The Golden Lance (rough draft)
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Book one of the Great Masters series by myself. This is copyrighted work
This is a raw unedited manuscript, I am merely posting it here on royal Road for beta reading purposes, please do not treat any of my fictions as a finished product, thank you!
Humanity colonized Mars, and it went horribly. After the collapse of Humanity's greatest colony, the survivors form a regressed society full of cruelty and a vicious cycle of violence to lead to an early grave and never-ending conflict for most people left on Mars. Born into this war-torn world of nomadic clans, slavers, gangs, guilds, and corporate private army, is a young man who was purchased as a child for a bag of rice. An odd man from the capital city enters the nomad camp one day with an offer the camp mistress can't refuse, propelling the Nameless Bounty hunter and his freinds on a trajectory that will shape the milky way.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2023
- Author
- Nsimon801
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.4/ 5.0
- Followers
- 20
- Views
- 9,875
Chapters(29 total)
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(3)
- Herald Of ChaosRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0A sci fi tale on Mars with interesting plot and mystery.
Style: I like the writing style and it feels very immersive. Details like how nameless felt while riding a vehicle and description of events taking place in pubs etc. Makes the reader feel like there are there themselves.
First person perspective from nameless is very well written and we can feel his frustration, anger and desire.
Story: Long chapters gives room for in depth world building and different locations, Weather and sky of the Mars etc. Are well defined all the elements of the story are well laid out.
Pacing of the story is good and it has sufficient environment details without being too descriptive.
The order of events makes it easier to get into the plot and keeps the reader engaged in the story.
Grammer: There are almost no mistakes in the grammar and readability is very good. Full score
Character: Through the short introduction and conversation, various traits of the characters are well defined.
Although not much background information of Nameless is written as of now(Ch-2), Reader can guess his feelings and thought process through his actions and the same is true for other characters.
I personally find it more interesting to slowly discoverer about the past and intricate relationships between characters through their interaction rather then just plain paragraph describing them, and author did a good job doing this.
Overall a good story filled with Sci-fi elements and Adventure, with a well laid out foundation. - InfinityphoenixRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0Long chapters, lots of words, and good worldbuilding. I like it.
Style: Definitely portrays the feel of a gritty society of vagabonds and scavengers. Nice descriptions while also not seeming too complicated that they theme of the story doesn't come across. I like how details about the protagonist are revealed gradually as other people interact with him. Also, over 5k chapters.
Story: Cool setting. Feels slightly strange to me that they colonised mars in a way that resulted in this, and somehow have breathable air there, but I probably need to read more to discover why. The first three chapters set the theme well and get straight into the beginning of the main plot.
Grammar: Some ocassional mistakes. Not enough to ruin the story in the slightest, but still present.
Character: Not much is known of the protagonist's past besides the fact he was bought by the camp to work for them. He's a well-known bounty hunter, but how he managed to get to that level hasn't been explained yet. It may be that it will be revealed later, but besides this point, all the characters have... well, character, and clear, fun personalities.
Overall: Great sci-fi! It's nice to see someone doing it without LitRPG. I like the whole cool glowing compound that gives supernatural abilities thing. Stories where the protagonist recklessly drinks unknown substances with mysterious effects are always interesting. This one is full of potential. - The Reality Next DoorRoyal Road★★★★ 4.0I had a great time reading this book until this point and I will surely continue, even though, I have usually no interest in reading sci-fi books.
The style of writing is a bit frantic, but I loved it, there was one chapter called Plans Gone that might need some attention since something went wrong with the layout.
The grammar had the occasional mistake, but nothing too major or bothering, I lowered the rating by 0.5 stars since the chapter of no Plans Gone seems to have fused, making it hard to read. Some grammar issues can also be found in the description of the book, which might be off-putting for a few people. Like milky way is written like Milky Way, or the fact that freinds is spelled wrong.
And this one bothered me the most, the description says this,
This is a raw unedited manuscript, I am merely posting it here on royal Road for beta reading purposes, please do not treat any of my fictions as a finished product, thank you!
But it has to be this,
This is a raw unedited manuscript, I am merely posting it here on royal Road for beta reading purposes, please do not treat any of my fictions as finished products, thank you!
The story is fun, it is about a Marsian, is that a word, or is it Martian?? I don't think the MC has a name since he is referred to Nameless a lot, a bounty hunter with a mysterious past, and glowing vials of weird stuff.
I did enjoy the characters, and I see a lot of potential in later chapters for character growth, slow and steady.
Even for me, who does not like sci-fi, I had a great time reading so far. If you enjoy sci-fi, then you can't go wrong with this book, and I am sure the chapter with the strange lay-out will be fixed, along with a few grammar problems. We all know how hard it is to fight grammar. Once those issues are hashed out, I will also raise my score a little.