Magical Girl Vanguard [Abandoned]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

"He stared at the shipand the ship stared back."Cosmic horrors, the Yabanchi, interrupt Liara's first day back at Magical Girl Academy, when they invade her city and begin their slaughter of its inhabitants.Stuck in an endless war between humanity and eldritch abominations, Liara has to navigate life as a new Magical Girl and face truths that will make her question the substance of her reality.Meanwhile on the other side of the universe, an Imperial Vanguard soldier named Tanlon is subjected to human wave tactics and forced into battles that he is not expected to survive. The commissars promise him a glorious retirement after he serves in ten battles, yet no one ever successfully completes their tenth jump and lives to tell about it.

Both of these main POV characters, connected by a twist of mercy and fate, have little more than shreds of hope to hold onto, as hands move behind the scenes and worlds are treated as pawns. Alongside multitudes of inhuman horrors, they will face immortal liches, insane artificial intelligences, and a hungering darkness that consumes the stars themselves. Can Liara and Tanlon make it to the end with their sanity intact?

This story is hugely inspired byMagical Girl Gunslinger, by Mikasane, with a point progression system that focuses on upgrading companions and mana skills. There are stats, but no levels, and expect a much darker tone with character deaths and a dystopian setting.

Cover art commissioned from/created by狼Wølf

Chapter releases will take place weekly on Tuesdays

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Conrad Stokes

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 400
Views: 109,419

Chapters(52 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(9)

Sir spudShedRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Yeah, so. I like it.
Characters are sound. Motivations are sound. Things don't seem unrealistic.
Twists and reveals are basically how this story functions and it's rad.
Idk anything about typical MagiGurl stories. I don't even particularly like litrpg. But it's free, and every now and then you find a winner. And I think this one deserves to finish the race and be crowned.
(Because it's on hiatus...)
SkarabraeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: The writer has a unique style. Their word choice is very good, creating the proper feeling the story needs at the moment the words appear. There weren't many literary devices that I could find, though, but I might be missing something. Still, aside from that, the story's style is absolutely incredible.
Story: The story is incredible. It's in-depth, interesting, and develops nicely. The characters are introduced when they need to be. The same can be said of plot elements and the setting, which is very interesting. The pacing is almost perfect. At the start of the story, it's exactly what it needs to be. However, in Chapter 4, the pacing is not as good as earlier. That chapter is pretty much buildup and a bit too low. Aside from that, I have no complaints.
Grammar: I couldn't find any spelling or punctuation errors. Any errors that exist are not enough to distract from the story.
Character: Aside from characters that are basically background characters, everyone in the story is 3-dimensional. They are all also realistic in terms of personality and behavior. They are very well-depicted as well. In short, I have no complaints whatsoever about them and like them quite a bit.
Andrew B. SalmonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is the kind of story you read when you're all alone at night and wandering about the things that dwell in the cracks between the stars. It's about the brutal spiral of despair and the crushing forces of incompetence writ large--and also about hope and the glory of dawn after the deepest dark of night.
Combining the best of magical girl influences alongside eldritch horror, Vanguard is a visceral and authentic look at light triumphing over darkness. Fans of Warhammer 40K will likely feel at home here just as much as fans of Momo or Sailor Moon (or whatever is popular these days; I fear I'm dating myself with those references). Expect big fights against monstrous opponents, back-breaking slogs in the mud, dazzling interplanetary wars, fun outfits, and the ubiquitous powers of friendship.
Can't forget friendships, even if many have a rocky start!
Definitely a big fan of the story so far, although it's not for the faint of heart. Keep in mind that character growth is non-linear. This is a slow burn novel. There are ups and downs--a great many downs--and no such things as easy fixes or overcoming just on the basis of grit and determination. Sometimes, we need to plucked out of the darkness, saved by someone more powerful and noble than ourselves. That's an indelible truth that guides this story, although I'm looking forward to seeing how the characters flourish on the other side.
Minor quibble: I'd like to see more protracted time with Liara. Other POVs are interesting, but they dominate the story to the point where I no longer consider her the MC. I actually quite like the other characters, but jumping between them so often breaks my continuity and immersion, and I find myself taking a break rather than binging when there's a POV change. That's purely a personal preference, however, and doesn't stop me from heartily recommending Vanguard. Five stars from me. Do yourself a favor and check it out!
Edge ValmondRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Story:
Now, I suppose we have all heard of the magical girl before. The way it is done in this one, is that it is more like a school really. Where they take tests and whatnot to become a magical girl. This being the societal standard for respect. I've had experience with the genre, but I think it was usually when it is a secret outside of a few things. In this one, it is a mix of learning while applying it.
Style:
I do not grade style. Though know, it is consistent and in third person PoV.
Grammar:
Nothing to my attention, this simply means it is good enough to where you won't have problems.
Characters:
The characters work well with the setting, and really does bring out the surroundings around them. They give off a normal feeling, which is good, while also leaning into the fantasy element of things. The way it is done is gripping, and makes ya want to follow along.
Overall:
This is a great story, and I'd recommend checking it out. For those who like the magical girl genre, but also those who like a well rounded story. There is fun here, and you'll be finding yourself getting immersed into it.
Larkspur WrenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Story and Character:
It's clear from the get-go that a lot of love and thought went into the world-building as well as character arcs. Liara the MC treads familiar territory as a reluctant hero who must grow in confidence as much as in power, but her decency and sincerity make her easy to root for. Her journey is enhanced by a supporting cast that promises delightful variety and surprising depth. Even within the opening chapters, there have already been some great side characters with more layers to them than their first impressions would suggest. I'm intrigued to learn more about them alongside Liara herself.
As for the deuteragonist Tanlon, trauma and bad vibes come for him thick and fast, and it'll be interesting to see how he keeps himself from drowning in the horrors of a senseless war while inching his way toward what I'm expecting will be a converging storyline with that of Liara's. I personally do enjoy stories with multiple POVs, and I think this author does a commendable job of keeping the voices distinct while making the stakes and tension in each POV clear and easy to latch onto. One hang-up I'll mention is that the early chapters don't offer many hints as to how the two main POVs might come together, and I can see this apparent disconnect being a bit jarring for some readers.
Style and Grammar
Little to no spelling/grammar mistakes throughout. For the most part, the prose is clear and competent, with a few passages here and there that are delightfully impactful. There are the rare few occasions where a sentence can become overstuffed with multiple subjects/clauses, making it a bit hard to follow, but these instances are minor in the grand scheme of things and nothing a round of edits couldn't resolve.
Final thoughts
Overall a high-quality product with just the right mix of trauma, dark themes, fun, and ass-kicking. In other words, a proper Magical Girl story! Excited to see where this one goes.
Samantha NelsonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is similar to the standard dark Magic Girl story where they fight against the forces of evil. The premise is interesting and has pulled me in. I'm enjoying it and the cast. I do still have a favorite storyline, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't.
Style: The general style is fine with one flaw. The POV shifts happen mid-story, often serving as literal cliffhangers. It makes for a jarring transition where you get a completely separate story on the other side of the galaxy while expecting something completely different. It may be off putting to some potential readers.
Story: The story is akin to most magic girl stories. It is a slow burn. The additional POV does make it seem a little slower if I'm honest. However, the other POVs are interesting.
Grammar: Compared with the site average, it's basically flawless. You won't have an issue with the grammar.
Character: The characters are interesting and fleshed-out. I'm excited to see the two meet up.
Overall, the story has a lot of promise. If you like dark magic girl stories, give it a try. If you hate multi-pov stories, this one may be a little struggle.
WheelsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Excellently written, with a fascinating array of monsters and characters worth following, my only criticism would be the Tanlon/liara perspective split, as in early chapters before hints of his relevance start to appear, it can feel jarring and frustrating wanting to see more of what happens yo Liara and being met with a Tanlon chapter instead.
BlenheimRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Extremely grim world building with traumatized/bullied protagonist. Warhammer 40k with added ingredient of the cannon fodder being teenage girls. Throw in some Paranoia style magical system and it is maybe a bit too gratuitous. Well written but not really my cup of tea. Maybe a Good aligned rebellion will show up at some point?
Agent SteelRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
The POV is constantly jumping around and ending on cliffs that won't be resolved for a half dozen chapters or more. It's not so bad if you're just starting but once you catch up that means waiting weeks to see that character again. It's the same thing Walking Dead did when it was releasing episodes weekly.