Refrain(Worm/DUNE)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

I use AI to proofread, rewrite otherwise clunky dialogue and conduct research. That's All.

In the hidden corridors of time and mind lies the great gamble. So it was that Paul Atreides—Muad'Dib, the one foretold as Kwisatz Haderach—steeped his soul in the Water of Life. Yet where he should have emerged to the familiar spice-laden dust of Arrakis, he instead awoke to the mocking giggles of a high-school classroom. His body not his own. His memories fleeting, borrowed from a boy named Greg Veder.

Cast into a strange universe where grim forces and towering powers clash, Paul's once-certain vision falters. The lessons of the desert remain, but the path ahead is no longer lit by starlight and prophecy. Faced with impossible enemies and a cosmic tapestry woven from alien threads, Muad'Dib must glean anew what it means to stand at the nexus of fate—before he is swallowed by a future he cannot truly see.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2025
Author: Raven_Aelwood

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.8/ 5.0
Followers: 804
Views: 252,940

What readers say about Refrain(Worm/DUNE)

“This story is a delight. Befitting Paul Atreides, from the first moment of his awakening, every action is a smooth, self-assured march towards to implementation of his goals. Beginning from stabilizing his new identity, mapping out threats, and then beginni…”
toddRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Maybe a bit of a bias, but I've been Raven's reader since his Golden wyrm day in spacebattle. It's good stuff, better than half of the stuff on weekly rising. An actually interesting protagonist for once, no system, just... good stuff to read. oblitary word…”
MogunCometRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

toddRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is a delight. Befitting Paul Atreides, from the first moment of his awakening, every action is a smooth, self-assured march towards to implementation of his goals. Beginning from stabilizing his new identity, mapping out threats, and then beginning to systematically undermine and curtail the control of each major power. The best part is the clear tactical analyses and smooth surgical strikes that let your follow his plans step-by-step.
The second thing, is that the protagonist is supposed to be ruthlessly intelligent, and he actually reads that way. It's not just saying that he's brilliant and expecting the reader to believe it, but doing enough research to credibly demonstrate the he has a deep understanding of everything from military tactics and personal combat to systems architecture and biochemistry. He doesn't rely on convoluted plans, but singular pragmatic strikes that tilt probabilities in his favor. Despite the superpowers, there is a deep realism to his operations that really carries through.
The last, is that Paul is not a villain out of any instability or personal desire but sheer ruthless pragmatism. It's to the point where the public could easily see him as a dark hero, his actions seemingly exposing corruption and taking down monsters, and only those with the vision to see it would even realize the scope of his ambition. All in all, this is a great dark superhero story with genuinely intelligent and capable protagonist. Highly recommend it.
MogunCometRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Maybe a bit of a bias, but I've been Raven's reader since his Golden wyrm day in spacebattle.
It's good stuff, better than half of the stuff on weekly rising. An actually interesting protagonist for once, no system, just... good stuff to read.
oblitary words to furfill review word limits
TheAncientRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Honestly one of, if not THE best fanfic I've ever read. To be fair a large part of that can be attributet to the Main Character in this Series and his competence comparitively to many MC's, which is something that I generally don't like about a lot of fiction.
But returning to the other aspects of the story, the Setting is very well researched and fleshed out and in a lot of parts feels as if you're actually reading the original work.
The only exception to this, is that you can still notice the AI assistet writing in that there are far more, and more descriptive adjectives used when compared to a lot of purely Human writing.
This however isn't as grating as it usually is because Frank Herberts original work also uses a lot of that and it thereby fits better. Still if that is something you cannot accept, it's valid and I therefor deducted a Star in Grammar (which is otherwise pretty much flawless).
The characters all feel alive and behave very similarly to how they are portrayed in the original works, which is another big plus. The multiple POV's don't feel overwhelming or lackluster compared to the MC's POV.
Storywise I won't go into much detail to avoid spoilers, but I'll still say that I find it to be very well put together. It doesn't feel forced or tedious.
The pacing of the story is pretty fast and gets even faster in later chapters which is my only real concern for the rest of the fiction. I liked the pacing in the first chapters but I can understand that with the complexity of the story happening in later chapters, the same depth of writing for each aspect of the story could become overwhelming, so I'll see where the author takes it.
To sum it all up: A definite recommendation on my part. Even more recommended if you've liked either of the original works. This is probably as close to those you'll get from another author than the original.
greadimmRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Easily one of, if not the strongest Worm and/or Dune fic I've read. Not much to say here other than read it if you have any interest in either fandom or just well written stories in general. My only complaint is having to wait for new chapters, really. I'm slightly concerned about the future, as these stories with hypercompetent characters often hit a point where they become tedious, but so far this story has done well in avoiding that fate.
AazurickRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Dune is not a series or world I find myself heavily invested in, here however I find myself loving anything and everything dune related. Learning about the world of dune and how Paul sees Brockton bay from the eyes of someone from such a different, more brutal world is astonishingly fascinating.
Details and descriptions of things are concise while also giving me chills. Paul’s outlook on life in this bleak and unforgiving city is something I never thought wanted but now desperately want more of.
So few crossovers are even comparable to this. It’s just so different and unique in its presentation and dialogue that I can’t not love it.
It’s inspired me to like Dune and Worm even more then before, which is exactly what a crossover should do.
mrnightcrawlerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A comment on this fic(space battles) said that the writing is similar to that of Dune. I haven't read Dune but after reading this fic I am interested in reading Dune just because of similarities in writing and pragmatic nature of Paul.
There is some stuff that is overly poetic or trying to relate a mundane stuff with something else but it sounds weird(?). Only a couple of sentences sound this way rest are good.
Frequent update - 5
Grammar - 4
Plot - 4.5
Characters - 4.5
Anhanga_spiritRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A must-read, even for those unfamiliar with Dune or Worm.
The story is great, intriguing and thought-provoking. I've never read Worm or Dune. But I'm still immersing myself in these universes, curious about the depth of their characters and how the story unfolds. And for me, who doesn't know the plots of any of the stories, I still have many moments of surprise and engagement with the chapters. I wish the chapters were longer or a little more frequent. But that doesn't detract from the story in any way.
I didn't notice any grammar issues, and no one in the comments seems to have identified them either.
The style of the story is varied, with introspective moments and a series of psychic analyses of the character that dominate the chapter. The pace is varied, with moments being completely analyzed and others passing quickly, the author has in mind what is important and what is not important for his readers. I'm a little tired of the scenes of Paul dealing with his family's boredom, but I understand that the objective is precisely that, the cost of maintaining his secret identity, of living in the shadows with a purpose far greater than everyday life.
I deducted half a star, because in RR the author interacts only by giving +rep in the comments, apart from that a perfect story
Brian411Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Pretty good, so far I am enjoying this fanfic. Don't really need to know either fictions completely to enjoy.
The only thing I could say is that sometimes it's a bit jarring when he goes from being addressed as Greg but internally he is Paul, i figured he would resolve himself to be Greg since that is the bodies identity but I guess that was on purpose and is a me issue thing and not the writing.
Keep up the good work author!
OdiousOtterRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Has great potential, and so far a very enjoyable read. Being familiar with Dune myself, a lot of it makes sense. Plenty of room to escalate in the Worm universe, and seems to be doing so at a good pace. Almost a bit too clinical, but that makes sense given it's Paul. Keep up the great work!
softlyRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
Overall: Dropped at chapter 5.01 due to increasing frustration with the prose. The author says they use AI only for "proofreading and research", so I'll review the writing on its own merits.
Story: Follows the major plot-points of Worm, and as of 5.01 has done a good job of integrating a new character and their effects into that world. The pacing would be good if not for the style issues interfering.
Style: I found the writing style bizarre and uncomfortable to read. It switches between a fairly direct and efficient style (mostly the dialogue), and cloyingly purple prose. This sometimes takes the form of excessive adjectives, metaphors, and similes. Other times it's the author's strange preoccupation with the way places smell. Here's a typical example taken from the opening paragraph of chapter 5.x (Prelude)(Tattletale):
"The taxi smelled like stale cigarette smoke and pine tree air freshener, a combination so ubiquitous it was almost comforting. Almost. Lisa watched the salt-sprayed, sun-bleached signs of Old Saybrook, Connecticut, slide past the window. It was a town pretending to be asleep, all quaint storefronts and quiet residential streets that felt a little too perfect, a little too clean. An hour's drive from the barely-contained chaos of Brockton Bay, it felt like another world."
The sheer density of flowery, overwrought language and unnecessary descriptors makes it awkward and tiring to read. It's an entirely mundane moment, but the prose is building it up just as much as the most dramatic story beats. Two more quotes from that same chapter, just a few paragraphs away:
"The air was thick with the smell of salt, diesel, and dead fish."
"The cavernous space beyond smelled of ozone, hot metal, and strange chemicals. "
What does "hot metal" even smell like? What does this add to the scene beyond some extra words to stumble over? None of the smells here (or in other scenes) are ever acknowledged or referenced or in any way relevant to the characters.
There's on