Realm Rift Chronicles [Fantasy/LitRPG/Portals]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Kael has always been a survivor, scraping by in the slums of Kaszai, a crumbling city on the edge of the Mer Empire’s slow decline. In a world dominated by adventurer guilds and powerful nations, Kael’s life was nothing more than a daily struggle—until he stumbles upon the Void Shard.

Thrust into a web of secrets beyond his comprehension, Kael learns of the Realms—pocket dimensions teeming with dangerous creatures, forgotten relics, and untapped power. With the Void Shard, Kael can access these Realms and gain strength in ways no one else can, but the deeper he dives, the further out of his depth he find himself. As the line between the Realms and his world blurs, Kael finds himself pulled into the deadly politics of adventurers and nations alike, all while facing dark forces rising from the shadows.

InRealm Rift Chronicles, follow Kael's journey as he navigates guild and national politics, delves into dangerous Realms, and forms complex bonds with those drawn into his orbit. Power is within his grasp, but so is the risk of losing himself in the process.

What to expect:

- Weak-to-strong MC- Dark and gritty storytelling with intense emotional turmoil and inner conflict- MC starts off largely ignorant of the world, but grows with time and experience- Progression, quests, and system screens- Detailed and dynamic combat scenes- A growing cast of secondary characters- Slow burn

This is my first time writing for an audience; thank you all for reading.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: Narrin Dawa

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 186
Views: 95,227

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

PhilOxnardRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: It's surprising to find writing of this caliber in a place like RoyalRoad - this feels like it was written by a professional fantasy author. At times it can get a biiiit flowery, and the sentence structure can become a bit repetative, but that's a small price to pay for knowing that you're in the hands of a supremely capable author. Sentence structure and word choice are really, really impressive, and it allows the author to clearly and easily build the world of the story.
Story: It's shaping up to be pretty sweet. The author takes their time building up the horrible world of Mudtown, while only hinting at whatever this mysterious System is capable of. Right off the bat, the conflict is clear and the main character Kael's way out is also clear, which I really appreciate - being able to see where the story is going keeps me invested (not to say that this will be predictable - I doubt it - but having a clear throughline is awesome).
Grammar: Really, really clean. As mentioned before, the complex sentence structure does repeat itself here and there, but it does so without any errors.
Character: All of the orphans, or at least the more prominet ones, shine as clear and distinct characters. I could follow a conversation between Taris, Venn, and Kael without needing any dialogue tags because their personalities and voices are so well defined. Furthermore, the whole setting is basically a character itself - Mudtown has more of a personality than half of the characters from other stories I've read on RR, which is a testament to the author's writing skill.
GreenSpace40Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
*Spoilers* (Just in case)
The story is certainly one of those grimdark stories that makes one sympathetic to the main character. The main character one of the lowest of the low in society, an orphan street rat who also happens to have a sickly body. Personally, I like this type of beginning setting as long as it doesn’t make the character a psycho, which so far it hasn’t. Their lucky encounter that changes their life appears to be exactly that, a lucky encounter that randomly happened which I really like. Too often it feels like a character is just given what makes them special and it comes across as forced, and in my opinion that doesn’t happen here. Overall, this is a great starting setting for a character and I’m excited to see where it goes.
What’s really great about the story is the author has included more stat types than is typical. There are around 24 secondary stats that belong under one of 6 primary stats, 4 secondary to 1 primary with the primary being the average of the secondary. So far there has not been much indication that the 6 primary do separate affects from their component secondary stats but regardless if it’s 24 stats or 30 stats overall, it gives the character a lot more choices regardless of whether they want to generalize or specialize. Personally, I like characters to specialize, hopefully in magic but even if not in magic I feel like specialization makes characters more interesting and unique. There’s no indication which way the main character will go but with their background going a generalized route would make a lot of sense. I feel like a good author can still make a nonspecialized character interesting so I’m still very much looking forward to this story. If stats aren’t your favorite thing don’t worry too much, so far in the story (Chapter 21-22) there really hasn’t been that much focus on them.
I’m quite excited to continue to read this story and encourage others to give it a chance.
Resigned DilettanteRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The author knows what type of story they want to tell, and tells it convincingly. They're is tension, danger and interpersonal conflicts.
Style: Is the weakest element, but is still very good in most cases. Flowing descriptions that clearly convey what's being talked about. The only big flaw is that there are cases of repetitiveness, saying the same thing several times over the course of a few paragraphs.
Grammar: I grade grammar the least critically, asking only two questions. 1. were there anything that made me confused: answer no. 2. was there anything that stood out that I could have easily reworded to greater effect: answer is also no. So it gets 5 stars from me. I'm certain I could find stuff if I looked, but I don't do that when reading casually.
Story: Very compelling, I want to read more. Danger around every corner. Interesting elements like the people's differing views on what the system is. Looking forward to learn the mysteries of what the void stuff is.
Characters: I understand who they are and what they're about. They all behave consistently, to a degree that their surprises create tension rather than being jarring, but they still have some surprises. More importantly I'm emotionally invested in the main character's well being, and so am given a reason to continue.
As a whole this is an interesting and fun read, making me look forward to more.
Mischievous HundRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Your writing style is highly atmospheric, drawing the reader deep into the grim setting of Mudtown. The rich sensory details, such as the oppressive air and the constant stench of decay, are palpable and set a strong tone for the story. The narrative voice is consistent, and the introspection of the protagonist adds depth, making the story feel personal and immersive.
The story establishes a harsh, survival-driven world where Kael and his group struggle daily against hunger, bullies, and the looming threat of the Mud Rats. The idea of a System Awakening adds an intriguing layer of mystery and potential hope amidst the despair. The pacing works well in conveying the harsh realities of life in the slums, though the introduction of the System could come slightly earlier to hook the reader with the promise of change. Overall, the blend of survival and supernatural elements is well-executed.
Your grammar is solid, with only a few minor punctuation errors or awkward sentence constructions. The dialogue feels natural, especially given the setting and the background of the characters. Overall, the writing flows well and doesn't distract the reader from the story.
Kael is well-developed, with his inner thoughts and emotions presented. However, the supporting characters—like Venn and Taris—could use more depth. Venn, as the bully, feels a bit one-dimensional, while Taris is the typical leader figure. Expanding on their motivations or giving them more complexity would enhance the emotional stakes. The camaraderie between the orphans is well-handled, but it could be strengthened by delving deeper into their relationships and pasts.
ArthicernRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The first thing to know about this story is that it is often a grim world, if by the character's trained in thoughts and fears, if not by the darker world this all takes place in. But even in all of that the protagonist -Kael- does the best he can to try and cling on to some kind of hope, even if his every instinct says to let it go.
The prose this is all written in is detailed and vivid painting the emotional weight of the scenes clearly, though they can occasionally be a little long winded. Drawing scenes out for a bit longer than is needed to drive home the oppressiveness of this world.
While some of the early characters tend to lack a depth beyond their role, their choices influenced more by the needs of the plot than their established selves, the protagonist is well written with his thoughts and feelings constantly explored as he tries to survive this world while maintaining what little hope he dares to have.
The story itself is something of a slow burn, enough so that the actual LitRPG elements are talked about in fear and reverence for the first act before being unlocked roughly a hundred pages in with little use. Everything else is about Kael's attempts to survive with little else even hinted at for an overarching plot.
Though as a survival story it does work well for telling Kael's story of surviving as an orphan on the streets, constantly scrounging for supplies, and moving on to explore other worlds as his system allows him to leave his existing one behind with few regrets beyond fear of the unknown.
While this story can be an oppressive read at times with it's grimdark world, there are as many sparks of potential within this tale as there are sparks of hope with Kael's life.
cosmic_lonewolfRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story so far creates a really good base for the future chapters, along with a clear sense of stakes that drives the MC and the world at large. There are places where the story tends to drag a bit but nothing that really breaks the flow of the story.
Style:
The style is rich with sensory details and gritty descriptions, which work well to immerse us in the dark, unforgiving world. But the descriptions sometimes tend to drag a bit too long, and the narrative loses some of the tension that the author has built up. Certain descriptions start to feel a bit more repetitive.
Story:
The central narrative is compelling, grounded in a world of desperation and survival. The stakes—both personal and societal—are high. The tension is well built, with pieces of the story being slowly revealed along the way.
Grammar:
The grammar is strong, with few noticeable errors. The sentences are well-constructed, and the vocabulary suits the tone of the story.
Characters:
The characters are distinct and well-established, with Kael and Lira standing out the most. Kael is a sympathetic protagonist, and we can feel his fear, anger, and weariness. The other characters are a bit less developed, but that is because the story is still in its beginning stages.
jerpatchRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The first arc is a prolonged build-up to getting to the good stuff, aka the system. The world is dark, and gritty making you feel for the MC and the world he is dealing with. It also leaves you with questions about how he gets where he is with the other orphans and why part of the group thinks he is weak? It mentioned he’s weak but from what’s written it isn’t clear why. The other orphans are there but they feel a little flat, except for the bullies.
Style-wise the descriptions are long and flowy, which slows down the story but helps build the tension of what's happening to the MC. If you like descriptive stories, you will love this one. The grammar has been good and I haven't noticed any issues.
Story-wise like I mentioned the first arc is a slow build-up but now we get to see some of the system come into play. I like the character sheet style, and it teases some future expansions and growth.
The portal out of Mudtown is the most exciting thing to happen so far. I want to see how all of this interacts with the world he currently is on, and if he can leave for good. Basically, I want to read more and find out what happens to the MC in this new place.
Stella DayRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I've read through the first five chapters. Narrin Dawa does a good job of conveying how utterly miserable the character's starting position is, so we sympathize with him and want to see his life get better. I'm very interested in what seems like hints of science fiction/technology in what otherwise feels more like a fantasy setting, which makes me wonder if there's going to be some sort of twist to look forward to. I do wish I'd had a better idea earlier of what "The System" might actually do for Kael. We're told that it's a potential way out of the slums, but I don't know what that means--has Kael heard rumors about the kids who were chosen by the "System?" What do those rumors say happened exactly? Going into detail on the slum story is good for establishing Kael's character, but "the System" is the interesting twist that's presumably going to lead into a big epic narrative, and I'd like more hints about it earlier. I think that could be done while keeping it mysterious.
The author has stated that he uses AI for editing, which I think is a legitimate choice. The style is clear and flows, though for my taste there's sometimes too much detail crammed into each sentence. I like a bit more "show" and a bit less "tell"--for example, instead of being told which orphan is the leader of the group and which ones are bullies, I'd like to figure that out myself based off what each character says and does.
A few small parts of the story are written in a different font and highlighted in different colors. I think that's really cool, taking real advantage of the web fiction format. I hope Narrin continues and maybe even builds on that.
MalevolentKiwiRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
Needs tightening up. I tried to keep going but I found myself skimming because there was a lot of repetition. Some paragraphs were just reworded versions of the pervious one. There’s only so many times you can describe a character slamming into a corner while running before it gets tedious. I don’t need to be reminded of the fetid stench or squelching slick mud every third sentence. The 4 chapter intro arc could have been a single chapter.
At the same time there seems to be a lot of context missing. Why do the 3 people in his group hate him so much? They call him weak and useless and he’s described as scrawny but why the animus? From what is shown the MC doesn’t seems to be any sicker or pull any less weight than the others in the group. Show us that he’s a drag, give him a limp a crippled arm, missing eye something that makes him less fit than all the other malnourished kids that seem to be in his group. Why did the leader bother standing up for him?
There’s also some major plot holes, why isn’t someone tracking these awakened people if they’re so powerful? Seems like you can just wander in and touch the artifact, no follow up, no recruitment, no control by the powerful to snatch up or smother potential competitors. Decent writing but could definitely use some edits and better world building.
ranchAutomataRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I've read quite a few chapters but so far I've been split on if I want to continue.
the good: the story is interesting enough where there seems to be a lot to explore. the setting is detailed but we know literally nothing other than it's the slums and run by a gang. the system seems interesting but not much has been explained.
the bad: there are lots of plot holes and inconsistenties. first is why aren't kids who awaken the system being interrogated by the gang when there is only one place in the slums to unlock it. why did his ex group hunt him down even though he has nothing to offer and didn't hurt them? for starving kids, it seems to be a huge waste of energy. why doesn't he eat the monsters he killed? it just seems like it's there to push the plot forward which is imo bad writing.
finally the absolute worst part if the story is the writing. don't get me wrong, it's like 3/5 bc of how verbose the author is. way too much detail to explain everything hes doing and his inner monologue/justification. a lot of the chapters could be half the length doing the same job while still being immersive.
It's also giving me AI vibes bc he ends up repeating a lot of setting and details using it for another scenario. if you've ever used ai writing tools for fantasy, it's a dead give away and I'm surprised author didn't catch it if he edited at all.
overall, it's not bad and there seems to be some direction overall but it is the little things that make it okay instead of great. maybe I'm being too harsh idk