World Breaker: Depths of Despair

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Update from the author: this story is currently being revised and in some places completely rewritten. While rewriting all this I have also begun to storyboard the sequel as I have tapped into some inspiration during my time fighting cancer and fixing what I felt is wrong with this story and where I would like it to go. Hopefully I won't be away too much longer!

Christopher Allen Smith is you average lazy high school gamer, with no aspirations for success in his life in Los Angeles California in 2023. That is until one night when EVERYTHING changes. Christopher wakes up to find himself in a fantasy land not that dissimilar to his favorite game Fantasy Realm Online! A world full of combat, adventuring, and MAGIC! This is everything he has ever dreamed about! That is until his fantasy world turns into a world of nightmares, when his mother is killed in front of him, he is taken and forced into servitude of his mothers killers. After years of abuse, torture, and starvation at the hands of madmen, he is discarded into a Labyrinth filed with powerful creatures. Hell bent on survival and revenge, he drives to become more powerful than anyone else in the world. His journey will challenge him physically, emotionally, and test his very sanity. What will break first? His sanity? OR will he break the world?!

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: LVLucky

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 121
Views: 56,019

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

DaijenaRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
So, how would one rate this story. Well, let's start with the simple things, the grammar is completly fine, easy as that.
Now, the story, pure edge, it is way to much. It isn't anything exceptional or anything, got some questionable "plottwists".
The characters are....the biggest issue, the protagonist is......it pains me to use the weird, but cringe really is the best description. Imagine what a 12-14 year old boy would find "cool", add in loud behaviour and unneeded swearing and the other character react in illogical ways towards that behaviour. Yeah, it needs some work.
The style is ok, it is fitzing for what I already mentioned, the pace a bit odd at times, and somethings are glosses over, like a bored teenager glosses over their least favorite lessons.
All in all, I expect the author to be fairly young and probably this being their first story, as such I shall give it a 3 out of 5
Just....try to zune certain zhings down a bit and focus more on the things you may not like to focus on, it can add in some flavor, and for interactions, try to emulate it in your head with a variety of people to make sure it wouldn't fit only with your own sort of friends.