The Project: Planet Alpha

Aliens have no desire to get their hands — no, paws — sorry, tentacles — you know what, theiranythingdirty. They're snooty like that. That's why they use proxies to fight their wars. Some say half the fun is finding the poor aliens to subjugate and force to fight. But you know what? Anybody who says that are idiots, plain and simple. Because what follows isn’t just war: it’s entertainment for the masses. Nobody wakes up one day and says to themselves: “wow, I just really wanna watch a nerdy octopus sit in a spaceship and search for a new victim.” If they do, they need professional help. But without fail, whenever the new Project starts, it consumes all civilized (first-class, of course) aliens’ thoughts. It’s what they watch when eating Cheerios for breakfast. It’s what they hide from their boss when they pretend to work. It’s their way of life. And luckily for them, a new Project is starting.