Shadow Ensouled

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Janet led the difficult life of a person with no magic in a world where magic is everything. A cult tries to sacrifice her, forcing her to confront her own weakness.

She has to rely upon her own brand of borderline heretical magic to survive, in the process exposing her deepest secret – she possessed magic all along.

Now, Janet must sink or swim in an unfamiliar world as she runs from any that would persecute her. For those that will seek her death anyway, Janet sharpens her claws against all opponents she comes across on her journeys.

Her caustic shadow blooms in the dark as her soul rears its maw to consume her every kill. Janet is no longer the meek little lamb she once was.

Her power swiftly gathers, a shadow steeped in soul –a shadow ensouled.

This is my first ever attempt at writing anything. I would really appreciate your feedback on what I’m doing right, or wrong. Just remember to follow, favorite and leave a rating.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Tincture-T

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 212
Views: 53,470

Chapters(40 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Scrapheap class NHPRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
Grammar - For the most part it's alright. Missing punctuation marks or missing words are the biggest issue here, and can be jarring when you're unsure who is speaking.
Style - Likely my least favourite part of the story. Sentences can repeat themselves right after one another, stating the same thing. Things stated at the end of one chapter get ignored in the next for the sake of moving along (having gathered meat one chapter, but needing to go hunt the next morning because she has no food - which leads to magic practice). There is a lot of mixing between 3rd limited and 3rd omniscient as well.
There are periods where the language is poetic with more advanced words for no particular reason, which when sat against the rest of the story's reading level have those moments stick out. There is also a very wibbley sense of time passing. What feels like days can later be stated to be weeks or months, and it is very hard to keep track of. Similarly in that vein, many aqcuisitions of power seem to go by unsaid, and it can become very confusing when I have to stop and ask myself 'when did she learn to do that?'
Character- Lowest rated but maybe not my least favourite. My biggest issue here is the inconsistency between what we are told and shown. We are TOLD that Janet had a rough life and was always running, but we are SHOWN that she locks up in every confrontation. We are TOLD that these are mighty adventurers who would serve an emporer, but we are SHOWN that they are petty and can be outsmarted by the street-rat. We are told that Janet is an incredibly curious and bright girl who has read so much she knows esoteric and ancient languages, we are shown that she ignores things that draw her curiosity because the answer isn't immediately obvious.
Story- Honestly, really promising foundation. Feel like more gets told to the audience than necessary in some parts, especially in the earlier chapters, but all in all it's not too bad on that front. It's hard to say at this stage how m