The fallen (?) hero and Aži Dahāka's soul fragment

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

I have to apologize.A certain real life problem that I thought I got rid of has caught up to me once again.I tried to continue writing, but my mind was not in the right track to do so and thus, as some people had said, the quality of the latest 2 chapters had turned from the usual "bad" to "worst".

So, I reluctantly have to say that I will be away until I can sort things out.I can't say when, but I do intend to return to writing.

I might lurk around to read other people's works though.

I will be turning my attention to stories with "tragedy" and "despair".

The five of us were summoned to this world from our clubroom two years ago to be made as heroes.Shouldn't forceful summoning like that be counted as kidnapping?Well, we chose to go with the heroes route.After harsh training and battles, not to mention all the killings, we finally defeated the demon lord.However, all those achievements literally became nothing, it wasn't just forgotten, it was erased to be totally nothing as even the written records were somehow being disposed of.

I was too naive. Who would have thought that the side we have been fighting alongside with, the side we were fighting for, was the one to bring our demise?After I had to see everyone else turn into nothingness, somehow... I alone survived.

Note: I will attempt to fix the grammar problem with the help of lieutenant colonel fletterman. This may delay the release of future chapter.

Chapter 1 is fixed.

Chapter 2 is fixed.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: Karisu

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.9/ 5.0
Followers: 85
Views: 53,381

Chapters(28 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(4)

skaviouzRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So I had lots of text, then managed to control-r when I meant to open a new tab and lost what I typed... I'll just make simlified bullet list because it'll look better...
I think the title is fine, I've read other titles from good authors where the title didn't make sense until 100+ chapters in... It's just a difference in pace imho, and I get the title because it involves the true enemy of the otherworlders. I mean, it's the whole reason the MC became "fallen" in the first place, if you catch my drift...
I like the stability that Liz brings as emotional support. I don't think our MC is a coward that needs to be ridiculed. Serial killers in prison cry when their wives divorce them in real life... So just because our MC is an adult when it relates to matters of being a soldier doesn't mean he's an adult in matters of relationships...
It feels like those 2 human weapons just got added as extra characters to add more people to our MC's group of elites. I know that isn't the case, but after hearing the prophesy that there are 3 others... I feel those 3 were definately planned to be added just to add more powerful allies... There are people that even say that they are suprised he didn't come to the tower with the firepower that would have been provided by them.
The lack of information about the demon race's side of the conflict. You are providing POVs of different kingdoms on the human side, but not the demon's side. I personally think if you do one side, do both.
Lack of demon race's political information, can relate to the above bullet. How has that demon girl and the 2 others been since their resuce by our MC pretending to be a demon.
Further development related to Lavinia vie rifst. Some people from the tower indirectly mentioned a kingdom named Eldarifst.
Who is praesia? And why does the azi dahakas soul fragment (this is me assuming at this point btw) pretend to be praesia? Unless Praesia is actually a double agent or has split personality? Is that related to soul
AwkaneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I am loving this story right now, i just hope that will not have harem though, but the way the story is going i think that its hopeless to think that LoL
ToBeAndNotToBeRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Alright, so first impressions, before I've even started reading. I'll update when I've completed this so as of right now, this is only based off what I've seen before reading. The fishing line and bait, in other words.
I saw that you have a writing block, and since I've had the same problem in the past, I'll let you know my perspective as I go through this. Whether or not this data is helpful to you is for you to decide. I certainly hope it is.
The first impression I had when I saw the cover and the title on the home page was "what the fuck, is this some sort of meme?" Look, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but that was my legitimate thought. On the front page, the icons are relatively small, so you can't go detailed. You need something that is simple. You need a symbol. If you choose to go with two characters, at least have them take up most of the space in the picture. Having white space is a big no no, and it just looks bad, which brings me to the next point: have a background in your picture. White stands out like a sore thumb on my dark theme, and in a bad way too. So basically:
1. Simplify details in your picture, fix it so both characters are (hopefully if desired), aligned vertically. Eg. The characters have really detailed hair, but when you look at the tiny picture, it blurs into the skin (one character's seems to be pure white too).
2. Add a background. NO WHITE.
3. Make your title bigger.
4. Use brighter colors in general.
Now to move on to your title. What the hell. A title serves the purpose of attracting attention and labeling your work. What the hell is an 'Aži Dahāka?' Damn, like just leave it as 'The Fallen Hero' or something. No need to put your whole story into your title. Keep it simple. Simple is best, simplicity is key.
The next thing I noticed was that your story is pretty long, roughly 240 pages over 10 unnumbered chapters. NUMBER YOUR CHAPTERS. When I read through the latest releases, I like to know how many chapters they have. If the
jehuty0o1Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0

Have to say, your male lead is annoying as hell. Hate the fact he's such coward and won't be honest at all... the emo cliche is real. I've been getting irritated by the hiding of things from Liz thing. Now he bitches out with the Lavina thing... Why do authors never write about mature characters that actually allow other characters to make their own decisions? I get that he's a teenager, however he's been fighting in a war for a year or two... has a mentality that allows him to easily kill people, that would generally make people mature.
Other than your male lead i've been enjoying the rest of your story thus far. So i'll keep reading for as long as I can tollerate him. At least the other characters haven't been annoying. Though the whole getting tricked and killed thing at the start was quite retarded. I mean they practically just closed their eyes, put their hands over their ears and screamed lalalalalala... no fkn way anyone would be that stupid.