The Crux of Human Suffering

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Braxton finds himself in a life or death struggle with a disease in his everyday life, but during his dreams wildly painful struggles and fantastical wonders await his every move.The great mystery of the other world eventually hits a peak as he finds himself able to stay in the dream like world. What is happening? Why is the dream so realistic?Can Braxton finally find meaning? Or is he doomed to a life of Regrets and Anguish?Author Note*I promise to push myself as a writer, and you as a reader. It means I'll make mistakes, but it also means you will never read another story like this.SUPER PRESTIGIOUS MEGA CLUB I AM APART OF!The Order of Phantasmal Architects

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2015
Author: edge363

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 239
Views: 109,518

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

kaelrabeloRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is a really awesome story.I cried , i laughed, it just sucked me in plz keep up this awesome work
F.DjRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I wanna say something that made me looks like smartass,, but I have none,,,I just love it. And I think my manliness is starting to withered away, I actually shed some tears at chap 3. Damn you author, damn your exquisite story,, I really love it. Now just continue writing and eat my five divine cookies. Oh my manliness,... T_T
srogazimaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Author’s writing talent is at really good level in comparison to most fanfics on this site
What happed ? A real life ? I would like you to post new chapters. Please
LuciferiaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This review is current as of January 18th, 2016. Edge363 volunteered to be reviewed/critique by his follow members @ The Order of Phantasmal Architects!
So, I read Chapters 1 – 17.5 in one sitting. I’m going to touch on a few matters in a general sense – picking out every little misspelling or incorrect grammar/etc would make any post way too long.
Overall I like the story so far. +1 follower for you.
First Impressions – Fiction Page
I think your description/synopsis could use some work – it tells us a little too much information about the story. For me, there isn’t enough mystery to it to pull me in and make me want to read it. There’s also some minor spelling/grammar errors.
“The only thing worst than the alternate world is Braxton’s real one. Watch as he slowly makes friends despite his condition, finds love, and most importantly, satisfaction.”
^Should be, “The only thing worse than the alternate world[…]”
The Chapters
Honestly, the polls every chapter really distract me. When I click on a chapter, I want to be drawn to the first paragraph of the story, not a potentially spoiler-y poll (ex. the ones you mention potential crying). I can understand the need/appeal for polls, I just don’t think it should be every chapter.
More than anything I think that’s just a symptom of how the website itself structured – not necessarily author error. While we have ways to talk with our fans or get feedback etc, we kind of have to risk either interrupting the flow with a poll that most likely won’t make sense until the end of a chapter – or we have to consider interjecting polls or discussions between chapters.
ASIDE FROM THE MATTER OF POLLS:
Like I said in the chatroom, polishing up your earlier chapters (spelling, grammar, nothing major) should go a long way to drawing in and hooking new readers. It will improve flow. People are more likely to stop reading if they have to stop and be like “Hey wait a minute! That doesn’t seem right.”
Overall I’m only seeing minor things that n
Monsoon117Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The storys's dialogue is the story's greatest strength along with its original characters. The scenes aren't forced, and the story has an interesting premise that executed pretty well.
All in all its a joy to read with its fair share or funny, sad, and epic moments. Very few fictions on this site have any real, genuine strengths. This actually has some really touching scenes.
I Really enjoyed Braxton's witty conversations as well as some of the action scenes. If you could post some illustrations or maybe a map. that would be pretty awesome.
I would really recommend reading this. MIST CREW UNITE.
wohlzyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I wonder if someone is going to fix my damn roof, It’s annoying to have water dropping on my face while I read !
What can I say beside that I love this story.
Even if it’s an amateur’s work It’s a wonderfull tale that we can have here.
The story is still young but full of promise and potential.
The few characters that we know are well written.
The background is well writen.
The emotions are well written.
Even if there are some confusing parts that appears when the action get faster it’s still enjoying.
Thanks for your hard work and keep it up !
Eyeball1844Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
YEAH! You read that title right! I finished/caught up with, one of the stories on my bucket list. YAY! Alright.
As of chapter 19 I am writing this, probably horrible, review.
Seeing as I have no true talent for or experience of writing reviews, Edge here shall be my first test subject.
Style:
As a bad tale spinner, I particularly have a bad style (so take SOME of this with a grain of salt). However, I enjoyed Edge's a lot. The paragraphs are long and descriptive but no so much that it hurts the eyes or makes one want to stop reading. The descriptions are nice, able to give enough for the reader to understand and leaving out just enough for the imagination to fill.
He stays consistent on the tense and the point of view switches are few and easy to follow. The way he frames his words also make it enjoyable to read.
Story:
It's an interesting premise of a young boy being forced to battle a disease to which there is no cure for. It presents a good conflict, understandable, and not exaggerated. The fantasy aspect of the story so far is tame and a little dull but with time, I believe he can make a true world.
The story so far isn't quite clear, but it keeps the reader interested with mystery. The MC has no goal for the early chapters but obtains one later when he is "reincarnated."
Honestly, I've never been quite good at this part of the review in particular....
Grammar:
Decent. What else is there to say? Sometimes there's the occasional misuse of there, their, and they're, but it's a minuscule problem, one easily ignored. The words used are spaced out and varied, unlike mine, making it a smooth read.
Character:
I have to say that this is the biggest problem I have with the story. There are no problems with his characters, they're fine and all are likable. However, the problem lies with how many of them are developed and how much time the audience gets to spend with them.
Since the story is mainly written in first person, everything that is seen is through the eyes of Bra
mihail98Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This, as far as i'm concerned, is the only novel that actually tries to integrate actual psychology in the storytelling. Emotions, thoughts and moods are displayed with logical accuracy and that is why it gets 4.5/5 from me. Good luck with the novel.
vladislavRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Author is good with making reader empathize the main character, I even broke a tear at one moment, it’s hard thing to do I tell you. Drama in this story is really gets to my liking
Another good point is humor, it’s not forced comedic scenes you will see in most works on this site, I will not call it super funny but hey it’s drama after all.
So I read up to chapter 7 and in my opinion this story will definitely be in top 50 given time and work, so I hope you will do your best on this one. I think what’s lacking is visual part of novel, but you can easily fix it, just give more screen time to descriptions. For characters it will be hair color, eye color, clothes and their special traits, as for surroundings, uhmm, don’t know I’m really bad at it myself.
In conclusion it really reminiscent me about how Dostoyevsky wrote his romans, definitely good sign.
Give it a try
Do it
JUST DO IT
EdwardRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
AT THE TIME OF CHAPTER 11.
————————-
Your writing regarding the slice-of-life part and early life with ALS is definitely amazing. It’s top notch, superb, high quality writing. Nothing to say against it. But the whole story in this new world, while not bad, kinda is hard to comprehend. His previous life was very emotional and rational. You’re trying to keep the story rational and realistic, with adding fantasy elements to it, but the whole things feels very unrealistic and ambiguous all in all.
Here are some points to consider:
– A day is 111 hours long? Why?! Are you aware how hard it is for me, as a reader, to understand the concept of different perception of time. Especially since the way you’re writing it seems as if the day is still split into a day and night mode, and the characters still sleep at night. So they sleep 50+ hours a’ day’? Do you understand what I’m getting at? By changing the length of the day, you’re also changing the basic human perception of time and all concepts that are related to normal behavior that come with it.
– He came to the new world, get some ‘special powers’ which are not in the least explained in even one single sentence, and goes around doing telekinesis. materialization, instant disintegration and a lot more, basically, he is omnipotent. Kinda hard to grasp that.
– Character portrayal. How would you imagine people living in a world where huge monsters with slimy intestines used as appendix who live in small unprotected villages and have a day lasting 111 hours, while still having knowledge of a lot of supernatural things which they probably never saw or heard of, like powers that can turn stuff into dust, but just accept it and move on. I’d even doubt they are human to begin with, if not for the fact the main character is humanoid since he has arms and legs for that matter. Also the part about pulling out hair. Why can’t he simply see his own hair without pulling it out. I can see mine just fine right now, and it’s not even that