The Fallen Eden. (Story collection)

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

Jureka

• Forbidden Paradise "where the world leads me"
  Apr 1, 2024
• Eternity Forever
  Mar 25, 2024

What readers say about The Fallen Eden. (Story collection)

• “This book does not seem to be a single narrative but rather a collection of varied short stories. Each one is unique and has its own concept and main character. Characters portrayed in the text are distinctive, each with their voice. The grammar seems fine,…”

  WilliamGabriel10Royal Road5.0 / 5

• “Well, honestly speaking this is still worse than most of the one shot novels that I read. The grammer mistakes was not that horrible, and maybe, no not maybe I am offed by the story. It feels like he left a lot of parts unclear and the story is just weird.…”

  Son of LifeRoyal Road4.0 / 5

Reviews

Community Reviews(7)

• WilliamGabriel10Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This book does not seem to be a single narrative but rather a collection of varied short stories.
  Each one is unique and has its own concept and main character. Characters portrayed in the text are distinctive, each with their voice. The grammar seems fine, so far as I can tell. Sometimes, the text can become a little hard to understand. But this is a side effect of a rather clever surreal tone to it all.
  Most of the chapters are fairly short and manageable, so it is an easy read.
  Overall, I recommend it.
• Son of LifeRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Well, honestly speaking this is still worse than most of the one shot novels that I read. The grammer mistakes was not that horrible, and maybe, no not maybe I am offed by the story. It feels like he left a lot of parts unclear and the story is just weird. It would have been so nice if he would have explained a bit more. But, since this is written as story collection maybe I'll get my answers or maybe I'll forget this even existed.(edit) okay so I re-read the story and it improved quite a bit in grammer this making it only worse than 50 percent of the short story I have ever read.
• Athen_Royal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  "Eternity Forever" is an intriguing introduction to what could be an epic tale. The story's core concept is captivating and thought-provoking, brimming with potential for grand development.
  Style (4/5): The author establishes a distinct style, but there are occasional instances where the flow becomes choppy. Refining the execution could elevate the style to a truly masterful level.
  Story (5/5): The story's core is its greatest strength. The concepts introduced are imaginative and spark curiosity. As mentioned earlier, this story possesses the potential for a truly epic saga, and I'm eager to see where the author takes it.
  Grammar (3.5/5): There are occasional grammatical stumbles, and punctuation could be improved in some areas. However, these issues have a minimal impact on the overall reading experience.
  Characters (4/5): While the cast is limited in this initial story, primarily focusing on the protagonist and Raphi, the author effectively fleshes them out, allowing the reader to connect.
  Overall (4/5): The ending is my primary critique. The arrival of the angelic being (possibly God, though this remains ambiguous) offering the protagonist a place among the angels, followed by their abrupt refusal, feels rushed. This pivotal moment deserved more elaboration and emotional weight.
  Despite this shortcoming, I found "Eternity Forever" to be an enjoyable read and would certainly recommend it to others.
• Glory To The KingRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Overall it was not a bad read. Well for starters I was not disappointed by the story as I didn't had any expectations. Now the review part, I would have rated it higher if the author had explained more of what is Chaos and what is this Great Eye.
  No2. There is a problem with the story, so the Priest accused Raphi of being a witch since she rejected the Priest offer of something sussy but, it was never explained how he persuaded the villagers or like how did the world's of the Priest giving false accusations spread after his death.
  In conclusion this writer is still inexperienced and would surely improve one day.
  Edit part, so the author explained some of the things I was confused with in the post story part, though not that satisfactory it still deserves half a star extra to take my advice. In the end my thoughts are that the author is improving slowly though he should also edit his previous story that was way more horrible than this. What I like about this story was that, though the story takes cliche that are like over saturated, it still somehow gives a fresh fell. Only if the Writer was not a complete beginner the story would be much more promising.
  . I would like to know the thoughts on this story by the perspective of other fellow readers.
• ATristeRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  So, this will be a mixed review.
  The Good:
  The premise of the story is actually fantastic. If this, I'm guessing this is the prologue, was fleshed out properly it could be a fantastic novel in its own right. So props to you for that, your prologue is thought-provoking, it actually reminds me a little of 'To Your Eternity' (it's a very interesting anime; if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it). The second upload is far more choppy, I see the direction you want to take the novel, and I think the direction is perfectly fine. However, the chapters and the world need to be more... fleshed out? I think that the thought and emotions you tried to convey with your character in the prologue are a lot stronger than the ones in the next chapter. Sidenote: Try to expound more on the wolf's positive feelings (love, care, worry, pride, etc.) you can use the positive feelings to highlight the despair felt during each of Raphi's deaths. That will help get the reader more invested in the character. Regardless, your imagination is impressive. Once you've fully crafted this story and world I'll be excited to read it.
  The Bad:
  The grammar and punctuation are somewhat lacking. The sentence structure in the very beginning of the prologue is really good and the readability is quite high. It falls off dramatically near the end of the prologue. I think that may be because you seemed to be struggling to put all that you imagined into words. That happens to me a lot as well. I think it's the hardest aspect of being a writer. Sometimes you just have to play with the structure of a sentence or passage until it sounds like something you fluid. So, just run through the permutations of what you want to say until something sounds right. Play with the words, your thesaurus will be your best friend, and try to keep a consistent tone of voice for a character in your mind. The more lifelike your world is to you the better you can write it out.
  All-in-All:
  It's not bad. It needs work. Do not give u
• LacunyktRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  [This review was spurred by a forum post.]
  This review is also based solely on Eternity Forever, since Forbidden Paradise is a compilation of another fiction entirely.
  Overall, the short story is good in theory/concept, and just falters somewhat in execution. It's a bit confusing to read, and the grammar/syntax/structure errors only further muddle it. It feels a bit like things got put into a blender and then mashed back together. However, there's a pretty good skeleton to it. The concepts are intriguing and the plot points are creative. The author simply makes some odd writing and stylistic choices. I wish there was more detail and more clarity. I understand the sort of esoteric nature of the story, which is an absolutely fine thing to have, but the impact gets lost when there isn't enough narrative consistency for readers to grasp.
  Still, the author definitely has the imaginative mind for writing! With some more polish, I'm certain that Eternity Forever could be something really special.
• MorsmordreRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  I found the premise very interesting and it's a very good idea. It felt as if you were talking to the page rather than structuring it correctly. For example I felt the beginning was good but there were too many short fire sentences making it very stutters and difficult to read. The parts after the person was with the human and wounded felt like they could and should have been separate chapters and elaborated on in a much more structured way. It was as if you had an idea and put it straight onto the page rather than writing down the idea and then elaborating on it further.
  Please don't take this as a huge criticism as this is exactly how I draft my novels too! Maybe have a look at writing tips on YouTube and tiktok and they should help? Overall an interesting premise and I want to read more about what happens after the Chaos ends.