Cloneborne: Mahou Legacy Kuron Uchuu Story!

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A (NOTLitRPG) story of magical girl clonesIN SPAAAAACEalien first contact story where no numbers go up! Once upon a time, on a certain dark planet called Surcease live the Kaedekin. Clones of a single magical girl, the Kaedekin have spent the last several hundred years building up from a single crashed ship and three thousand survivors into a planet-spanning civilization. It's been difficult. The life native to the planet is inedible, the heavy metal content of everything makes everything very complicated, the perpetual darkness blocking out the visible light of the nearby star makes everything very complicated, and the random kaiju created by the mutagenic void energies coming from certain spots on the planet make everything very... you get the idea. Oh, and every year the chance that they'll finally make first contact with one of the many space-faring polities in that galaxy that they've been listening to increases. Mahou Legacy Kuronu Uchuu Story is about to begin…!

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2025
Author: Shadow Crystal Mage

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.8/ 5.0
Followers: 408
Views: 49,134

What readers say about Cloneborne: Mahou Legacy Kuron Uchuu Story!

“Found this, read all the way through, couldn't wait for more. It kept a smile on my face the entire time. Only real issue I can think off is that the characters could use some time to get better defined: there's a lot of names coming at us right from the st…”
saganatsuRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“This story is so good at doing culture culture shock, which is one of my absolutely favorite tropes, and the incredulity of the confederation and the silliness of the kaedekin manage to not be grating, which is something I'm often sensitive to!. I'm super…”
SunpulsarRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

saganatsuRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Found this, read all the way through, couldn't wait for more. It kept a smile on my face the entire time.
Only real issue I can think off is that the characters could use some time to get better defined: there's a lot of names coming at us right from the start, then we switch to another batch of characters after the prologue. (the first batch of them having the same face doesn't help, of course)
SunpulsarRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is so good at doing culture culture shock, which is one of my absolutely favorite tropes, and the incredulity of the confederation and the silliness of the kaedekin manage to not be grating, which is something I'm often sensitive to!. I'm super excited to see where it goes, given the quality of the author's other stories, so I'm absolutely giving a 10/10 here.
dbdrRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
And on top of all that, its not slop!
I can tell that the author has an idea for the setting and likes their characters, strong recommend to anyone with an interest in science fiction where the science is soft like a cloud, but the rules are maintained strictly.
So, scifi that is hard where it matters.
ArkhamBlackRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A fantastic premise built on some really fun world building. It's still a very early story, but I'm loving everything I've read so far. This society of girls cloned off of one magical girl seems so well realized and thought out, and Im a huge fan of waht seems like the sufficiently analyzed matic system here. I'm eager to see more of this story.
HazelRuneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The grammar/spelling could use some touch-ups, and the perspective shifting is... not well-signalled, but the heart of the story more than makes up for it in my opinion. I am so stoked to see how this goes, even from only a few chapters into the prologue.
I aim to update this in the future, once there's more fic to review, but I think it's safe to say that it's got a solid hook.
MaltheosRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The concept - First contact between a planet( well solar system really) filled with magical girls entering into first contact with a multi species federation.
Both cultures make internal sense and are well realized, but the cultural incomprehensions are simply brilliant and well realized..
Neither side seems truly ready for the other,
SlothReader2000Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story is slow in the beginning but the details of a society of magical girl clones and their culture, belief, and behavior is really thought through. The characters of the magical girls are also very wacky and funny and all get along which isn't surprising since their all clones. It's their first contact that gets even more interesting.
StrangeSpeederRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Its a wacky, fun concept, loving every minute of it. Generational trauma that won't ever really go away on the super hero world magical girls' part, and a galaxy that has no idea what's coming. Even this early on, the suspense on what exactly will happen when the two worlds collide is killing me.
CarbonCopyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story follows a diverse cast of girls coming of age with magical powers. At the age of 13 the are given boost to their powers and a dark truth as they become adults officially. Every girl feels real and separate despite their overlap and every girl is dealing with their dark (literal and figurative) reality in a manner that is understandable and reminiscent of how one would expect a regular teenager to deal with coming of age.
Overall the story is super cute and the dark aspects are mostly existential, but the story is early yet for me. Well worth the read to me.
RedPineRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
It's a bit early on the story, but all signs so far point to the majority of the main caste being entertaining, ethical enough to root for, and adorable.
That said, they are explicitly inexperienced, emotional, traumatized, and Undergoing a ponderous but inevitable cultural revolution. Misunderstandings and mistakes, possibly serious ones, are likely, but that's just life.
Pros:
Warm family of clones who inherit the memories of a stereotypically nice but traumatized magical girl who was ethical and self aware enough enough to realize how messed up it was to turn herself into a clone army.
I... have not seen this premise before. Ever. PM me if you know otherwise.
Cons:
Multi POV may put off some readers. The main cast is relatively large, and the pov changes each chapter, so it could be awhile before the pov finishes rotating once.
To some this may be a deal breaker, but personally I think the pov shifts are useful in that they show the person beneath the social mask of the seemingly identical (or at least similar) clones.
Story is still in it's early phases. Not many chapters, all aspects of this review are tentative.