Shadow of the Primordials

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Liam finds himself face to face with a god.

Growing up in the slums of Charville Liam learned to hate three things: the constant hunger, the nobility and the gods that gave them their powers.

When one of those gods offered powers to him he finds himself unable to refuse them.But things aren't as simple as he thought. While its blessing allows him to manipulate Gravity itself, there is still something strange about the god and the mission it gave him.

He doesn't have long to figure out his new powers. The nobility will never tolerate a slum rat like him receiving a blessing. The other gods are moving. And the empire is already unraveling.

Can Liam escape the people hunting him long enough to overtake them in strength? Can he unveil the mysteries surrounding the god that has blessed him and uncover the hidden lies spanning through the whole empire?

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Shadow of the Primordials is a Cultivation Fantasy story. The world is a mythologically inspired fantasy realm. Although it is a LitRpg technically, the Gamelit aspects are rather soft and there will be no pages full of numbers going up. The story is set in a somewhat more serious tone, and can even be dark at times.

The story will start somewhat slower in the beginning but will ramp up later on. Liam goes from very limited powers to quite strong later on.

I appreciate any criticism and feedback!

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There will be 4 chapters a week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Florian Hannemann

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 48
Views: 21,150

Chapters(39 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

A.CrowneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I will be honest, I have a problem, and the only solution is more cultivation stories. Unfortunately, not all cultivation tales were created equal. From prose to setting, things can become far too "samie".
Thankfully, this story is a departure from that one-note-madness.
The author is a dedicated and passionate individual, who is open to feedback and from brief interactions, is constantly ready to improve. This lends even more confidence in the story being a standout in a genre I adore.
Overall score: I already stated that it was a departure from the norm, the blend of LitRPG and cultivation bringing to mind DoTF or PH. The blending of the narrative and the building up of our protagonist is a constant source of engagement, that as a read I find satisfying.
Style Score: The style blends together what could sometimes be hard to work with elements, making a truly interesting amalgam that has me wanting to find more. Top marks honestly.
Grammar Score: Some things need to be worked on, and the author is already well aware and adjusting said things. His rapid improvement has been a source of joy and encouragement for me, and as such I can only give him praise here.
Story score: The story starts swinging from the moment we enter the world of our protagonist. Draws you in, and gives you a sense of depth. A strong, STRONG start that I look forward to reading more of.
Character Score: Our protagonist, Liam, feels very realistic. Having a good set of morals, but understanding the harshness of reality, sets him apart from that optimistic shonen-esque main character archetype, but prevents him from becoming the apathetic counterpart that has become much more common in recent times.
All in all, a fantastic read from a fantastic author and I truly look forward to reading more.
BluesycobaltRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I'm more familiar with LitRPG than I am with cultivation, but if this story is at all representative of the Western side of that genre, color me interested. So far we have an interesting setting somewhat reminiscent of "starting from the bottom" fantasy like the Mistborn or Foundryside trilogies. Has very much the same "scrappy underdog with useful but not overpowered magic" feel.
Style - I like the prose style. It's a good balance of clarity and ornamentation to where I could picture all of it without it being a diorama of generic set pieces. Definitely a fan.
Grammar - Usually a couple noticeable errors per chapter but nothing that will make you wonder if it was proofread. Just the usual "only one set of eyes editing it" stuff.
Story - The setting is definitely the star of the show. The comparisons I give above apply to the setting as well, but there definitely feels like a good amount of meat to explore here and the writer does a good job doling it out in manageable bites that never feel like lore dumps while also giving you something to chew on.
Character - Mostly it's focused on the main character Liam so far, who feels a little bit like a blank slate at times despite his colorful background. This might be par for the course for the genre though. I get the feeling that the opening chapters of cultivation books tend to be fleshing out the magic system. That said, the side characters like Bird have been well-written and enjoyable with concise and punchy backstories.
Definitely recommend this one on the grounds of the strength of writing style alone. The prose is on par with what you'll find in trad pub even if it hasn't been run through as many editors/agents to spot-check. It's a little bit on the darker side given the dystopic state of the world, but if you're into that, this is your book. At a minimum I would say give it a go up to Chapter 5 just to get a sense for if the writing style is your thing.
LuminstateRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
STORY
This gets almost straight into the action, with the Liam, the main character who is a street rat with a heart of gold, being offered an opportunity. There is clearly a lot of depth to the history of the world and to the world itself, as well as Liam’s past, which is one of the things that makes you keep reading. As Liam explores his new power, however, other factions begin to take an interest. The story revolves around the commonly-used litRPG trope, but the execution makes it well worth reading, with lots of story hooks.
CHARACTER
Liam is a likeable character, damaged by his time on the streets, but still wanting to help people and do the right thing. It’s easy to empathise with his feelings of powerlessness and frustration, and you find yourself cheering for him as he begins to stand up for himself and others. The other characters seem well-rounded and with personalities and a history of their own.
STYLE
The writing is very readable, and the dialogue is convincing, bringing the scenes and the characters to life. Definitely better than average.
GRAMMAR
Grammar and spelling pretty good – a few minor typos, but no major issues.
One Way JusticeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Story:
I like the mix of urban fantasy and LitRPG; it is done well in this story. The story is intriguing, with the sudden upheaval of Liam’s normal life... when he gets serious powers. The antagonists are a bit archetypal antagonists, but in a way that’s what makes it fun... the genre allows for that!
Character:
Liam is an interesting protagonist; his transformation from common thief to man with superhero powers makes for a solid character arc. He has relatable flaws, which makes his sudden power increase all the more interesting. Other characters like David and the nobleman are good antagonists although maybe a bit one-dimensional (but that can be forgiven, given the writing genre). The god is an enigma and keeps things interesting.
Style:
The writing is well done. The narrative style is immersive with good pacing. Prose-wise it’s a direct and unembellished style, which is fine for the story type. There is decent balance between action sequences and introspective moments. The dialogue is ok and moves the plot along... but occasionally is a bit too heavy on exposition. The characters’ voices could be a bit more distinct, but these are minor issues, again, given the genre.
Grammar:
Fine, no real problems.
G.A. RashRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall:
An engaging cultivation tale with a refreshing twist. The infusion of Litrpg elements adds a unique flavour that enhances the narrative. I have only read a few cultivation novels previously, but I do believe this is not the normal style to use.
This story serves as an excellent introduction to a highly intriguing and easily digestible journey. I will be including this one on my reading list.
Style:
The narrative strikes a solid, but not overbearing, balance between action sequences and introspection in each chapter. While the dialogue is effective, it occasionally leans towards being overly descriptive. Despite this, the plot maintains a smooth flow, ensuring an enjoyable reading experience.
Grammar: No noteworthy issues were found in this department. The grammar is solid.
Story: The narrative kicks off with a strong start, maintaining an unwavering momentum throughout. The portrayal of a world where the Nobles wield powers while others do not is skillfully executed. The protagonist's acquisition of abilities and his resourcefulness in using them to help others is shown well.
Character: Liam, the main character, is portrayed with a commendable sense of realism, albeit occasionally appearing as a bit of a clean slate. However, this may be just my observation. His strong set of morals is a defining trait that remains consistently portrayed.
The Writer MeaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
There are too many paragraphs. It would be better if they were a little longer. The boy realized with absurd ease that the man was God. If time suddenly stops and a man appears in front of me, why should I think he is a god? Of course, this varies from person to person. However, his comfort level could have been reduced a bit and his conversation with God could have been more elaborated. It's not like he sees a God every day, right? There are small logic errors like this, but they can be ignored. If this is a first story, I'd say you've made a pretty good start, but I should also say that it would be better to keep some clichés out of the novel. For example, a god comes and goes and gets everyone all hyped up. The less God appears, the better. It's better if he doesn't appear at all. Of course, in the perfect hands, even classics can turn into masterpieces. We can see this in Royal Road. With a little time and experience, I don't believe that there will be a work that will not rank among these novels, and it will get better and better in the coming chapters. He just has to keep writing and realize that when the time comes he has to end the story. This is a good story.
Melrose DowdyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I've enjoyed reading this so far.
The story doesn't waste any time, and the protagonist is in deep doodoo right away. As Liam finds his way through an awful predicament, we get a sense of how deep and developed this world is. The author put plenty of thought into creating a world with nobles and the struggling people below them.
The grammar and prose quality make clear what the author is expressing, but a beta reader is necessary to help this work reach its proper heights.
There isn't a single boring moment. Some incredible action happens in every chapter. The world building is cleverly tucked into the action, so the pace never slows down much.
The sense of style is nice; there's some rough attitude and strength of character in the main protagonist. The environments are described well enough that I want to walk inside them!
There is a sense of progression as the protagonist acquires new skills and becomes capable of doing more for himself. The coolest part of this genre is that this progression guarantees that protagonist transforms over time, just as well-developed characters should.
Give this a read if you want to see a thief character rise from powerless to powerful!
Antares905Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall: Shadow of the Primordials has an interesting start with our protagonist trying to be a hero. This is my first time diving into cultivation stories, and the mix of LitRPG, a fantasy setting, and our protagonist starting out weak but making his way up has been entertaining so far. The game system bits (if you can call it that) aren't overbearing with pops from the little I've read. Check it out.
Style: Florian knows how to paint a scene well enough with the choice of words. The prose is fine too. I don't feel lost at all.
Story: I get a modern, craptastic superhero comic vibe from the setting despite the city having lanterns and horse carts. Some people aren't fans of the Deux Ex Machina saving the day (especially early on), but I don't mind it since it didn't feel like it came out of thin air.
Grammar: A few mistakes here and there but not enough to be a dealbreaker.
Character: It's too early to say, but I like Liam so far. I also personally like antagonists that are petty or don't show remorse for the things they do, like the nameless nobleman. Makes their comeuppance that much sweeter.
TyZomboRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall: Entertaining series with a good MC and fun power type.
Style: Good style. Word choice, sentence structure, flow, etc is all there with a distinctive author’s voice. Slipped once or twice from third person omniscient to the narration breaking the fourth wall in a slightly distracting way but otherwise is pretty enjoyable.
Story: Starting in a cutthroat slum with the protagonist a clever but lowly thief in debt to someone it’s better not to be in debt to. Set in a harsh society where nobles lord over the peasants like predators over cattle and those given power by gods even more so. It’s straight into inciting incident of the plot and maintains its pace.
Character: Liam is the lovable rogue archetype, or thief with a conscience. Does what he needs to do to survive in the ruthless streets but has trouble turning a blind eye to true depravity. Although he can come across as a bit too naïve/unprepared for someone who lived the life he’s supposed to have and lacks the desperation to grab opportunities with no clear downsides. It was also kind of hard to get a read on him because his emotions and thoughts about certain events flipflop from scene to scene. One moment he’s adverse to a free powerup, the next he’s giddy just thinking about it. One moment he’s unconcerned about his dangerous situation, later he’s pale remembering it. But that aside, he is likable and an active MC that moves the plot forward with his own decisions.
Grammar: No issues here.
Creator_cccccRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
Why are cultivators so weak? Absolutely all the cultivators shown were not very impressive, either the author is not very good at action and combat, or the level of power in this world is not very high.. I actually really like the slow-paced story and the low-to-high GC, but this book didn't grab me.I wish the author creative success and good luck. (I’ll probably try to read it when there are a lot of chapters)