The Alternative Diaries of Raymond's Raven
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
[NEW RE-WRITE HERE: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21723/raymonds-raven-world-war-1 ]
1917, the First World War. The battle on the land and the sea are raging, even in the skies over the European Theatre. This is the lost tales of a certain Canadian Fighter Pilot, who is partnered with a member of the Canadian Witch Corp. Don't worry, she's cute.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2018
- Author
- GreenFlame000
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.3/ 5.0
- Followers
- 10
- Views
- 25,171
Chapters(30 total)
- Note from a Canadian BunnyNov 23, 2018
- VOL2 - Entry #4 = In Flander's Field (Remembrance Day 2018)Nov 11, 2018
- VOL2 - Entry #3 = Go for Black Flight.Nov 10, 2018
- VOL2 - Entry #2 = Sopwith Triplane and Magic CircuitsNov 5, 2018
- VOL2 - Entry #1 = The Pilot and the RavenOct 30, 2018
- Twenty-Fifth Preparation of the Walrus (POLL AVAILABLE)Oct 9, 2018
- Twenty-Fourth Claw of the Eagle (Bullet or Tackle)Oct 8, 2018
- Twenty-Third Laugh of the Raven (Trauma Wing)Sep 28, 2018
- Twenty-Second Chase of a Lovely Wolf (RavenGirl Again))Sep 24, 2018
- Twenty-First Leap of the Falcon (Drop)May 3, 2018
- Twentieth Dash of the Rabbit (Enemy Lines)May 2, 2018
- Nineteenth Wink of the Stars (NoSheep)May 1, 2018
- Eighteenth Page of the Aviators (Disciple)Apr 12, 2018
- Seventeenth Lance of the Valkyyr (Mad Woman)Apr 9, 2018
- Sixteenth Cloud of Mayhem (Extinguishers)Apr 7, 2018
- Fifteenth Chute of a Bird (Blue Stripes)Apr 5, 2018
- Fourteenth Search of the Truth (Corsets)Apr 4, 2018
- Thirteenth String of the Matchmaker (Not Red)Mar 27, 2018
- Twelth Sleep of the Lion (Couples)Mar 27, 2018
- Eleventh Lesson of the Seal (Walrus)Mar 8, 2018
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- VarkathRoyal Road★★★ 3.0Seems like a good idea, but the constant "Ace of Aces" and "backstory repeat" are total KILLS to being able to get into the story.
Grammer and basic writing are solid, but i still feel a lot of a hommage to hero vibe in wirter from what i've read so far. First couple chaps set us up well, then suddenly this "Ace of Aces" of the sky is on a ground scouting mission... I'm sorry but WTF! MC Ace status is not even set up and we are jumping total focus for no particular reason, no briefing, no set up, just BAM! I'm scouting the Krautes bc there is a mage there and my partner is a mage. Ummm.... pretty sure an Army fighting for dear life WW1 set up would have other options and better skilled persons than to pull their Ace of the sky out.
Also in WW1 sky battle had little influence on development of ground war. Need to build a much better backstory/plotup to get this fully sold.
Story Wise is would give an A for effort, but a D for execution. AND if you are gonna just drop magic and witches into the whole deal, need to give a bit more about history along the way. Female pilots, etc, will help. In this time gender roles were very heavy not to mention there is no explaination about a Witch(mage) attached to a fighter and nothing about it just "HEY ITS THERE!" set. Then she is casted as ideal Pin Up Girl and others, not buying it, again it stinks of an excessive hero worship on author side.
Unless these basic things are fixed which would probably need a rewrite I don't see myself being able to get into the story and/or relate to ANY of the characters. And with such issues I don't feel myself to be able to give a proper advanced review since these are so glaring to me as a reader.