Origin

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Have you ever wondered, how it was before, in the origin? Ever wondered how humanity managed to survive and grow in a world where everything could easily wipe them out?

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Community Reviews(4)

Scientia PyreRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I think I will really like this story, admittedly there isn't a lot of chapters yet, but it gives me a good feeling on the flow and direction of it; Hope it continues for a long time to come!
Faber WriteRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Since the beginning of the rewrite has begun, this review has to be changed.
You have done some parts well that other authors fail to do, to put in the MC's name with logic, and placed the divine origins inside of him, the other musical aspect is still a bit rough, but functional nonetheless.
Beginning of chapter goes Hototo at the start of every sentence, giving him a brutish outlook at first before he grew into the [ Redacted for the sake of future readers ].
Story has a decent premise. The brutality of the tribe gives a softer landing into the possible future of a dystopian empire *Wink*.
Character:
Finally.
This... this has finally been fixed.
My past grievances about Monty are forgiven.
Look below for more specific but spoiler like stuff.
Spoiler: Spoiler
EVERYTHING MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE.
Age gap. People should be fine with it, it's 2019.
Divine energy void... I would prefer that fear of the origin to be more ingrained into the tribe's history, but it's fine.
Why are the 2 goddesses staying in the mortal realm? For over 8 months while they have to manage their worlds? ( odd )
That's it folks, nothing else.
Clandestine, you've made large improvements to your craft, and I shall watch closely for how this story turns out!
Zach SkyeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall: 4.5/5
I thought this story had such a unique and interesting premise drawing upon religion and history in a way I wouldn't expect. This story is about gods, so the timescale kind of draws on in a very long and immense way - however, the downside to this is that sometimes the transition between time periods can be a little confusing to the reader. Additionally, sometimes it goes 'outside' of time, which can also be on the confusing side to anyone reading it. It appears the author is working on it, and has been rewriting the start - which I believe heavily improves these issues.
Honestly, the story is cool so far. I would recommend people give it a shot because it is very unique.
Style: 3.5/5
Chronology can be a little difficult, and some of the characters present in a human form are hard to relate to. The goddess mentioned is easy to follow - as she doesn't age or doesn't fall out of relevancy to the story. I wish that maybe it centered more around the main character and fell into a little bit more of a linear line, but for narrative purposes, I think it still works. It can just be a little confusing. I like that in chapter 4, the author began including at the head of the chapter the year and place it takes place. It might help for other chapters/line breaks to do a similar system so people can easily keep track.
Story: 5/5
It's a cool story. Haven't seen anything like it. How the author came up with this is beyond me, I have nothing but good things to say about it. I'm interested to see where it goes, and adding this book to my follow list after posting this review.
Grammar: 4/5
There are some issues with dialogue grammar. Some issues with your and you're. Some weird sentence structure and flow in places. No real issues with missing words or misspelled words. Doesn't detract from the story at all. Above-average grammar. Good job!
Character: 4/5
I find the main character intriguing. I find the goddess intriguing. The only real issue is because of the time sc
gavin linvilleRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Keep it up do not for get to keep you honer FOR THE GOD is good god is kind!

Origin

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Chapters(21 total)

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Community Reviews(4)