Book I: Brinus Helios - From Criminal to Hero [Rewrite]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

When Brinus Helios deliberately engineers his own arrest to escape a corrupt prison syndicate, he expects a transfer, not a draft notice. The Confederation Navy wants violent men who know how to survive. Brinus wants one thing: distance from the system that broke him and the lover he lied about to earn his release. But war doesn’t erase who you are. It magnifies it. And in a military that treats outcasts as expendable assets, Brinus must decide whether redemption means obedience, or rebellion.

What to Expect:

Brutal military training.

clashes with authority.

An interstellar Navy at war.

An ex-con fighting a clipping drug addiction.

Romance and betrayal in the fog of war.

Disclaimer:

This book portrays military life as it is, not how propagandists would like it to be. Civilians proceed with caution and brace for shocks.

Content Warnings:

Substance use and addiction, graphic violence, strong language, mental health, trauma, discrimination, military hazing, bullying, and police violence.

This Novel is for 18+ individuals.

Updates:

Completed

Website:

https://fisheradmiral.wixsite.com/the-story-of-brinus

This Novel was written by me, Fisher. All artwork is done by Fry, including the cover.

Here is a link to my novel:

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/85331/book-ii-brinus-helios-from-criminal-to-hero

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2024
Author: Fisher00001

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 125
Views: 16,690

Chapters(19 total)

What readers say about Book I: Brinus Helios - From Criminal to Hero [Rewrite]

“I like the premise of the story. I could see Brinus becoming a fan favorite as he and the story are fleshed out more. Some of it needs a little polishing but over all was done well. I think your writing will improve greatly as you continue and look forward…”
C.H. MouserRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Summary: it's a solid read if you want to sit down and go on a good journey with compelling story arcs and witty characters. Brinus Helios is -- without a doubt -- a rebel but in his own unique way. He settles down only enough and learns structure in the sp…”
Fry_WritesRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

C.H. MouserRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I like the premise of the story. I could see Brinus becoming a fan favorite as he and the story are fleshed out more. Some of it needs a little polishing but over all was done well. I think your writing will improve greatly as you continue and look forward to seeing the story grow.
Fry_WritesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Summary: it's a solid read if you want to sit down and go on a good journey with compelling story arcs and witty characters.
Brinus Helios is -- without a doubt -- a rebel but in his own unique way. He settles down only enough and learns structure in the space-faring Navy and how to fight in wars under his commanding officers and superiors. He often makes his own judgments and calls risky shots in dangerous situations, and is frequently reprimanded and/or rewarded in return. He has formed a family of choice and it's super endearing to see how he and his husband care for one another. People will come and go but there is always the core of his family and friends that make this story worth reading. There is always mischief afoot if not some battle or war, then sometimes there are internal conflicts and interpersonal struggles with addiction and PTSD.
The writing is good, though the rare typo may pop up, the storytelling and scale of this science-fiction never lose its footing for a good narrative. It's very much like a sitcom drama with action throughout and is an enjoyable read with every chapter as the world and characters constantly evolve in scientific, magical, personal, and interplanetary-political ways.
I recommend this one.
Liam BlackwoodRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This novel is very well written. Although there are some sentences that I feel can transition into one another a little more fluidly, those were far and few in between. The story, personalities and dialogue more than made up for any other mistakes. I also don't really care for the gay aspect of the main character, but hey, to each their own, I know some people would like that.
Style score: I think the author has a very interesting and unique style, but for me I think the author did the best with the dialogue. There are a lot of curse words used, but they enhance the tense and gripping emotions and personalities of the characters immensely. It also makes sense to have such raw emotions because the vibe the world gave me was a kind of depressive futuristic nightmare with bad bureaucracy and corruption run rampant.
Story score: I think the story is very unique, although its not exactly my cup of tea as I love reading ltiRPG more, this was very interesting and I often found myself reading without trying to see if there were any suggestions I could make to help the author improve anything.
Character score: Like I said previously all the characters feel 3-D and have gripping personalities. Especially Brinus, he has a brutal background, but I get the sense that he has hope for the future despite his earlier years going to kind of shit. He is quick to his temper, but that is what makes him feel truly alive.
Grammar Score: This is the only category where I feel the author can improve a little on. Also, like previously stated, some sentences don't flow together, but this is just me nitpicking what I think would work best, and those only disrupted my reading a couple times.
Prithak PoudyalRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This review was written after reading the first chapter titled 'Draft'. I may change it as the story progresses.
The author's style is one of the things that caught my eye. The way the characters within the Navy speak and the dialects that our protagonist presents is top notch. The author uses simple yet poetic wordings making the chapter and the subsequent events smooth flowing to the readers. However at times the sentences are too long stretched causing one's attention to dwindle. The way the writer presents his plot is amazing and the flow is fun to say the least.
Grammar and spelling errors are present however the author has ample time to edit the chapter in the future. There aren't that many errors to complain about and the grammar does not effect the readability of the book by any stretch. I am sure the author will edit the chapter soon enough therefore I am giving it five stars right now. It's hard work to be your own writer and your own editor, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it due time.
There isn't much to comment about the story till now however whatever has occurred is presented pretty well and vividly by the author.
Judging by his actions in the first scene itself we can see that the protagonist isn't just some dumb idiot and puts thoughts in his actions. He escapes the Syndicate and even joins the Navy with ease, formulating a pretty smart plan. Not to mention his antics, which are humorous to say the least.
Overall the story seems to be off to a promising start. It has me hooked enough to read and review the next chapter asap!! Give it a try!!!
Queenie IVRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Grammar Score
I barely noticed anything and the grammar is good!
Character Score
Oh boy, I wasn't expecting Brinus to be such a deep character tbh. He just seemed like a rebel that those things the way he knows how but after he joins the navy, we get glimpse about his life and development. He makes mistakes and the story acknowledged that, they don't treat him special because he is the MC and he also gets rewarded just as the same when he does good. Bravo to the author for this. I also love how the MC already has a love interest and there is no unnecessary triangle or miscommunication. They are both healthy for each other and compliment each other like a normal couple.
Style Score
The style and prose were lengthy at first but overtime as they story unfolds so did the prose, it didn't feel as bulky anymore and you find yourself sinking deep into the story.
Story Score
The story shifts between the intricate power plays of the Confederation and the personal journey of Brinus. I like his development from criminal to a Naval officer and his navigation with his trauma. His development also isn't quick, he is still learning. Also every chapter moves the plot never a dull moment, whether comedy, seriousness, plot development etc.
Overall, I highly recommend this science fiction. The author has thought well about his story and characters. Good job 👏
cosmic_lonewolfRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story has intriguing elements and a unique setting, but there are areas that need refinement. The premise is solid, with Brinus’s transition from a life of crime to the Navy being a compelling backdrop.
STYLE:
The writing style is vivid and descriptive, but it can be uneven. The scene transitions are abrupt, and some descriptions feel excessive or out of place. However, I have personally found the dialogs to be well done.
STORY:
The plot has potential, with an interesting conflict and a character who seeks redemption. I personally feel that the order of some of the scenes in this story could be changed in order to improve the pacing. This is one of my grievances with the story, as some of the scene transitions feel rough and the pacing is awkward at times.
GRAMMAR:
The grammar is generally correct, but there are issues with sentence structure and punctuation. There are also instances of awkward phrasing and run-on sentences that detract from the readability. This, I feel, is one of the few things that the author needs to fix. And it can be easily done with some proofreading and editing.
CHARACTERS:
Brinus is a compelling protagonist with a clear backstory and motivation. All the other characters are really good, and their personalities color their dialogs very nicely.
DarkWasTakenRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Hey There, Dark Here.
As soon as I read the synopsis, I must say that I became very curious about the story, so much so that I started reading the first chapter immediately.
I should note that, as the story develops, this review might change.
As I said, the synopsis attracted me a lot; however, as I began and continued to read the chapter, I couldn't help but notice several problems regarding grammar, especially with repetitions and conjunctions of sentences.
Furthermore, some sentences are disconnected, preventing the reader from fully comprehending the flow of events.
I advise the author to check their chapters once they are finished and evaluate how smooth the reading is. After doing this, you should be able to solve most of the problems mentioned.
The protagonist has not yet been properly developed, so I will wait before giving an actual judgment.
Regarding the style, all I can say is that I find it appealing. It's a bit ruined by grammar, but I’ll avoid repeating myself.
The story is still in its infancy but looks promising, so I hope I won’t be disappointed.
All things considered, this story seems to have some potential. I will definitely keep reading to see how it progresses.
GrumpsterRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
If this seems like an interesting story based on the blurb and such, then go ahead and read it. I haven't read the 1st book so some things may not be as impactful on me as it would on others, but I do not believe that this alone has diminished the reading experienced whatsoever.
I had spotted a few grammatical errors here and there, but it's not TOO major to the point that I would consider it a massive factor that diminishes the reading experience. The battles are quite succinct and fast, if you like that, whilst somehow also being filled with a lot of minute details that doesn't slow down the pacing of the narrative.
Jack0LanRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The pace is fast, faster than my grandma slipping down the stairs. It's like movie adaptation where you got the plot with no side story or some words filler. No you got only main dish, no side dishes, no drinks.
Plot is good. Yeah, and very straightforward. The only characters you need to remember is like 10 maximum (right now). Other than that you can skim through it.
VerbalRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Criminal to Hero is a story that I feel like you're either going to click with or not. If it clicks, it's because its message about succeeding in the face of trauma, addiction, and the injustice of prejudice resonates with you. If it doesn't, it's because the main character, Brinus alternates between being a raw nerve that lashes out at the world around him and a malicious junior officer that somehow keeps failing upwards. On the balance, it has some interesting things to say about the world, but at times it's not the easiest read.
The story follows Brinus Helios, who begins the story as a convict and is given a choice of joining the navy or rotting in prison, which is no choice at all. From there, we watch as Brinus works up the ranks and discovers hidden talents and powers while also battling a crippling cigarette addiction and a society that wants to keep him down.
I got anime vibes from this story, which reminded me of Fullmetal Alchemist for some reason. Maybe because Simmie is always angry like Edward and Simmie is the calming influence like Alphonso, albeit for different reasons. It's also very focused on Brinus's immediate reality, so some of the larger worldbuilding ideas are left unexplored or mentioned in passing, only to become important when they directly affect Brinus in later chapters.
Style
The story's style is a sparse blink-and-you'll-miss-it prose that says exactly what it means. It isn't afraid to dump the reader into a scene without context and leaving them to figure out what's going on from the dialogue or details revealed as the scene continues. If you just want a story told as fast as possible, this is your jam. I'm not that kind of reader.
It took me a while to acclimate to the story and had to re-read passages several times when I got confused over characters suddenly appearing, or time passing inconsistently between chapters. I eventually accepted that I'd never be anchored in a scene and adopted an attitude of "this is a thing now" whenev