Two Students in the New World(Dropped, will be rewritten entirely)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Leah is a mute girl.Matt is an unsociable boy.During their seventh grade year, they meet for the first time and a year later, they become friends.While going to the movies together, Leah sees a little boy about to be hit by truck and rushes to push him away. Matt follows Leah in time to reach her before she was hit. However, he didn't make it in time to push her away from the truck and they both lose their lives.Dying at fifteen years old, the God of Earth fishes out their soul before they disappeared from the world. The God wants to send them to the world of Arixar, a fantasy world with many similar features to RPG games.But wait! The Earth God is actually a she and furthermore one of their former classmate?Read as the two finds meaning of their life, go on adventures that will become their legend and most importantly, have fun in the new world filled with mythical creatures, gods, swords, and magic!Only Goddess of fate knows where their lives are heading.Konbanwa, boku wa Nanashikun desu. Nice to meet you all. If you read some of my chapters, you should notice that it doesn't exist anymore and the series title changed as well. If this is your first time, welcome to my first web novel. I went back an pretty much rewrote the chapters and they differ greatly from my original work. Well, my original work was deleted because... Well... It sucked.I tried to improve my writing and make a better character development. If this goes well, I'll keep posting new chapters, but if it doesn't go so well... Back to the drawing board!If you have any problem with my story or have suggestion, please let me know so I can improve on it. You can just leave comments or PM me and I'll try my best to take the advices.For now I'm deciding which tags to put in, so it might change later on.Cover drawn by me, but it kinda sucks... If anyone can do me a favor and draw me a better cover, I would be grateful!

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2016
Author
Nanashikun

Tags

FANTASYMULTIPLE LOVERSGENDER BENDER

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.0/ 5.0
Followers
172
Views
90,587

Chapters(22 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(3)

  • DanceHunterRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Well, I love this story. I hope you continue like this and not give up. Well, qeu if I have to say is I hope that you upload Momoe power, not wanting a mc op, but that seems a bit boring your Oneesama have much more power than her. Would have been good to have similar power and equal potential, but with the theme of dragon god dejastes to Momoe far behind. Hopefully there is also marriage between them two, and if you want to add some lovers do not complain.
  • KycomputerRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    writing style is pretty easy to followpretty good character development(expect more on "Matt's" emotional evolution later)no glaring mistakes with grammarSo far so good, I hope to see you really flesh this out and break away from the blandness of your fiction title and end up surprising everybody.
  • RotaRoyal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    First, a direct reason to rating for each segment, followed by a general content review(my new tidier way of writing reviews):
    Style - The story jumps between writing styles and PoV's like they are going out of fashion. This breaks the flow and makes it really hard to get immersed in the story. At first it is 3rd person, then it becomes 1st, then gaining elements of the author breaking the 4th wall destroying the last semblances of a contained story sequence.
    Story - So far the story feels very shallow and jumpy. We get a time skip very early into the story when the topic in question could have been achieved at a better timing with a flashback later on. The tags mark the story as; Fantasy, Gender-Bender, and School-Life. We get a very limited and shallow 'school-life' which I would assume is a focus for during their new life and not their old one.
    Grammar - Generally quite average for expectations of a new novel on the site. There are many lines that could be smoothed out for structure and flow, while there are quite a few appearances of typo's, misspelled/missounded words and confusing sentences. Overall average, but tilting towards good with a bit more work and more careful attention.
    Character - This part is unfortunately where I think the weakest part of the story currently lies. Just 4 chapters in but the introduction we have received for the 2 main characters is extremely shallow and unbalanced.
    The author attempts to have the girl portrayed as a kind positive girl who just wants to get along with everybody and be their friends, but she currently seems refuse to accept that not everyone will go along with her wishes. In trying to include the setting of being mute, the girl is looking as if she is using her disability as a means of gaining a universal pity-vote. It seems that way to me because of how she keeps bringing it up when it doesn't need to be mentioned (a justifiable reason for the boys initial bullying).
    The boy who originally seems to be a simple bul