ECLIPSE: A Complete Fantasy Novelette

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2022

Author

Aster Loka

• Expansion Update
  Feb 10, 2022
• Part Eleven: What Future We Have Bought
  Jan 12, 2022
• Part Ten: Risking These Charges
  Jan 12, 2022
• Part Nine: This Charge A Soul Must Bear
  Feb 9, 2022
• Part Eight: The Toll Demanded
  Feb 9, 2022
• Part Seven: Denying No Toll
  Jan 12, 2022
• Part Six: What Value Yet Remains
  Jan 11, 2022
• Part Five: With Values Cast Aside
  Jan 11, 2022
• Part Four: Some Costs Cannot Be Known
  Jan 10, 2022
• Part Three: Though Nothing Is Without Cost
  Jan 9, 2022
• Part Two: A Price That Is Yet To Be Seen
  Jan 4, 2022
• Part One: The Only Price He'll Accept
  Jan 3, 2022

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• AlexaLeeRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I very much enjoyed this story. It was written for the contest over a short period of time but does not read like something that has been hastily written. There were very few typos and the pacing was excellent although there were a few scenes that I feel could have been expanded.
  Style: The style was good, I had very few issues with it other than the fact that a few of the chapters could have been expanded more. I feel that the story would benefit from more description but on the whole, this did not detract from enjoyment
  Grammar: It was very good although I feel that sometimes commas were not used where they would have been useful to help with flow. Apart from that, no issues here.
  Story: The story is great. We are thrown into a world already in chaos. There is the constant feeling of pressure and panic which reads very well. There were a few very good twists that I did not see coming and were excellently executed.
  Character: I very much enjoyed the characters. I truly felt for the MC, Rubines, as he tried desperately to save the world from destruction, being ignored by those in power. The desperation he feels throughout is well written and realistic. However, I would have liked for the characters to be fleshed out a little more and for there to be more backstory included rather than just mentioned in passing!
  Overall, I think this is a fantastic story that is well worth reading.
• Consistent MilkRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The story is a straight up fantasy with a decent writing style. I don't know about you but I like fantasy novels.
  We are thrown into a world of elves and 'dungeon' monsters without much context, creating a sense of mystery. It makes you wonder what is GOING ON ! What does all of this mean? The world is dying, at least the world of elves that is, how it is dying is not clear from what I have read up until now.
  The premise itself is not very unique in the sense that we have a world ending crisis, and our protagonist is trying his best to do something about it, at least minizime the damage done. We see his determination in the first two chapters to do whatever is necessary against all odds. Nothing new and groundbreaking here, but what is new under the sun? Nothing, if you ask me.
• Cthulhus_WrathRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The story was a refreshing take on a world of elves and dungeons and magic, one where there was very little dungeons or magic, yet it didn't seem lesser for it. This was wrapped up well for the short story that it was, leaving me interested in the universe created by the author enough that I would enjoy a revisit through another lens or timeline.
  There were very few characters introduced, but they were portrayed well enough. From the start to finish ot the tale, less than a month passes, so no character growth would be expected, but some is snuck in there by way of referencing past grievances committed while seeing a friendship start anew.
  Typically I point out grammar mistakes found through stories in the comments section of that chapter, but I have not needed to do that with this story, so I was either to engrossed with the story or there weren't any glaring mistakes.
  I enjoyed the way this was written, with a sense of urgency and not following a power leveling mc or anything trope-like.
  I will check out the authors other work based on my enjoyment of this story.
  Of you are on the fence and reading comments to decide if you will read this, I say go for it.
• Detektive One_ChanceRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I loved reading this. The starting is a little difficult to grasp as they throw you into a dying world that needs saving. But be patient and at least read through first 2 chapters and you will start to make sense of what all is happening.
  While I found the naming of the characters a little cumbersome to remember, the main characters' name are simple to focus on. Absolutely loved Delarin. His "I don't give any f**** " attitude clearly shows how he really would not mind burning the world down for his own purpose. Although I am not sure about one thing, did or did he not expect Rubines to find him. Cos otherwise his whole plan would have been a lot more difficult to execute.
  The interactions between the both of them are important and nicely executed. The story holds a lot of potential and I hope the author eventually gets back to it.
  A prequel that talks about what happened between Rubines and Delarin would be nice.
• HamstaRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Story is short but fast paced. World building is good enough to keep the readers engaged. Takes the point of view of someone who would usually be considered a side character but is all the better for it. The MC's own powerlessness actually highlights everyone else's personalities/power/etc in a good way.
  Highly recommend reading this.
  1) it's short
  2) it's complete
  3) it's very fun.
• IAMAIRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  An escape-from-peril story. This won a contest.
  Fast paced, smoothly written fantasy. In the style of the pulp science fiction and fantasy magazines of old. That's a plus as far as I'm concerned.
  Chapters could be longer, especially in regards to the motivations of characters. Why somebody thinks something good or bad. But it seems author has already begun revising chapters in regards to length.
• KageTokageRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Short and sweet!  This was a wonderful little adventure that leaves plenty of room to expand upon the world later.  I can totally see another book set in the same universe.
  Not much of a time sink, I recommend giving this a read.
  Below is a brief musing related to the ending of the story, it isn't important for those who haven't read the ending yet.  Just a thought Mr. Fox.
  I wonder if they can expand/strengthen their newly created world more by absorbing the rest of the existing cores?
• KoboldPatrolRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  (story complete)
  The end of the world (or at least of country and society) is approaching, and Councilor Rubines wants to save his people. Not only wants, needs. Desperately needs, for what else can be done in the face of utter annihilation? But to open the portal towards salvation, he has to go all in. Rubines has to cross line after line as his desperation grows, because doom is getting nearer and nearer while obstacles accumulate.
  This is a very exciting story. The pacing is quick and thus does a great job of mirroring the MC's growing panic. The author perfectly manages to create a growing tension in the narration. This is done through quick scene changes and rather sparse descriptions. The latter is not a bad thing, it doesn't feel like anything is missing. It's more like there is so much happening that there is no time to relax and look at details in the surroundings. More descriptions would only slow the story down. Same for the world building, there is nothing but the here and now. Word choice is good and grammar is excellent.
  The story is told in third-person limited style from Rubines' POV and so we have a front row seat to his thoughts. This is an interesting special case of characterization. We don't learn much about the MC's past but there are enough glimpses to show that he was an honest and decent guy. Driven by necessity, his whole personality threatens to break in the face of adversity. But it doesn't break, we can clearly see how his naive personality gets a rude awakening and changes step by step. All for the greater good. (Ah, the infamous greater good!). The character development shown here is excellent. Almost all of the other characters only appear for short moments and while they have only one role each, they fit that role well and act in a believable way. Delarin is the other important character and while he too is only shown superficially, he really feels like the mad genius that he is regarded as.
  While this story is rather short, it is an
• MK bk-201Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Overall a pretty nice story story about a world who is about to end, which calls on to favors, betrayal, old wounds and more drama of people who do everything they can to save it, while some only want to flaunt their power or hoard wealth, i wish they would have expanded more on the Dungeon Queen and its origins but again overall an enjoyable read
• RydeniusRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Or, alteranately: When your only hope is an insane supervillian, the salvation you get might not be the salvation you asked for...
  Though short, this story packs plenty of punch as our do-gooder member of the governing council risks all to save his people and learns the truth about those he thought were friends and the one he made his enemy but now must rely on.
  Story 5.0:
  The pacing is fantastic, with early chapters giving a sense of hope and noble purpose that progressively  devolves into more extreme actions and gambits as the deadline looms and events spin out of control resulting in the final climatic conclusion.
  Style 5.0:
  The stripping away of all fluff and just focusing on the key moments that determine the outcome of the story creates a sense of desperation and impending doom that builds with each chapter. Even so, enough information is given by the end to piece together prior events that lead to the current crisis.
  Character 5.0:
  The main character's further and further abandoning his moral inhibitions in the face of urgency shows his descent into desperation as failure, inanity, and betrayal block him at every turn.
  The tension between the characters and their selfish motivations really comes through in the dialogue and actions taken.
  Grammar 5.0:
  Perfect. Not a single typo or grammar mistake found.