Rise of the Looper

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

- The novel has been cancelled -

What Luke had been expecting was a first day as a new employee at an IT company. Instead, what he got was a first day in a completely new world, full of menacing monsters and unknown dangers lurking beyond each and every corner.

After giving a group of monsters a run for their money and almost dying, Luke's life was saved by a mysterious old man who would grant him a great power that would allow him to defy the laws of time and space themselves.

But Luke would soon learn that using such a power had a steep price - namely, his death.

This will be a story involving a magic system based on elementals and artifacts, as well as slower-paced MC strength progression, with dark and gritty undertones.New chapters released once a week.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: konza

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.8/ 5.0
Followers: 120
Views: 55,878

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Edge ValmondRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style:
I do not grade style, but if I have to give something. It is in third person PoV, and easy to follow along. Though, it appears to have more of a focus on dialogue.
Grammar:
I found issues here ands there, but overall it was fine.
Story:
Luke finding himself in the woods, meeting an old man. Basically finding himself in like a new world. Elementals, which is strange to him. The concepts around, but more importantly, a curse. The story could use some improvements. Smaller things like bringing the reader along. While it does touch off on the senses, it still needs to do more to liven things up. Anyway, as a whole. It is solid, with an intriguing premise. There are even some unsettling parts, which makes me think it is going somewhere large.
Character:
As far as I can tell, Luke is someone who is more outspoken to say. He also doesn't seem to consider his words, but this looks to be part of his character. Which given the setting, and the interactions. I think it works out well, I definitely see development for him.
Overall:
This story as a whole works well, and brings some interesting things to field. Which I am certain there will be enjoyment in this, just give it a bit of time.
Two Suggestions:
1. When working with a sub of first person perspective. Such as,
'This old man...'
I recommend shifting it to italics, like this.
This old man...
2. Could use a bit more in the body text of the story. As I feel there isn't enough description. Which can be used to better flesh things out.
That is about it really. I should note, I did notice improvements as things went along, so for the readers to know. It does progressively get better.