System Overclock

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Luna Portalla has many skills, but getting herself out of bad situations isn't one of them. She's a wanted criminal, a decent liar, aquestionableplanner, a technological whiz, but most importantly, a big sister. Sarah is her everything, her umbrella in a ruthless storm.

But Sarah isn't afraid to speak her mind,oh no no no; people are people, words are words, and she misses Luna. Everything here sucks. Why does she have to do so much work, and why do all the bad men look like robot zombies? What is that smell? Why is there a tiger locked in a cage, and why are the beds so flippin' hard? There's only one answer: she's been kidnapped, and the only way out is back the way she came.

System Overclock is a cyberpunk story told from two perspectives– the kidnapped girl and the sister who will stop at nothing to find her.

COVER ART BYHWPERFIDY

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: Beverlyy

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.2/ 5.0
Followers: 36
Views: 13,584

What readers say about System Overclock

“Story: This story is split into two separate plots that run alongside to each other. One depicts the elder sister, Luna, trying to save her younger sister and fix her MD, while the other depicts the kidnapped younger sister, Sarah. We learn things as we go…”
HWPerfidyRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Cyberpunkers, welcome home. Looking for a world of neon, chrome, and crime-bending tech? You'll fit right in. But make sure you pack your fake ID and a weapon, just in case. The city is dangerous out there. Zemon is so run by the corporate overlords and lef…”
KnightravenessRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(7)

HWPerfidyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Story: This story is split into two separate plots that run alongside to each other. One depicts the elder sister, Luna, trying to save her younger sister and fix her MD, while the other depicts the kidnapped younger sister, Sarah. We learn things as we go along, and the author does a great job at naturally relaying information about the world to the reader through the dialogue. It’s pretty interesting so far.
Style: As I said above, dialogue is excellently written. It’s very natural, flows well, and effectively conveys relevant information. However, descriptions in the chapters before chapter 3.2 are a tad lacking. The author has improved on this at chapter 3.2 onwards, despite still being a bit dialogue heavy. Though even after descriptions are added in greater volume, they’re still over pretty quickly. Just one sentence for the overall view, and one sentence for a more in depth description. Compared to all the detail and care added to the dialogue, it feels a little unbalanced.
A personal gripe I have (that doesn’t affect the review because this is my personal opinion) is with the similes used, namely “covered the screen like a domestic-abuse victim hiding a bruise” and “hands together like someone taking a silent dump”. They’re certainly creative, but it’s a bit of a leap between what’s being compared to what. I get that the author is trying to go for dark humour here, but I don’t find it adding a lot to the narrative, and neither do I find it funny. Not my cup of tea.
Grammar: No problems that I see.
Character: So far I’ve gotten through five chapters and the only characters I actually remember are Luna, Sarah, Chip and Vanderman. Of which only Sarah I remember the name of and the rest are just “the hacker who cares about her sister” and “the guy with the hacker”. Sarah is easy to place, since her tone of voice and personality are very distinct and recognisable, both through her monologues and the dialogue, making her very memorable. However, for the rest of th
KnightravenessRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Cyberpunkers, welcome home. Looking for a world of neon, chrome, and crime-bending tech? You'll fit right in. But make sure you pack your fake ID and a weapon, just in case. The city is dangerous out there.
Zemon is so run by the corporate overlords and left to rot, that being a criminal is practically a day job. And it's definitely a step up from slave or robot-zombie.
Luna a is foul-mouthed rough-and-tumble with a kinetic edge, augmented limbs, and a Mental Display mod that makes hacking a breeze. She's also the sole care provider for her little sister, Sarah. And in a city where its easier to find drugs and hookers than it is to find help, that's easier said than done. Thievery has gotten Luna and her sister off the streets, but the lives ahead of them aren't much better unless they can leave Zemon and flee the reach of the evil Milicorp overlords. And that takes money. Like any good challenge, that means one last, good, heist.
Unfortunately, with a shitstorm behind Door A and storm of shit behind Door B, eventually, shit is going to hit the fan. In one fell swoop, Luna's epic "last" heist ends with her sister kidnapped and delivered into slavery, her crew separated and incommunicado, every swat robot in the city looking for her, and malware in her MD that it set to kill her in under a month-- unless she turns herself in, and leaves Sarah to her fate. And she can't do that.
Follow Luna, and Sarah, as the two sisters lead parallel journeys to reuinite. Taste the alcohol action, watch the bawdy dancers, fight the power, and the powered.
Style: Slightly uneven in places, as the author is still finding the best places to elaborate on the settings (as per, I think, feedback of some other reviewers). I for one, do better when the aesthetic is set, and my imagination is left to take over, so this is no problem for me. I get that many Cyberpunk genre lovers probably prefer the extensive scene setting, as it's the world style they crave first and foremost. But as I come f
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I don't read too many of these in the current day so I can't say for sure whether its better or worse than the average but I certainly enjoyed it. Had a lot of focus on the personalities and motivations which is absolutely loved. We actually get a deeper look into why they are doing it instead of just what they are doing. Sure, it's got a few issues but is overall a great piece.
5/5
AstrilleRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
System Overclock starts by dropping you right into the action. As the title suggests, the technology is ramped up and so are the stakes for our characters. Right from the very first chapter, the motives of our main character are laid bare, as are the directions that the plot may take.
The setting seems to be stereotypical cyberpunk, though the dialogue-heavy chapters often leave much to the imagination in terms of scenery. This is where readers will have to make their choices of whether this read is for them. Personally, I like a story that is willing to meander a bit so that we can see the environment. Those that prefer to jump straight into the action and not look back - this read is for you.
I've marked style down a tad because sometimes the chapters feel a little bit too dialogue heavy. Don't get me wrong, the conversations are sharp and the flow is good but it left me wanting to see a little bit more of what the world had to offer.
The chapters that contained the younger sister felt a lot more balanced in this respect.
The story is good. The author seems to have a good idea of what direction the story is heading in and everything seems to be falling into place for an enjoyable read.
The grammar is impeccable. Some of the best that I've seen on RoyalRoad.
The characters are where I feel divided on this. The younger sister is carrying this story for me, though whether this is simply because she's easier to relate to or simply more lovable is yet to be seen. It's also refreshing to see a character with autism who doesn't fall into the awful tropes that have been portrayed in popular media in the past.
The older sister might grow on me in time. It's early days yet.
All in all, a really excellent read. The author has set the bar high for their first novel released on RR.
Ellen TaylorRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Grammar: Excellent. I found nothing that brought me out of the story, and thought it was well done.
Style: There were only one or two occassions where I tripped up over a strange wording or dialogue, but it didn't pull me from the story. When flashbacks did happen, they were clearly marked, and POV shifted with every chapter break.
Story: A very interesting story. The technology is advanced and cyberpunky. The reader is thrown immediately into the action of a heist gone wrong, and the consequences of going against a powerful enemy play out with the rest of the novel. As the novel goes on, I do feel more concerned and interested in Sarah's predicament, which made it hard to read Luna's part, simply because I was concerned about Sarah and wanted to get to her part of the story.
Character: Sarah was great. A lovely character that I couldn't help but feel sympathy for, and understood why Luna was trying to get her back. The two sisters and Vanderman (not sure on that spelling) were the ones that stuck out to me the most. A lot of the others fell into the background, or mushed together to be just names on a page. The evil characters especially seemed evil only to be evil. It's still early enough that I will admit I don't know too much about Glitch's motivations right now other than he's proving he's smarter than Luna. There is still time to find out more why he's so set against making Luna so miserable. All his other henchmen are just henchmen, and there wasn't much to tell the difference between them all.
The dialogue at times was quick and snappy, revealing a lot about their characters, then at other times, especially when it was a few side characters we'd (probably) never see again, they just seemed to be talking heads, giving worldbuilding or plot-moving dialogue.
Overall, though, I like what I read. The relationship between the sisters is belivable, which is super important in a story like this. Keep it up!
Banner CaygeonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story is about a pair of sisters, one a thief and the other her 12 year old sister. After a job goes awry for the older sister, her younger sister is held captive and taken into a drug operation.
Grammar Score: I'm not equipped to rate this, but this piece seemed especially polished.
Style Score: The dialgoue is excellent, and you feel like you are in the moment with them, and everything each character says is quite believable. Especially the swearing, probably the best example of literary swearing I've seen. That said, there is a lot of dialogue. It's sometimes too zippy and a bit hard to keep track of who's talking to who.
Story Score: It's decent. A typical Heist/Thief story who gets one upped by a better thief and then will undoudetly have to out-thief the other thief. It's still early days, but I'm expecting the younger sister storyline to really drive the originality of the piece.
Character Score: The older sister character is quite good and her companions Vanderman and Chip have a good rapport. Chip is probably the most tropey of the bunch, the smart assed techy of the crew. The younger sister is where the characters really shine. Chip said she had Aspergers, but I wan't entirely sure if that was him being a smart ass or she does. If she does it's a brilliant.
All in all, this is a fun, zippy story of thieves and revenge.
Raz ScrivensRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
OVERALL: 4.5/5
There’s a very retro-future charm to System Overclock that I think is common among cyberpunk stories. The environment, the tech, the characters, the humdrum realities of their everyday life are all very stylish and turned up to the max. Even disregarding the plot or anything about the universe, the aesthetic, if nothing else, is very Blade Runner. Fans of the genre will feel very at home.
STYLE: 5/5
The style mostly keeps the story flowing pretty well. Most of it is action-heavy with some conversational moments that provide good rhythm to it. The dialogue is all very short and sweet, snarky, witty at times, and very fitting for the story being told. And then you get the occasional brightly-colored word between brackets like and that’s always a fun little detail as you’re reading. My biggest criticism of the style is that with this many characters, a missing dialogue tag can stop up your average reader, and I found myself backtracking to work out who exactly was speaking at times. Some more tags or at least dialogue “clues” I think could improve the flow.
STORY: 4.5/5
The story has a great hook that ties directly to character motivation and development. Not only that, but there’s an additional motivation that adds more tension to the plot. In my early notes, I criticized these back-to-back plot points as being too much, saying that the reader’s attention would be too divided to care enough about either plot thread. The more I read, though, and seeing how the author used this other plot point to create a new POV thread of chapters, I was satisfied with the “page-time” both plotlines got. This story shines the most when it comes to setting descriptions. Exquisite imagery using both accessible descriptors and sci-fi-sounding details that enhance the flavor of the worldbuilding. The action in many parts of the story is great, but some of the ultra-tense moments dragged on at times, with no increase or decrease in the level of tension. (It's a balanc