Our Shattered Realms

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

*This is a learning experience for me so please keep in mind that I am attempting to work on some of the issues brought to my attention early on. However I haven't yet gone back to redo the early chapters.*

Less than two days ago every piece of electronics in the world stopped working for more than two hours. The death toll was immense. Hospital equipment failed, cars stopped in the middle of the street, planes fell from the sky, and homework was lost at the worst possible moment. We found out that it was just the flicker and hum of The System warming up. Now we see the true cost of our new world.

A Dark comedy that focuses on a few of the many people who aren't stuck in a high level dungeon when our world is translated and joined toOur Shattered Realms.

This is my first story that I have published. I welcome any criticism that you have for me. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: Silver Caminus

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.1/ 5.0
Followers: 117
Views: 65,639

Chapters(30 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

Justin84201Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I actually have fairly enjoyed this story, with it’s interesting theme and take on the monsters. The way the author created a new type of “system”,(like how the enemies are beings that had their existences destroyed, or “shattered”). I would very much like to have this story continued as it is quite the interesting concept they came up with, and by far I love it.
funkyguy09Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Potential spoilers warning!
Starting out i will say this story definitely isn't the best this site has to offer.
However! It is still above-par compared to a lot of other stories on this site.
Style - The style is fine, it's readable and as far as i can tell there aren't any author logic jump cut's which is good, the biggest problems i have with the authors style is that i feel there are not enough varying sentance lengths which urks me to some degree but not enough to stop me reading, and also the lack of new paragraphs, at some point i feel like there should be more spacing between the sentances using new paragraphs, it throws me slightly when i just keep reading and reading and the topics are jumping around contantly without any identifier that it's a new topic, if that makes sense? That's the best way i could explain it anyhow.
Story - Run of the mill, real world turns in to a fanatasy game world setting, que apocalypse. I say that but don't let that detract from wanting to read it, it's a well done transition so far as of chapter 24. The world is slowly getting built but i still have no idea where the characters are situated and what other communities are doing, i feel the author is rushing the plot in this regard, i think he needs to slow down and do some more world building.
Grammar - Not too much to talk about, the thing before about varying sentance lengths and paragraphs can fit in to this section too, there aren't too many spelling mistakes which is good, and if anyone points them out in the comments at the end of the chapter the author takes steps in order to fix those mistakes - don't take this for granted, some authors release the chapter and feel like it's out there now and they don't go back to it, even if it is to update some basic grammar misshaps.
Characters - Honestly what i consider to be a focal point in stories because if you can't properly identify with a character there isn't much left to keep a reader hooked on the story. The characters in