tuesday's wildcard: Deuce
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Preliminary release of the first chapter ("Exordium") of Book 2 in a series. It stands essentially alone from both book 1 and book 2. Future chapters, containing the actual book 2 narrative, will follow when I complete book 1. For now, you have the book cover as an indication as to this book's content.
Series Synopsis:
New name.
New species.
New planet.
Now live forever.
Every Tuesday.
And only every Tuesday.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2023
- Author
- RichF
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.5/ 5.0
- Followers
- 7
- Views
- 516
Chapters(1 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- SheBopRoyal Road★★★★★ 4.5So, I've not read many LitRPGs, though I'm familiar with the concept, and this was an interesting introduction.
From a story telling standpoint I think you did a great job creating a fairly self-contained narrative, especially since that narrative encompasses almost 30000 years. I will forever cherish the mental image of the God of War and the God of Nature being on the same level as a guy in clown shoes and a squeaky nose. Also, the interface was hilarious. Having Hal or Glados full time in your head would be a ride.
The Clown as this benevolent entity offering shelter is really interesting if only because I think we have a pretty negative association with clowns and we forget that they're supposed to be a good, happy thing.
Conversely, narrative-wise, I don't know if we get enough of a foothold emotionally with Trebor to really care about his death, especially since that's the emotional heart of the story. We just don't see any actual interactions with him and our Clown. We just have the Clown's internal dialogue describing him but nothing that actually makes them feel close knit or bonded. It feels a little "He's a good guy, trust me, now feel sad". It's kind of the same with Quenton.
Of course, I get why we have kind of an abbreviated snapshot of these guys because they're not really the focal point. They're just the reason that the Clown wants to quit being the Clown. But since their deaths are the emotional axle everything else including the ending turns on, it does make the Clown's anguish feel a little hollow? And then takes away the sweetness of his request at the end.
On a more technical note, I think I'd just recommend finding some way to better differentiate between our protag's internal dialogue and his narrative and the interface's dialogue. It gets a little muddy sometimes. I get that the interface speaks in Comic Sans, but in a small font when I'm not paying attention to the font so much as just what's written that gets a little lost.
Overall, this i