He Who Flew Too Close

Information

Status

Ongoing

Year

2023

Author

x_luminous_x

• Chapter 9
  Apr 7, 2026
• Chapter 8
  Oct 2, 2024
• Chapter 7
  Jul 2, 2023
• Chapter 6
  May 22, 2023
• Chapter 5
  Feb 4, 2023
• Chapter 4
  Jan 3, 2023
• Chapter 3
  Jan 3, 2023
• Chapter 2
  Jan 2, 2023
• Chapter 1
  Jan 2, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(9)

• B O R BRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I fell in love with this story and to be perfectly honest I am writing this during HIATUS. I wish this story would continue for I love it. I will  form time to time to know if their is a new one. I would love their to be. I like short and sweet reviews so this is it for me
• MelantheRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  He Who Flew Too Close could have been your typical power dynamic romance story. We've all seen teacher-student, prince-commoner, boss-employee relationships in fiction, and He Who Flew Too Close definitely is aware of these tropes, but what I love about it is that the author uses this dynamic to do something really fun- they also give the protagonist power over other people, power that queer people don't typically have.
  And that's why I think this story has the potential to be something really fun.
  It's not too long yet, and I am definitely excited for more chapters. I plan to keep reading, and may update my review at a later date to better reflect the story in the future. But either way!
  The grammar is very good, with few discernable flaws and none that distracted me from the story. The style is a bit awkward, though. There are a few exposition dumps, and the verbage can be a bit simple, but I imagine as the author continues they'll get a better grasp on fun storytelling.
  I really love the protagonist and his friend, and the current antagonist is perfectly detestable. I'm excited to see how the murder mystery plot of the story gets developed, and learn what ramifications it has on the characters and their world.
  Overall, I highly recommend this story! Thank you so much to the author!
• FalstaffRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  First of all, I love it. I love the characters. I love the mystery. I love the reveals. I love it, I love it, I love it.
  Sadly, the comment section does not pass the vibe check. Lots of people don't seem to understand the protagonist is a trans man (which was super obvious), and I think commenters are giving bad advice. This isn't a romance novel. This is a classic, pulpy, horny detective novel. The romance seems like a B or C plot.
  The real meat and potatoes of the story are all the mysteries. Who killed whats-his-face? Who is lying? What's the church really up to? What's Apollo's whole deal? These mysteries are all wonderfully woven into the narrative. Really top marks there.
  What I do not like is the tense. I think the past tense would serve your story better and is more conventional for detective novels. I'll admit the present tense prose felt more natural the longer the story went on, but so often you slip into the present progressive tense when the simple past would work better. But this is a stylistic preference. Lots of stories use the present tense, but you gotta be more deliberate in your usage of the present progressive. Often it reads as clunky.
  Grammar is a bit of an issue. Everything is fully readable. There's an easy sentence and paragraph flow. But little things here and there slipped through the first rounds of edits. I did my best to flag the ones I noticed.
  Overall, I think this is an excellent start, and I hope you write more soon.
• HitmarkRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Overall, I'd say it's a 5 star for me.
  The cover photo is mild. Not too shiny nor too dark. It just fits rightly and tightly. It's not as luring as the others. They didn't catch my attention that much. Maybe due to my personal preferences.
  For the summary, it's very eye catching. I myself am not very interested in mystery genre stories but that summary was splendid. Especially when you ended it with the "your God is a liar" it left quite the impact which is very good for catching viewers.
  Style. For the style, I like the way you show the story, the world and the characters. You dive into the details very nicely, although sometimes a bit too much for me. Nonetheless, it's all good. It really helped me immerse myself in the world. Over all there is a balance on the show and tell principles of the story. I also like how you set the mood. Some of the stories I read tend to go straight for the kill. The way you put the lightning crossing over their eyes really allowed me to visualise the whole scenario. Another good point is how you depicted the church as a strict place. This reflects in our current society the most which many can relate to.
  Story. The story is very much unique. Although, there are other similar supernatural genre novels, this one introduced their own terms and used mythology gods than the biblical god, which other novels often use. Also, as of right now, I haven't seen the main goal yet. I'm not sure whether it's to succumb to their desires or to reshape the church to what their god wills.
  Grammar. The grammar is amazing. I haven't seen much problems as I breezed through the story. Most of the mistakes I saw were about punctuation marks. It's probably just something that you missed, but it's all good. If I wasn't reading and observing that strictly, then I wouldn't notice it in the first place. The use of words though is a bit difficult for me to understand that I had to research a couple words. Don't worry though. It only became a problem for me since
• IndieOnlyRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  *** Will Update This Review *** <- When more chapters getting updated.
  The story revolved around the MC with his/her secret personal understanding of the God Apollo and a murder mystery within his/her church. Yes, the story might be a bit of a common trope, but the key is in Chapter 4.
  The reading experience gives me Paulus Somni vibe, but more on the steampunk style. I love the idea in chapter 4 so far.
  Style is highly readable, and no jarring errors on the grammar. Not gonna review much on grammar, since I might not be good at it myself. LOL. The characters are basic so far, the common archtype of murder mystery, you will get the political power grabbing drama in the church. But I guess the core of the plot is not in the murder mystery, but it is on the God they worship and what this God gonna lead them into. Probably the murder mystery just serving as something solid to start the story. I am looking forward to that.
  it's still too early to leave a complete review for this story. So I might update this review in future. The other characters like Rex, still need to read more about them in future for more of their development.
• BellaArtzRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  This is really the first story if it's kind on this site. I've read one other book that regards to the the trans community but I never really got it and so never finished it. This on the other hand got me from the get go. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a sicker for Greek gods (Apollo especially) but in all honesty this is worth giving a try.
  Storywise, it's doesn't look too special but the execution grips you, leading you through the narrative with passion, intrigue and energy. This review is based on the first for chapters that are available at the moment but I have hopes that there is more exciting stuff for us.
  The grammar is perfect so far, no errors in sight and the narrative doesn't get to wordy, each statement is deliberate and gives just enough imaregry to guide through the scenes though I would appreciate we were given more descriptions about the church. Using one's imagination when a simple location isn't hard but a reader's brain still needs some stimulation to get your vision across, to make them see what you want to see. Is it gothic style church or a more grand golden-pillars type place? It'd be pretty fun to know.
  Last of all, the characters. For now I like them. They are all simply okay and I feel unique personalities from each one. I'm hating the person I need to hate, a certain priest you'll meet (I don't want to spoil), and I'm ready to find reasons to like our main character more. Though I am stuck on why his name is so feminine as I, personally, would have gone for something more unisex if my character was trans but it's not my story and my opinion can be taken with a grain of salt.
  For now (until more chapters arrive) my take on this story is that it's definitely worth checking out. You can have your expectations going in but I like advising people to enter a story with a fresh mind. Kudos to the writer taking a bold step for writing a unique piece on here and I encourage anyone interested to give it a try.
  Ps, extra style points to the cover bec
• ProconRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Overall: An opening dream sequence that shoved my face into a God's sculpted abs.
  Confused? Don't be, because that's literally what happened.
  Secondly, (are you looking back for the firstly? There isn't one) I genuinely don't know how to acknowledge the story's opening. Why? Because as a straight man, I found it legitimately difficult to relate to the protagonist's inner thoughts and motivations right from the get-go. That's not great. But it's also not bad? As a writer myself, one of the biggest things I struggle with and strive to achieve is hooking the audience into caring about what they're reading. Luminous-x went bold with this opening. Not only is it a dream sequence, but it's also a sexually charged religious dream sequence that I feel as though would alienate many readers when it's the first thing being presented. I could be entirely wrong, of course, and I probably am, but that's just my two cents on the case.
  Now, I'm also not saying don't do something like this. The opening is dramatic, grammatically sound, well-written, and with decent prose that dances the line between Mature and Young-adult. So I absolutely would've been okay with a sexually charged religious dream sequence LATER in the chapter or even in the second one. But preferably after we, as the audience, are given some solid ground to stand on with regard to the main character and who they are. I feel as though this opening would have been stronger and more impactful as visual media. Dream sequences are notoriously difficult to do properly on paper because it relies on the reader's imagination rather than their eyes and ears. Anyway, I'm done harping on the opening. These were simply my initial thoughts. Onto the story!
  Story: A gruesome romantic horror murder mystery. 'Nuff said! Not a big of the genre though. Personally, I wasn't the most interested while reading as, despite the style and character progress, I didn't feel like I was being sucked into the pages as much as I'd like. I think it
• RichFRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  I'm not used to reading gothic dramas, horror, or romance, but I decided to give the genre a chance.  After six chapters I have decided it is not my cup of tea, but I'll review it based on what it is, not my personal preferences.
  The story begins with a boy's romantic dream, soon followed by the horror of a bloody murder in the large, isolated church he and other orphans call home.  The boy, Lorelei, seems to be a 'chosen one', but he begins draped in heavy angst and constant, paralyzing self-doubt.  He has romantic dreams of his god Apollo, who seems like, at least in the dreams, he might be kind of a prick.  The church has very narrow views concerning sex in general, and Lorelei's nature stretches beyond what it finds acceptable.  One of its goals is to hunt murderous were-wolves, called 'Lupines' in the story.  Lorelei must mature past his own doubts and fears to fulfill his destiny.
  Style -- It is written well, from Lorelei's first person present point of view.  This gives us deep insight to his feelings and fears, but this frequent, ongoing aspect of the story has often felt oppressive.  The story is still early, so there is plenty of time for him to mature and gain a decent measure of self confidence.  I suspect that  journey may be one of the overall points.
  Story -- There are several mysteries present.  One is the gruesome murder in chapter 1, another is whether his dreams of Apollo are real, and a third is the his relationship with others and even himself.  Will he be able to relate to people on a postive, self-assured note?  Will he find himself able to gain the courage to hunt Lupines?  Will he be smart enough to solve the opening murder?
  Grammar -- The story is written with a high degree of literacy and knowledge of English grammar.  There have been a few typos, but even with that, the narrative is of high quality.
  Character -- This is where I found the story to be weakest.  Lorelei is presented with unrelenting angst and self doubt, to a degree and dept
• ScruffedUpRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  I have been summoned for a review, and a review I shalt giveth!
  Now, before I get into this I just want to preface my review by stating a few things,
  A) I don't read romance novels very much. I don't enjoy reading them all that often and as a guy reading from the perspective of a woman it kinda puts a barrier on what I can really 'get', because I am a guy and straight. Abs and a strong jawline don't really do it for me, no offense.
  B) I was requested to do this review, and as such I will do my best even if half the things about the novel kinda fall out of my head as I read them.
  C) I have little to no interactions with anyting involving transgender people or their culture n stuff. My sister dated a MTF for a short while, and while I spoke to her for a bit, I can't relate to, nor will I pretend to understand anything about the process or anything else involving it. I am as out of the loop on this stuff as I can be. As such I am trying to be as respectful as possible with the review.
  Style:
  The story is rather early on, and as such the world is still being built. There hasn't really been any exposition about the world around it, and as such we know just about what is immediately around the MC. We have a church, that seems very heavily related to ye-olde-church of the 15th century or something, where homophobia and being very closed minded was all the rage, but we have gods from the Roman/Greek pantheons (I just know apollo from the GOW games) in it as well. It might just be a name, not actually referencing the god but it does confuse me a little bit whether or not they are related. The church is separate as far as I can tell, but still confusing. (I am not a theology major, if you can tell.)
  Overall, a little confusing but it doesn't take away from the story all that much as long as you ignore the gods name and act like it's just the name of the fictional god (as I have chosen to do until told otherwise).
  One of my biggest issues, which also impacted the character sco