjoyable!

Release schedule: One chapter per week

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: AspirantLuminary

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 221
Views: 15,648

Chapters(16 total)

What readers say about Belvdor

“Firstly, you should check out this story. As far as stories on this site go, I can confidently say that this has one of the more unique takes on a fantasy that I have read. The protagonist begins their journey in a very weak place, and I can tell that a lot…”
C. Sebastian NuttRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“I found the story very intriguing, and the Author's style of portraying the character's inner thoughts and confusion was masterfully done. The idea of the Brume and the sense of mystery surrounding the world and their abilities left the reader wanting more…”
C.H. MouserRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

C. Sebastian NuttRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Firstly, you should check out this story. As far as stories on this site go, I can confidently say that this has one of the more unique takes on a fantasy that I have read. The protagonist begins their journey in a very weak place, and I can tell that a lot of this story will be devoted to overcoming that. A great find and a good read.
Style: One thing that I can note about the style of the writing found in this story is that there is a clear emphasis on descriptive scenes. This is a powerful tool to help draw the reader into the story, and I believe that the writer employs it with excellence.
Grammar: I did find a few mistakes here and there in the grammar, but nothing particularly noteworthy. The language flows in a natural way. There is a clear emphasis on evocative language, which can be a source at times for some mistakes, but the writer avoids that for the most part.
Story: This is likely one of the more unique aspects of this story, the story itself. Not a whole lot has yet been revealed about the world; what we know is that apparently people with powers fight in wars between cities, but that aspect has a lot of room for exploration. I do find the story of someone ripped off the streets and suddenly given a fantastic power to be rather engaging. I can't wait to see where it goes.
Character: The characters, especially our protagonist, do seem to have a depth to them that is refreshing to read. Seeing the story from mostly a single perspective allows for emotional attachment to manifest rather quickly, and I think that the writer accomplishes that here. Well done.
C.H. MouserRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I found the story very intriguing, and the Author's style of portraying the character's inner thoughts and confusion was masterfully done. The idea of the Brume and the sense of mystery surrounding the world and their abilities left the reader wanting more to try and understand what exactly is the Brume. It had a very Traditional Fantasy vibe that I loved, and I felt that this would grow into something even more amazing as the character developed and the world was further defined.
Style: This is actually one of the best things about the story. The Author is very skilled at what they do, and it shows in the word choices and sentence structures used to define the character's thoughts and the world around her. The Author's style matched Liris's jumbled thoughts perfectly as she experiences fear, confusion, and doubt, fighting away the terror of what she is going through.
Story: The story was excellent, from what I have read. The world carries a sense of mystery and intrigue as we are taken on a journey to experience the Brume through the eyes of Liris as she struggles with what is happening. It has a Traditional High Fantasy feel that I thought was great and felt like it could become something great.
Grammar: To the undiscerning eye, I felt it was perfect. Not once did any type of grammar or punctuation error interfere with my reading experience.
Character: From what I have read, the character was developing well, and you could really feel her fear and confusion as you were thrown into the story. Her inner thoughts about what she is experiencing really highlights the Author's skill. Some may find her jumbled thoughts to be grating over time but I thought it was great.
RavensFantasyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: The author sets the story up well with a very interesting first chapter. As the story continues the author carries the style of the story throughout their chapters quite well. The chapter length overall is the perfect length in my opinion, containing good amounts of dialogue between characters and enough description so you can visualize what is happening throughout the story. The spacing between the paragraphs is a bit off with me but overall the flow and story set up is great! Nicely done here!
Grammar: I am not one to judge on grammar too harshly, so I have no complaints there. That doesn’t mean there are not any grammar mistakes, I just did not catch any.
Characters: Liris seems to be a well thought out and put together character. As the story continues to develop we are given the chance to watch Liris learn and grow as a character as she learns more about what she is capable of doing. Her overall power seems unique and is interesting to read about. Other characters like Cealia and the council all seem to have different skill sets that are all unique in their own ways. It will be interesting to see how each of them use their abilities. The author does well at describing each character that is introduced and the dialogue flows nicely between characters. Nicely done!
In Summary: I have little to no complaints in regards to this story, as the author is able to maintain overall flow and style throughout the whole story. The last thing I will say would be this, I read this story around the time it was first posted and I was happy to go back to it and continue reading it, as it is overall a good story.
SkarabraeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I like this story quite a bit. It has a lot of good things going for it.
Style: The style is really good. The author is able to keep up the perfect tone for the story. Their word choice is good. Their way of writing is unique. They make great use of the literary device of imagery as well. So, no complaints here.
Story: The story itself is very good. It is paced how it needs to be. It also develops at exactly the right place. It also has really good worldbuilding that I like quite a bit. The story does what it intends to do as well, pulling off its premise incredibly skillfully. So, I think the story aspect is very good.
Grammar: I couldn't find any grammatical errors. That doesn't mean they don't exist, but I couldn't find any. So, you likely will not find any errors distracting.
Character: The characters, main and side, are all three-dimensional, well-depicted, and realistic. Also, they are very interesting to read about. The main character is easy to root for, and I like her interactions with the other characters. SO, no complaints here.
Overall, I highly recommend this story. It is a great read.
gliglithRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Here is an intricately woven tale with much more to unveil - it’s a great fit for fantasy fans who like to think and puzzle over well developed worlds where answers only beget further questions.
Style: The author has perfected showing with strong prose and a healthy balance of dialogue. Imagery is strong and does a lot of the heavy lifting here, to great effect. The author’s voice can be formal/semiformal at times, and I think this fits very well with the heavier, mysterious tone of the story quite well.
Story: A lot of things happen in this story at a rate that are unexpected to our main character, which gives readers a chance to learn alongside her as she discovers that she is a Unique, who those are, and what all that entails. There is still an awful lot to learn and dig into here, and what has been posted so far gives the impression that this has been planned and thought out thoroughly. I feel like, as far as implementation goes, the story does a great job of keeping you interested and establishes the MC’s motivations early on despite a slow burn.
Grammar: Nothing of note here, I didn’t notice any issues and felt the work has been revised/edited.
Character: Liris is easy to relate to and root for, especially considering she does an awful lot of learning so far in the story. She also has some great contrasting chemistry with Cealia, whose insulated life seems to put them somewhat at odds with one another for a moment or two. I also feel that in a way Brume is as much a phenomenon as it is a character, and that it has a lot going on behind the scenes that we have yet to learn.
Overall this story is quite intriguing and is certain to delight high fantasy fans that want to dig into a dark mystery!
SilverWebRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This is an interesting story that has an interesting power system in place. It seems as though each power is somehow mind based which is intriguing. Liris is a nobody and has been told she is a nobody her entire life but suddenly it all changes. Sort of. I really enjoy the political dynamic so far. On the one hand, Liris is given high esteem based on her newfound ability and on the other hand, the powers that be seem like they couldn’t care less about her still. It will be interesting to see how this political power structure influences Liris’ future.
The author does a wonderful job of illustrating the world. In every scene, I feel like I am right there. I can visualize everything well and some things are left for me to explore in my own way. Everything is shown not told. Really masterfully done on that part. It makes the reading experience much more vibrant.
The initial story reveals enough to paint a picture while leaving enough questions to keep you reading. It will be interesting to see where this story goes.
Liris is a rather enjoyable character. She has a cynical world view which is to be expected from someone from her background. Her internal dialogue is interesting and funny. She is just as likely to take a jab at herself as she is someone else. Sometimes mentally and other times verbally (on accident).
The grammar is great and the pacing of the story is nice so far. The chapter are great sizes. Not too long and not too short.
Overall an enjoyable read and it is exciting to see where this will go!
Hollowed ScribeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
OVERALL THOUGHTS
The good qualities of Belvdor outweigh my gripes by a large margin. This ultimately leaves a story you won't regret reading if you are patient and prefer a high-quality roast cooked low and slow over a hot pocket in the microwave.
The mystery, worldbuilding, psychology, and attention to detail here is top notch, and learning about phenomena such as the Brume is intriguing. I found the style to be a double edged sword though. The prose is so committed to telling you everything our protagonist sees and thinks that the pace drags far beyond "it's a slow burn story" working as an acceptable explanation. Editing for concision may be needed.
Paragraphs of stream of consciousness internal narration sit between a majority of dialogue lines and simple actions. Sometimes, they are important and reveal new things. Other times, it's repetitious filler. The prime example of this is Liris's dread and uncertainty. This is a nail hammered into the wood fairly early. I do not need to be reminded about it several times every chapter.
Before I digress, it is good to have too much rather than not enough.
STYLE
Other than the prior concerns, the prose of Belvdor is strong and becomes more comfortable to read over the course of the story. The description are vivid. By chapter eleven, they had tickled my brain so much that I could see the scenes while reading.
Not only that, but the writing flows. The paragraphing and sentence length diversity is nice. This has potential to be fantasy literature. It cares about craft and sticks out compared to the popular popcorn stories of Royal Road that have dry screenplay prose unacceptable by the standards of traditional publishing.
The only thing that made me stumble were some rare or high reading level word choices that made me, a college graduate with an English degree, open a dictionary.
STORY
Belvdor is not very plot driven, but its story engages you anyway. I was never on the edge of my seat, anticipating a big reveal or dreadi
RaizuNRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overview: Belvdor is an imaginative story, not the kind of copy-paste cardboard story that chases the mainstream tropes. This story establishes its own unique world, complete with an interesting power system and a fully fleshed-out infrastructure. The characters are well-done, especially the MC. The author does an amazing job of placing the reader into her mind, and painting the world through her lens. And the story seems incredibly promising, in part due to the creativity of it all. I'm sure the author has some amazing things in store for the story, and I can't wait to see it shape up!
Story: As mentioned above, there's little more that I need to say beyond that this is a unique story, one that will undoubtedly follow its own path, which means that it does not seem confined to the predictable tropes of most mainstream stories. Admittedly, the story takes its time getting started up, but I think its all the better for it. The author has indicated that this will be a long, slow-burn story, and it has already been set up to be just that.
Character: The characters are really very well done in Belvdor. Each is distinct from the rest, and we already have a few very promising side characters set up. The MC is especially well done. Right from the get-go, the reader is thrown into Liris' mind, and the reader can't help but feel and see the world exactly as she sees it.
Style: I'm a bit conflicted when it comes to the style of the author. On one hand, the prose is mostly clear, especially so when it comes to descriptions. The author has no problem with purple prose, and I do appreciate the clear and simple but still evocative descriptions that we get. The pacing is good for the most part, and the MC's personality really shines through the writing. The problem I have, though, is that, on occasion, the story can be a little clunky and difficult to parse as a reader. Words are sometimes missing from sentences, which can, unfortunately, kill immersion on the reader's end, making
Your Hated BossRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overview
I reviewed this book at C3 (chapter 3) and thought the beginning was hard to understand, but well made. Now that I am at C7 I think it is very well made.
8/10 overall
Full review
The beginning is hard to follow, but as it is fleshed out specifically closer to C5 I have started to enjoy the story. It doesn't hold your hand, and you can see that the author is a firm believer in showing, not telling.
The prose clears up going into C3 and starts to flow well at around that C5 mark. I think it's pretty clear growth on the authors part.
The Hook I feel is the Mystery. The Mist mentioned in the book is an allegory to the lack information given to the MC and therefore the reader. You slowly untangle a knot as you read, but it is dense, and you can feel that in the subtle hints throughout the story.
So far I'm very happy I found the book, and will be keeping up eagerly.
V.J.DaranRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Belvdor follows the story of Lirius as she awakens her abilities, and discovers herself to be a unique, a rarity even among those who awaken powers. Many things happen in the story which the MC seems to not understand. As she asks questions and uncovers the truth, we learn along side her.
Story: The start is great and it becomes more interesting with time once the MC awakens her powers and starts discovering more about what it is, how to use it, as well as the world and people around her.
Style: This is maybe my biggest critique about the story, though its probably just due to my preference, but you will find the story to be using a lot of extensive metaphorical descriptions. Personally I find that type of writing to be unnecessary and distracting and find myself often skim reading over the descriptive parts, but if you enjoy this type of writing, then this will be a huge bonus for you.
Character: Generally quite good. We haven't met a lot of characters yet, but the MC is well described and awakens a cool power, which is nice. Maybe because I'm not a fan of this style of writing, but I felt that the character's personality was little hard to visualise. Perhaps describing their thoughts, feelings and expressions in a more simplistic way would help.
Grammar: Found absolutely no issues with this. The author has clearly spent a lot of time editing and proof reading.
Overall, it's a great story with an promising start, that is well-edited and developed by the author. Especially if you are a fan of a more descriptive narrative and story-telling, this novel is for you!