Weight of Broken Promises [Living with a Traumatized System LitRPG]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A daughter of three powerful lesbian demon mothers must take advantage of her classless existence to defy the obligations and expectations of a traumatized system of magic. Sheltered from those who would struggle to accept her, Soleil must overcome her limited perspective to gather friends in sharing impossible burdens.

All the while unconscionable entities long corrupted by a broken world seek to tempt her into joining them in forcing change upon what little remains.

Love, friendship, heroics, and empathy all have limits. But what is broken, can always be repaired. Even if it looks different the second and third time.

Release Schedule:

Every Monday + Friday

As many Wednesdays as I can manage.

Weight of Broken Promises is an attempt at trying to tell a story of making a life in a hostile and decaying world. Expect an incredibly long story and a slow burn.

Relationships will be plentiful but often strained, tested, and outright messy. (Also queer. Did I mention queer?)

This is a story less about answers and more about making the most of desperate circumstances. Complete with a lot of feeling delicate and vulnerable afterwards.

Partial knowledge of most story threads are widely known, debated, and often twisted to suit agendas or perspectives. Most characters are working from fragments of an understanding or trauma most resonant to them.

[Participant in theApril-May of 2023 Royal Road Writathon challenge]

[Currently available to read on Royal Road and Scribblehub.]

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2023
Author: IreneFray

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 62
Views: 24,214

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

MynthioRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I find this story to be very interesting. The world seems lively and the characters are fleshed out. The only gripe I have is that it is confusing. The explanations are often either late or missing, and when they are given I find them confounding. Add to this frequent Name-Action mismatch, resulting in unclear situations, that is in addition to the times when it is already difficult to follow such as:
Now, where do we sign up? Assuming of course you’ll have us.”
Soleil and Maeve exchanged a look.
“Um. Here?” Soleil offered.
“Aster! Show them our credentials!” Fia shouted.
Why would Fia sign Soleil's registration papers or if not that what is this 'Here?'? And how does this lead to the credentials? Shouldn't that have been discussed already?
TelRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
Chapter One is probably one of the most unique premises and strong starts to a story. Then by chapter two the characterization gets very weird. It's well written, but utterly left field dancing around the elephant in the room, a dance that continues up to Chapter Ten where I decided to stop for the night.
The style is phenomenal with top notch magic, an amazing world, interesting tech, and a thoughtful depiction of three moms.
The story ....., the story isn't internally consistent. Despite the amazing start declaring Mana as an "aware" thing able to judge those who use it, and more interestingly omnipresent and can feel the pain it's ill use can bring to the world? It's not dealt with. Instead there is sort of a forced narrative going on that doesn't feel organic. The mothers agenda in the opening chapters is sort of the old debate on how do you beat the sin of pride. If mana is aware and omnipresent intentions matter, which puts the story at odds with itself.
Grammer is decent, might need to be edited a bit still as there are some wrong words here and there.
The character score, I don't like leaving a two star character score. The characters are interesting, how they are described is interesting, the opening chapters have a really well done family dynamic a lot of Authors never manage. But it comes off utterly wrong in context with the story. The daughter raised a complete and total magical innocent doesn't even blink at mana mortally wounded and screaming in agony. The mothers despite the "mana is aware and everywhere" stand are SUPER cagey on keeping the daughters opinions untainted by preconcived notions, despite their daughter being an adult with a decent amount of empathy. And then of course there is [Mana Detonation] used with full knowledge by the Daughter that it kills mana......,without a seconds hesitation. That one act stands in rebuke of the opening narrative,vanf by rights should see the Mom's efforts to keep her magically innocent ruined.
I'll update