Description

Five people live in a clan living their average life, unknown to them that it's about to be destroyed and they leave to lands beyond they're mountain range by the ocean that no-one has ventured to in thousands of years. In the hopes of being strong enough to defeat the thing that destroyed their home.

Community Reviews(1)

Aleth08Royal Road

★★★★★ 4.5

Story:
The story is still in the very early stage, so its hard to really judge it, but the main problem became the delivery. I'm pretty sure the author has a great story in his mind and he wants to put it down into words, but he's struggling with it. I'll still give him the benefit of the doubt here though, it could get much better with more chapters and as the author gains more experience. Hope my criticism can help him in any way. One major problem I would say is that the names seem to be a mix of chinese and english words, and that makes it quite jarring to read, a glossary will certainly be a big help in this case.
Style:
This and the grammar are where the book struggled the most. If I am to be blunt, the writing seems like a very rough zeroth draft, it needs heavy editing. Missing punctuations, from commas to full stop to question mark, and it kills the voice of the sentences. Then the tense switches from past to present mid narration. And the perspective also switches from third person to first person out of nowhere. Because of this too and incorrect grammar, the dialogues become awkward, it becomes almost a chore to understand what the character is trying to say. Another point would be the wrong quotation marks used in dialogues when ending them. And a minor addition to this--the character's thoughts and direct speech is presented in the same way, both under quotation without italics, it can be confusing.
Grammar:
Like I said in the style category, this is the bit that the book has struggled the most. To the point that it hindered the delivery of the story. It seems like this is the author's first book, so he can only improve from here on. If he can fix the problems plaguing the story, his writing will certainly shine. But as it is, its hard to score it high.
Character:
This was a strong suit of the book, author tried to give the characters depth with their conversations and actions. But again, it is bogged down by the major problems. If it was allowed to dev

The Five

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Chapters(34 total)

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Community Reviews(1)