A cruel night in the Pearl City.
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Lyudka and a few street urchins had always tried to survive in the cold and uncaring city. This winter hit them harder than usual, but the group tried their best to pull through this ordeal.But on this night, everything will change. A hunt came after them, and now Lyudka must try her best to save at least someone from her new family.
Information
- Status
- Completed
- Year
- 2023
- Author
- Rookie12
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.8/ 5.0
- Views
- 513
Chapters(2 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- Authors DreadRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0I'll start by saying that the author has a knack for creating a vivid, immersive world that pulls the reader in. The setting of Pearl City is described in a way that makes it feel real and tangible.
There are areas where the story could be improved. Let's start with the characters. The main characters, Lyudka, Galfo, Mateo, and Tolsten, are intriguing, but they could use more depth. For instance, in Chapter 1, Lyudka is introduced as a street-smart, resourceful character. However, her motivations and backstory are not fully explored. It would be beneficial to delve deeper into her past and what drives her. This would make her a more relatable and engaging character.
In Chapter 2, the antagonists, Galfo and Mateo, are introduced. They are depicted as ruthless and intimidating figures. However, their characters lack complexity. They come across as one-dimensional villains, solely driven by their desire for power and control. Adding layers to their characters, perhaps by exploring their past or their motivations, could make them more compelling.
For example, in Chapter 2, when Galfo and Mateo are pursuing Lyudka, the author could have included a flashback or a piece of dialogue that gives insight into why they are so determined to catch her. This would not only add depth to their characters but also increase the tension and stakes of the scene.
The interaction between the characters could also be improved. The dialogue sometimes feels stilted and unnatural. For instance, in Chapter 2, when Lyudka is pleading with Tolsten to save her family, her dialogue feels somewhat forced. It would be more effective if her desperation and fear were shown through her actions and internal thoughts, rather than just her words.
In terms of the plot, the story is engaging and full of suspense. But, there are moments where the pacing feels off. The action scenes, in particular, seem to happen too quickly, leaving little room for suspense to build. Slowing down these scenes and adding more