The WORLD of Dungeons

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

""""DUNGEON CREATIONS"""" after of years playing this game, chris David a 24-year-old man having with out a job and always in his room playing the game. when the company announces that the game will shut down completely after it declares bankruptcy by the bank. he decided to stay in the game until the system will shutdown on its own, but after the allotted time, HE WAS STILL IN HIS THRONE ROOM, when he decided to log out. he opens the system but found out that the icon where the logged out is was not there anymorefind out what happen to him, as he finds the truth behind this event.PS. this story was inspired by the mystery of dungeon and overlord. you will see some similarities about its structure of dungeons, but I will try my very best to keep it as original as possible.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2016
Author
Bloodlust1912

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYVIRTUAL REALITYADVENTURESCI-FISUPERNATURALMARTIAL ARTS

Royal Road Stats

Rating
2.2/ 5.0
Followers
202
Views
124,139

Chapters(43 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(8)

  • summoner159Royal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    Last Apostle let him make what he wants sure he may take a part of overlord but he will only use it as his foundation for his story which may be in the weekly fictions later on
  • MorViuMRoyal Road
    ★★★ 2.5
    detail of scene was good, but you always make sudden jump of Character POV!!without there’s mark like
    ….
    [POV Kurinai]
    blah….blahh….
    ……..
    [POV Pitou]
    if you make it more good than sudden jump as you enjoy writing story!but you were ignoring your reader!
    so please consider re-write all chapter and make it more enjoyable to read!!
  • Last ApostleRoyal Road
    ★★ 2.0
    Avoid making a carbon copy of Overlord and you should be good. Also get a fuck mothering editor. You will need one, for as of now even I who possesses dreadfull grammar can fully make sense of this  nonsensical and badly organised work.
  • wraith26Royal Road
    ★★ 1.5
    fuck.. this is an blaspemy  to overlord... style and formatting is a garbage..scenes of overlord appeared here abd there, although i have no against copycat .. but you should at least make it the same or better that original.... pov changes is confusing... sometimes in first person... sometimes in third person.. its a headache...  and also .. make your font normal.. it appears so big in my phone..
  • gnarlytreemanRoyal Road
    ★ 1.0
    To be fair, I’ve only read to the second chapter.  So far, everything needs to be rewritten.
    So far the writing style is crap, it sounds like a mumbling ramble.
    The story idea, though copied isn’t bad, but so far it hasn’t been done any justice.
    YOUR GRAMMAR IS TERRIBLE, ALMOST NON-EXISTANT, YOU NEED TO REWRITE.
    The main character also sucks, not because of a bad idea, but due to the terrible writing style and grammar.  He has some backstory, but its written so badly.
    I intend to go through and spot check a few chapters and let you know how many need a rewrite......... ok checked every 5 chapters all the way through.
    The issue is, the grammar is very bad, all the way through the story.  It got better by chapter 25 but not enough for me to want to spend my time to read it.  Maybe try to copy other writers styles?  Almost anything on this site with a 4 or 5 star rating will help you improve your language skills so the story becomes more readable.
    Also, the lack of punctuation bothers me.  No captials at sentance beginnings, or no period, just one more thing on top of the rest.
  • TheNameOfTheWindRoyal Road
    ★ 1.0
    i really like the concept. I have read Overlord myself, and thought: this story have a amazing concept and story, why not make another light-novel, with the same start, and which also take place in a magical world. But after only reading 2 chapters, I can see that your ability to explain who’s talking and whose thinking, have many flaws.. There are times, when I don’t know if it’s third-person-perspective or if it’s first-person-perspective, who’s thinking. There are even times when I think (not sure) it’s first-person-perspective, but don’t know whose. The MC also knows way to much, without doing anything. He knows he is in another world without looking outside… And he doesn’t get slightly surprised, when the NPCs act differently (-___-)
    You story need a lot of improvement. But i love the idea behind it. Hope you improve, so i can leave a better review later (^__^) . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .  . .. .. .  . . . . . . . . . . . .  . .. .. .  . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .  .
  • CruxioRoyal Road
    ★ 1.0
    I'm a fan of overlord and i'm glad you made a fiction based on it.
    But please do a good job on it. IF the original author went on rrl and saw this he would probably kill you a dozen times.
    Grammar is a wreck.
    Style is awful
    Story sucks
    Characters are copies
  • menolousRoyal Road
    ★ 0.5
    i  rarely give reviews. even rarer is a negative review. but THIS deserves it.
    style: the writing style is exactly the same a Overlord... because it is overlord. I'm pretty sure author just read a chapter of overlord then re-wrote it for each chapter. also the constant p.o.v. changes get annoying REALLY fast. at least dedicate an ENTIRE chapter to character.
    story: the story is really great. totally original and a joy to read. well it was when it was Overlord. this is just another clone lacking literally ANY creativity
    grammar: English is OBVIOUSLY not the authors first language. I get that it's hard. learning languages SUCKS but if you're going to write a story in another language at least switch microsoft word over to that language. there are wrong tenses EVERYWHERE in one sentence it will go from past tense to present and then back again. the spelling is all over the place and wrong words are in every sentence. many sentences are just missing words entirely.
    character. I think you know what I'm going to say here... PLAGIARISM. it's overlord. the dungeon denizens worhsip the master the master has no fucking clu what to do with himself... it. it. Overlord.
    I've read crappy machine translations of Overlord that got the point across better than this. in later chapters the "influence" of mystery of dungeon comes into play... a little. but all in all this is just a piece of **** unreadable by anyone who has ever even heard of Overlord.