Dimensional Cores: The Raiders (draft)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Authors note: sorry for the grammar and inconsistencies. In the future I will fix many things. This story is meant to go on for a long time, so there are several layers of plots running at the same time. Thus the story might seem a bit too unfocused at times. I try to go by arcs with a bit of filler mixed in. I'm using this story as a way to improve my writing skills. This story was always meant to be fun with a bit of tragedy mixed in-when I'm in the right position for it. It can change and my goal is to see how many genres I can get. The whole thing has an anime vibe to it.

Description: Isaac - a 39-year-old gamer - finds his life forever changed when his PC malfunctions, transporting him into his favorite game, TEO (True Empire Online).

Upon awakening, Isaac discovers he is trapped in the body of his in-game avatar, a little girl named Aku. As reality collides with fantasy, useful items and skills turn into trash; some become broken, while others prove completely useless.

With his guildmates scattered across the vast game world, Isaac must gather them while grappling with crippling social anxiety and confronting multiple demons from his childhood.

Isaac must find a way home before Dave drops off Shadows kids and so that Luca can apologize to her family. On the bright side of things, time dilation has turned five minutes in the real world into an entire day in the game world, giving The Raiders time to figure out a way home.

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2022
Author: Dokeshi

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.7/ 5.0
Followers: 160
Views: 120,674

Chapters(157 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(6)

St3lla-MaR1sRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So this story is great, at least the first 20 chapters or so, the next 20 are flashbacks, while all great I like the fantasy more. Every character you follow is at the very least a broken, the every character is well written and the story just flows super nicely. The only thing that bugs me is that this story has SO MANY spelling errors, but is somehow AMAZING even with them, it baffles me at how great this story. The entire population of an MMO is transported into the game, and that isnt even the main focus of the story, this is a character driven narrative, dont expect a world with every single detail layed out, the world was originally an MMO. The gender bender isn't very important, but the changes that the mc has to go through are, the gender bender is linked to the changes, please give this story a chance, and keep reading even past the spelling mistakes and you will be in for a wild ride. Overall I would give this story a 4.5 stars out of 5 cause of how good it is written, but it would be greater if the spelling errors were fixed that's my only gripe with the entire story, and maybe the length of the flashbacks, those get a little tiring after a while.
UnteralterbachRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Great piece of art, the way the MC is portrayed and the other characters giving them reasons make them look very real, and above all how the MC act like a little girl and how even with a adult mind, can't really control herself, there are not many novels like this.
wk - pppRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It's still a bit early to review, but if you like stories with a slice of life, cute stories, and a bit of psychology, you might like this one. It also delved into morality and ethics. However, you might find it annoying that our mc acts like a child. But I can guarantee that it is a feature of this story since our mc is just a regular man transported into another world in a child's body. It was dampening his ability to process and conjure higher thinking skills.
Additionally, our mc is also suffering from his previous experience in life, which makes him overthink certain things. There is also the possibility that his in-game character is also affecting him. Which explains his current behavior
FoxOfTheVoidRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I got few things to write here, starting with the problems I have with the writing. There are a lot of incorrectly used words that sound the same when spoken. For example, the use of grate when great should be used. For me, this is not a huge problem, I can still understand the writing, but it still throws me off a little every time I read it.
Next, the flashbacks. As indicated by the warnings, there is some traumatizing content, profanity, gore, and sexual content. The flashbacks are incredibly deep and contain a lot of emotionally heavy content, to the point where I had to take a few icecream breaks.
Despite the strange word use and emotionally heavy stuff, there is also some light hearted adventure taking place in the game world, allowing a break from the heavy and deep stuff.
Last but not least is the spark the writing has. As long as the author continues to enjoy writing the story, it will keep its spark. And as long as it keeps its spark it should remain in my top 10
Ps. Forgive me for my trash quality review, this is my first attempt at writing one and I feel inadequate when it comes to evaluating other people's works. I still tried my best though.
Normal7615Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I see no need for showing us that the mc was a berserker. It literally has no impact since the mc is now a mage. I wont lie that I'm also personally annoyed about this because it seems like it's become a common trope; mage mc's. Even those that are not mages end up becoming mages. Either way, I think there was no need for the berserker origin if the author wanted the mc to be a mage. Also a lot of gender bender novels have their mc's turn to little girls. Are the author's afraid of their mc turning to a woman?
The writing style is good. The grammar is also good so you can give it a read. I'm just annoyed about some of these things that I've mentioned
Bobby jobbyRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
I liked this, the first few chapters at the least. It is written extremely well.
But
Holy mother of pearl this is all ick and weird shit sometimes.
The tags as of writing are:ieski Gender bender, M/F lead, supernatural, strong lead, adventure, fantasy, ruling class, grim dark,Anti-hero, Magic, comedy, and Tragedy.
This combination of tags are what drew me to this story. I love all of these things but I got to say this is not very good way of describing the story, and neither is this story a good example of the execution of these Tags(excluding GB).
The way the story is written it is well written enough to pull me from one chapter from the next but it doesn't give me a hyped for the next chapter feel, it's more of a grim curiosity. This story reminds of ShindoL's greatest work(Metamorphosis), grim curiosity is the only thing that keeps me reading this story as I can't tell if the mc's situation is the tragedy or if something worse is soon to come.
The comedy also is flatter than anything I have ever read. I'm stone. Not because the jokes are bad they would middlingly funny in another work it just the characters. The mc is literally losing his mind and his friend is copeing by making herself his partner. Sounds kinda funny but that really seems to be the only kind of comedy this is trying to pull off. Mental illness can be funny but when it's so up front it's not that fun. (This also mixes with my last statement) Is there mental instabilities supposed to be funny or tragic, because I have got to be honest it's not really working for either.
This story as suggested by the 'draft' in the title s a work in progress and I believe it. The amount things happening in the first ten chapters is a lot but at the same time very little. It's really weird how a chapter with 2k+ words can feel so empty because it was mostly internal monologue.
I usually don't write reviews unless something really grinds my gears but good damn you had to go for nine ? Why is it that strong lead is