System Wide

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Join Gordan on his adventure! A normal guy manning his parent's shop discovers a cheat to increase mundane skills in a world where everybody has a system! The story follows Gordan after he leaves his parents ' home and uses this cheat to conquer the labyrinth to find what lies at the earth's center. Along the way, he finds love, friendship, and danger.The year is 567 LA. Exactly 567 years ago, at midnight, at the beginning of the new year 2025, massive entrances to an underground labyrinth opened. For a while after that, civilization tried to use the old calendar system, but to no avail. Life now centered around one thing: exploring the labyrinth.

On that day, all people across the globe were given access to the system. Through this, modern life is possible. As time passed, the curious entered and found the labyrinth full of precious resources, monsters, and magical items. Nowadays, most people enter the gates at dawn, only leaving to sell off their haul. Others sell daily necessities. Or construct housing, the few businesses left in society center around equipment to explore the labyrinth further or prepare new explorers.

Now, that only leaves me. My name is Gordan; I work here at my family business. We sell exploration gear like rope, daggers, and lamps. I man the counter while my dad makes the gear and my mom does the books. It's simple living.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2023
Author
Pwikster

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYADVENTUREMAGICCOMEDYMULTIPLE LOVERSMALE LEADHIGH FANTASYPROGRESSIONDYSTOPIA

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.3/ 5.0
Followers
13
Views
4,489

Chapters(16 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(3)

  • AtlasEpochRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Story so far is good. The story great potential for growth and a fairly good amount of story progress per chapter. I'm excited to see where the story goes and how the characters grow!
    For a first work this is great! I hope to see your writing style evolve and grow as you write more chapters.
  • RebbLikesCoffeeRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    For your first time writing, this is really good!
    My main suggestion would be to add more to each chapter in the sense of world building. Dialogue is good, but adding maybe some more about what the Gordon is up to or what is going on in their life may give a better sense to the world he lives in. Is this more modern day or fantasy world? What does he do in his day to day life? By giving the reader a more in depth view into the Gordon's life, it will make the reader feel more intertwined and engaged with the MC :)
    The concept is great so far, and I look forward to reading more in the future!!
  • burningGroundRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 3.5
    I love surreal comedy. Nonsensical tsukkomi and cringe developments. The first chapter seem to deliver on that!
    However, it isn't without faults:
    The pacing is off at some points; there are constant grammatical errors, but I don't care about that. I rate on how enjoyable the prose and the developments are to me (unless the pacing is absolutely atrocious). It really gives off the vibes that it's an early draft. (I always go in blind and do not bother to read the summary)
    The dialogues are fine and funny, but if the author can elevate the prose and comedy to another level if they added more transitional scenes, more inner monologues about ridiculous situations.
    Right now, maybe due to the barebone-ness of the transitional scenes, it makes it feel like an abridged series, or a 1.5x sped up YouTube video. If the author can render these sections meatier, it would be a smoother reading experience to me.
    Future problems can arise (even if this intends to be a comedy-first driven series) is that if there's TOO many wacky moments without a robust, established system, things can start to get convoluted and hard to follow for the reader. Too much of one thing can make the story lose its foundation and might make it turn it into rubbish.
    tl;dr it has great potential and I've enjoyed what I've read so far; but the author needs to tidy up on a lot of points and build a solid framework for the "main plot" otherwise it'll feel too "random" to follow properly. Too much "randomness" will weaken your worldbuilding's structural integrity (so try to keep it fun and random but while maintaining that fine balance of respecting your worldbuilding---which is not an easy task!).