God Within Us [OLD]

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

BigThink

• This Story Has Been Moved
  Jan 3, 2025
• (IMPORTANT) God Within Us and Going Forward
  Nov 2, 2024
• LVII: The Princess and the Serpent
  Nov 2, 2024

Reviews

Community Reviews(9)

• CKMoRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Overall: 5 Stars
  "God Within Us" has an unassuming appearance at first glance, but thoroughly surprised me. I started reading with a set chapter goal for the week and easily doubled it because I simply couldn't stop reading this intriguing story. Amongst the genres that are normally most popular in this community, the world crafted here is a breath of fresh air. I can't wait to continue reading this work, and I'm genuinely excited to see where it goes from here.
  Story: 5 Stars
  The story hooked me within the first chapter. The work put in to building the world was evident immediately. It urged me to read more, to learn about the diverse cultures, the varied lands, and which twist or turn was going to come up next. Things that start out as small questions become larger, then when you think you've finally got the answer, it ends up leading to even more questions. The pacing is at that perfect rate where tension builds, and when scenes reach their culmination it comes with a wonderful satisfaction of "ah, so that's what happens!"
  Character: 5 Stars
  I haven't come across a work with characters this well rounded in a long time. The protagonists each have their own unique personalities with detailed histories, and even one-off side characters are entirely fleshed out. The people in this story are written in such a way that I find myself genuinely curious what their reactions to things will be, rooting for them as if they were real live human beings.
  Style: 5 Stars
  The writing in this novel is good enough to match even the best traditionally published fantasy series. It's descriptive in a way that can really immerse you in the world, without dragging on and dawdling unnecessarily. There are perspective switches between the protagonists, and even some side characters, that are easily kept up with as the writer deftly weaves the character's thoughts and reactions into the story.
  Grammar: 4.5 Stars
  The grammar in this story is nearly flawless. There were a few instances of typ
• HWPerfidyRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  TLDR: Turkish/Russian esque low fantasy with steppe politics, a novel magic system and eldritch horrors. Mystery, intrigue, drama. Fantastic writing, worldbuilding, plot and characters.
  Update at chappie 33: BigThink is still serving, Vasilisa is still gaming, the story just keeps getting better. Author is also very receptive to feedback and even the few issues I pointed out in the review are being addressed gradually. If you like fantasy magic and politics and you’re not reading, you’re missing out. Also I made a mistake before it’s not mongolian, it’s more russian/turkish.
  Review at chapter 8:
  Where are the people? This is underrated as hell, and a real hidden gem on this site. As the other reviewers have said before me, it’s the quality of something I’d expect to find published on a bookshelf somewhere. Yet there’s only the same guy commenting Vaseline gaming on every chapter. But anyway, review:
  To be completely honest, at first when I saw the synopsis, I wasn’t too impressed. It was the sort of vague and mysterious type that most synopses are, and would be perfect on a published book, but on this site, it wasn’t very eye catching. It doesn’t really have many “this is why you should read this book” points that jump out at you, just a lot of ooh there’s a mystery here, what’s happening. I’ve seen a good amount of stories on this site that have a similar sort of synopsis, only for me to open the first chapter and be sorely disappointed by the writing quality.
  That is not the case for this fiction. In fact, I was very impressed when I read the first chapter. Good grammar, an elegant style, and from the narrative itself it’s very clear that a lot of care and love has been put into building this world and its characters. Admittedly, it might be a turnoff for some people, since a lot of foreign words, concepts and names jump out at you right from the get go, and since the author has chosen the setting to resemble the great Mongolian Empire, we don’t have a lot of pre
• HalfliteRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  As title of the review says, of the stories I've read on Royal Road so far this takes the cake for best story. (That being said, I've only read past the first chapter on less than a dozen titles, so take that with a grain of salt). It was quite difficult to find any faults with God Within Us, only minor nitpicks that honestly could be chalked up to personal preference.
  This is a very promising start to the story, I'm excited to see where it is going and this is a must read for the site. So far this is the golden standard for a full 5-star review from me.
  Style:
  The world takes place a fantastical version of the Eurasian steppe, and although my knowledge of that region is little, the writing brings it to life vividly and in a way that is digestible. Everything about the world feels lived-in and fully realized, with the supernatural elements being captivating and terrifying.
  Minor nitpicks: Some of the world-specific phrases can blend together since there is a lot of unfamiliar terminology, but never in a way that is a detriment to understanding what is going on. Also, the title itself doesn't necessarily grab the reader or highlight the uniqueness of the setting (I've yet to read a fantasy story that takes place in this region). However, these are both non-issues once you actually get into the story, they're just a tiny barrier.
  Story:
  The plot is still in its beginning at the time of this review, but immediately it is engaging. Writing a strong beginning to a story is very tough, and not only does this one pull it off, but does so with multiple lead characters. Both Vasilisa's and Yesugei's narratives set up their characters, history, and gets right into their conflicts all within their opening chapters. Shortly thereafter, mysteries are presented that have me intrigued and based on how some of the smaller ones have been answered already, the answers will likely be well thought-out and meaningful. It was very difficult for me to put down.
  Grammar:
  I only found a cou
• JonHRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  God Within Us is one of three fictions on RR that have impressed me enough to think it warrants formal publishing. The prose is immaculate, the descriptions are rich without being overwhelming, and the worldbuilding is just so that it isn't too much all at once. Characters are well defined and interesting, grammar is solid despite the dense word count, and chapter lengths never overstay their welcome.
  Where do I go from there?
  The writer obviously understand their story, and knows how they want to build it. For a great, but minor, example; look to chapter 2's opening and closing. Artistic and atmospheric are the words I'd use.
  There's a sense of occult surrealism to the writing that reminds me of the trippier writing of Michael Kirkbride at times, and Philip Pullman in others. I think the writer is taking us down a path that leads to vast and strange ideas that haven't been seen in fiction in some time.
  Overall, the first five chapters have impressed me enough where this story has wound up on my favorites. That really doesn't happen often on this site, but here we are.
  Big, I'm excited to see where you take this. When you hit the big leagues, I hope to find a friend and contact in you. But seriously, great job and keep it up!
• LarkenRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Is just a couple chapters along so far but has a very engaging start. I love the russian-khan eske historical setting, I’ve read only few books that had similar a setting before and they were great as well. Writing is of good quality and plot appears to be well planned and hints at an interesting rest of the story.
• Little RacoonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I entered the story expecting maybe an exciting story that'll quench my thirst for reading. I came out of it feeling my throat drier than before.
  Style: 5/5. Spotless. The perspectives are conveyed very well, and the writing in general did enough to describe the world but not too much of it that one would be overwhelmed. The initial confusion over the two separate situations of the protagonists is resolved with the two characters becoming physically closer to each other, eventually overlapping and encountering each other in the same space. It definitely shows the meticulousness of the author's care towards the story, leaving barely, if any gaps behind.
  Story: 5/5. For a story roughly set during the era of the Golden Horde (based on the worldbuilding), it's a breath of fresh air in the fantasy genre, feeling grounded with its ties to historical customs yet creative in its references to shamanism and steppe mythologies. The progression is slow and gradual, but not dragging at all, instead having each chapter drag the reader in further and further, posing more questions as answers are given. The potential for a very strong plot is high.
  Grammar: 5/5. No problems there. Sentences flow smoothly, paragraph breaks are placed in the right place, etc.
  Character: 5/5. The differing perspectives of Vasilisa and Yesugei offer insights into the world and also their personalities. While multiple main characters may put some off, it is absolutely essential for both of them to be there to properly understand the world and the story. Outside the main characters, the cast in general feel human as if one is reading historical fiction and not fantasy. Very well done.
  Overall, one of the best reads I've come across in RR, a gem to be treasured in the sea of fantasy. A breath of fresh air, I won't be surprised if I one day find it on the 'Best Rated' list.
• Wistful_WillowRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This story is well written. The characters feel distinct from each other and the world is fleshed out. Ages, genders, and roles of characters seem consistent with how they are depicted. I was especially impressed with the depiction of the princess. I thought she seemed very realistic.
  I also thought the backdrop of an Asian inspired world was done very tastefully. I'm actually Asian myself. I'm ethnically South-East Asian though, not Central Asian, so take that with a grain of salt maybe.
  I really liked the prose; the writing style is very descriptive and flows well. However, there were parts of the story where the pacing faltered so that there was more room for info dumps or scenery/character/item descriptions. I felt like they took me out of the story a little.
  I believe that info dumps should be avoided because it can feel overwhelming or boring. If the parts that explain history, world, or klan dynamics were more interspaced with action happening in the story it would have been better.
  I also think that based on what happened in the story so far (I read up to the end of chapter 2) that not all of that back story and world building was needed yet. It might have been better to omit some of it or save it for later when it mattered more.
  A lot of terms are also introduced that seem difficult to keep track of. Those might have been better to disperse more too.
• keeganashleyliveRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Okay, let’s discuss God Within Us by BigThink. Let’s just say that the ‘Big’ in ‘BigThink’ really lives up to the hype. This story WOWED me. I don’t say it lightly. I don’t say it just to be nice. I went in, finding the sweeping writing transported me to a world that vaguely reminded me of a Netflix historical drama and, yet, there’s obviously a very tortured, dark, magical-feeling twist in this world. Hooked. Line and sinker. Second, I found a female MC, which I am all about, but, even more of a perk, she was a powerful one. Not only trained to be a lady—she was trained with a sword. I love that. Real and personal strength. Finally.
  The writing is impeccable: vivid, immersive, catching, flowing. It felt like I was watching a movie or TV show; I could see it all right there, playing out in front of me. There were absolutely no grammar mistakes. The characters drew me in and felt like real people. The world only grows as you read. It’s fantastic, no two ways about it. I can’t even dock half a star nor do I want to.
  Well, well done, author. Way to be a rockstar.
• shallrenRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Seriously, why is something this good here on RR and not getting more readers?
  Clickbaity review title aside, I'm glad I have your attention. Don't go away!
  Let me present to you: God Within Us
  First of all, the tl;dr: If you're into highly descriptive, multiPOV, fantasy adventure and chapters that'll make you want to devour them, this is for you.
  Now, the analytical. As you can see, the style score has a bit of a swipe, but let's start with the good first, yes?
  Grammar: typo-wise, I've only spotted one, and that's probably the worst of it. The rest is simply impeccable. The flow of words, the word choice, and the delicate weaving of sentences just hit me right at the good spots. Not to mention the shift of formal dialogue to casual banter between characters are so good.
  Story: The information the author provides are just enough for me to follow the story along. BigThink doesn't dump you with the entire history of his world, but with only enough necessary history to get you started and help you relate with the characters involved. This also greatly helps with withholding key points which results in intrigue and mystery that simply makes you want to read more.
  Character: It seems this world of BigThink is too harsh for any damsels in distress and everyone must possess a strong will to survive. Hence, you can expect such strong people in this story. Don't let that give you the impression that every character is the same, though. You'll be surprised.
  Style: Now style. Why did I swipe away a .5 from style? Did I just think the story's too perfect and I just have to prevent a perfect score? Maybe...
  No, but seriously, the author has so much to write about in his story, I can literally feel him (or her? no gender in the bio) holding back to avoid oversharing. I'm guessing he enters a certain flow or a state of trance when writing (which I'm also susceptible for, btw...subtle plug *winkwink). This often results in big blocks of paragraphs that, whenever I analyze it, can b