Oathholder (Heretical Oaths)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Lily's family failed her. With the power to ruin anything in her path, she will force her way back to the top.

Since times long lost to history, magic power has been gained through a contract with divinity. The vast majority of mages are pacted to the eight core gods and the sixty-four lesser ones. Lily Syashan—formerly Lily of House Byron—holds an oath to a forgotten god. Exiled into a peasant village after her parents were executed for treason, Lily swore that she would gain power and succeed where her family failed.

To build her power, she will need to kill, destroy, andruin. Whether her target is an Altered monster or another human getting in her way, Lily will need to be ready to defeat them all. The journey to the top won’t be an easy one, but Lily is prepared to do whatever it takes to finish it.

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Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2022
Author: Slifer274

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 1,405
Views: 291,466

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

pointless_writerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
good soup yum. all jokes aside your writing is incredible, your magic system is well thought out. original characters/storyline is always something that's pretty difficult, and you've done it well. the plot is pretty interesting and your characters are deep and well developed. grammar and spelling are on point (although i guess i'm used to reading bad fanfic writing, nevertheless good grammar and spelling) good job man !! :]
BladeGripRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Welcome to a fantasy world where "Adventurer" is a job that is anything but glorious. No, it's a shitty high risk job with a significant death rate especially for newbies, and the pay is often barely worth it. Enter our heroine and her newly made partners on the first quest of the story, and casualties fell pretty quickly, almost leading into a total wipeout. Of course she has to survive or we will have no story. The plot continues from there and boy, it gets more interesting as it goes.
The worldbuilding is sufficiently clear and coherent with how people can acquire and wield magic, and the technological advancement of the world so far is implied to be slightly more modern than typical fantasy setting, with the existence of guns and trains. My only gripe here is the vast number of gods, which is not a bad thing by itself, but I have some difficulties remembering which god gives what. I only remember Igni = Fire just because it happens to be intuitive.
There was little to no jarring mistakes in the writing, and I went with the flow of the story smoothly. Good work there.
All in all, this was totally worth the time I spent reading. Keep up the good work.
Bub100Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story has been a fun ride so far. Our protagonists Lily and Jasmine are interesting characters and have a nice dynamic developing between them, and the magic system is pretty neat as well. I don’t have any major gripes with it so far, and I’m excited to see where it goes next.
STYLE: The writing style doesn’t drag, but it’s able to convey serious scenes well. It’s nothing super eloquent, but it does the job well and is easy to read. The one thing I would like more of is a little more physical description of things.
STORY: The story so far is fairly strong. We follow Lily, a once-noble who has a vendetta against her dead family as she begins to develop a name for herself in the adventuring community. There’s also a maniac on the horizon that it looks like we might come in contact with eventually…
GRAMMAR: No glaring errors, and any that have been found are fixed almost immediately.
CHARACTER: As stated before, I like the dynamic between the two leads, and they both have some nuance to them. Also, the MC’s edginess is given in-universe justification rather than being an authorial power trip, which I appreciate.
Chaos JesterRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A well structrured pantheon mixed with a casual fantasy voice and a heck of a lot of wolrd building? Next you'll be telling me that all of the characters are basically warlocks. They are? Shut up and take my money
Style wise, Heretical Oaths hits in a way that a lot of fantasy stories around here tend to miss. The narrative voice of this is casual. I'm never worried about being in over my head with lengthy descriptions or bombarded with lore dump after loredump. The overall style is from the point of view of a character with drips of lore being given to us when needed. 5/5
I did see some grammar stuff or some continuitiy errors and commented on them, but aside from that, Slifer seems to take those suggestions and applies them. Which, in the end, is all we should ask for grammar. Nothing that derailed the story at all though. 4/5
The story in and of itself takes a lot of very common themes across fantasy and finds a new way to use them. Add in that the story itself is a little more character driven, and you don't have to worry abouit it. Tropes are tropes for a reason. Slifer manages to utilize them without just applying the same old structure to it, which leaves a good taste in a reader's mouth. 4.5/5
Like I've been saying, this story is character driven. The voice lended to the characters is distinct without being jarring, as well as using archetypes without being beholden to the static uses of them. The MC and her sidekick (my bad, Jasmine) are your classic those-two-shouldn't-be-friends story, but they fit well together well while maintaining their own personalities. 5/5
Overall, Heretical Oaths is a solid fantasy story. It manages to weave together great characters, background, worldbuilding, and lore by holding on to what makes fantasy what is is, while finding ways to keep it fresh.
Consistent MilkRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I will confess that I have read of similar magic systems before, but I will also express my surprise about how strangely newish it felt to me. As an avid reader of fantasy novels, it is almost heretical calling the concepts used new, yet here we are.
Concept(4/5): I have watched anime, read novels etc etc that used the same concept of divinity and magic being intertwined. Yet the author and his work stand out through how intriguingly he puts them together through the use of deep psychological and philosophical aspects.
Experience(5/5): There is a primitive fascination that is embedded within us about the concept of a god. That is why it is a recurring topic in a plethora of literary works. Heretical oaths work on that fascination and connects it to the main characters in a way that you instantly find it captivating.
Tone(4/5): The tone seeps mystery, complimenting well the overall structure of the mechanisms of the fictional world.
World(3/5): It is not one of its strong points. Up to now the physical aspects of the world itself, and its buildup resemble those encountered in many fantasy novels.
Philosophy(4/5): It explores the concept of divinity, the lust for power, and materialistic gains in its own way.
Psychology(4/5): The characters themselves show complexity through their interactions and motivations. Not completely top-notch unique characters, but definitely not bland either.
Flow(5/5): The strangely simplistic yet nuanced and balanced writing style does well to retain attention. The way the story develops, the characters, and the magic system is introduced feels very natural to follow through.
DondokinRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Like a poor fisherman, I like to trawl through the Rising Stars every few weeks to find something fresh. This is that something. In a sea of Gamelits or LitRPGs (I'll be honest I don't know the difference) this one stood out as a catch worthy of showing off in a picture. You know, the kind where you hand it off to your little brother and the fish is bigger than him.
The Quick:
Grammar gets a 5/5. I didn't spot anything immediately wrong. The author's writing is actually sophisticated enough to break the rules on purpose so that it compliments their style. I appreciate that a lot.
Style similarly gets a 5/5. It's engaging. That's all I really need from a style. Can it keep me engaged and questioning? Then it's got me. The exposition is always delivered in a nice vehicle. There are no dump trucks of information. You are given people talking, the MC thinking, and events happening. As I read I was left asking questions in a good way, theory crafting and not head-scratching.
The Complex:
The protagonist gets a 5/5. The author says this is DND inspired and nothing screams a DND warlock/evil paladin quite like a fallen noble orphan. Sure around the table, I might be grumbling, but in a novel, this makes for some clearly defined goals that you're always primed to root for. She's also snarky and prejudiced. I just loved the inner monologue she had when meeting her party mate. *chefs kiss*
The other characters get a 5/5. I'll preface this by saying I quite like Jasmine. Everyone else so far has mostly been passable. The good news is that they are distinct people, just not always as engaging. I think this will remedy itself as I read more.
The story, divorced from the setting and more character-driven stuff, gets like a 4.7/5. I only say this as, despite the action-packed beginning, it felt much like a train. Starting slow and picking up speed. I think if I waited longer to make a review this will just continue to rise. That said the beginning felt s
Dylan KingRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Terrible childhood spiralling into a doomed quest for power via bargains with literal Gods? Okay, I'll confess, I was more than a little sold on the premise for this story, which is rare for a RR fic - particularly for stories of a gamelit/litrpg bent.
The first thing to touch on is that Heretical Oaths is an easy read. The prose is light and crisp, with a strong authorial voice and an excellent feel for doing exposition right (i.e Show vs tell, and having the right amount of both, in the right places). Gramatically, there is nothing to pick holes is, and certainly nothing that distracts from the story being told.
The actual story itself (so far) bears the hallmarks of stories you've read before, but there is plenty of flair and mystery to keep readers engaged and wondering, even if you do feel like you have an idea of the rough direction the story might be taking you in. A lot of this has to do with the two well-realised central characters. Slifer has managed the most difficult element of character building, which is getting me to actually care about his pretend people.
Overall, Slifer does an excellent job of combining an array of familiar story elements in a highly interesting way, bound together by some really solid prose. This was written as a review swap, but will be getting added to the follow list!
GrindStormerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall: 5/5 This is an enjoyable story with lots of promise. I like the cultivation premises which flow nicely into the story (no pun intended). This author has a lot of talent, and it shows. This story really takes off after the third chapter. I won’t give away any spoilers, but I thoroughly enjoyed it from that point.
Style: 5/5 I had already commented on the author’s wordplay in chapter one, but it bears repeating that the writing is very skilled and quite enjoyable. Plus, anyone who goes through the trouble of researching relevant epigraphs is someone who takes their writing seriously.
Story: 5/5 The mystery behind Jasmine is a steady arc through the story, keeping up the intrigue. The spells used by both the MCs and the mobs were creative and imaginative, not the usual stream of element-based spells. The tension is good from chapter to chapter with some well-executed cliff-hangers (but not overly used either).
Grammar: 4/5 The grammar is good, although a bit clunky at times. Still, it didn’t take away from the reader experience.
Character: 4.5/5 Jasmine and Lily are very strong characters with different and well-thought-out backgrounds. There is a large cast, and it can get confusing who is who, but each character is solid.
LadyFluffingtonsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Magical Oaths, Class Rankings, and... Magical Handguns? It makes for an intriguing mesh, but the gold-star to this story is the characters.
While Lily has the classical "Fantasy Orphan" backstory, she's written to have actual drives and needs, including a deep-seated hatred that pushes her forward. Thankfully, she doesn't veer into angsty monologues, and actually interacts well with the characters she meets throughout the story. Little bits of the world are delivered excellently through "Show, don't Tell" writing that leaves you curious as to the world at large.
While the Magical Oaths aren't strictly original, the way the story plays out gives fresh twists on the stereotypical fantasy genres. It's interesting to think of a world where devotion to a higher power grants, well, magical power. Personally, I'm hoping there's someone in the story who -isn't- oathbound, but still remains potent.
So far, Lily and her companion Jasmine have received the most fleshed out story, but care and diligence is given to the people Lily meets on her quest for vengeance.
Overall, I'd heartily recommend this story to anyone sick of overly-kind MC's, anyone looking for a proper Dark Fantasy story, or just anyone looking for a good read.
Overall,
NatarajaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
- Style & Grammar
This is well written, no grammar, syntax nor style issues. The layout is good which makes the text pleasant to read. This is further enhanced by the extreme fluidity of the writing, really a pleasure. English is not my native language, so I may have missed some things...
- Story
Magic school life & adventure in a guild to get some money. The fact that there are both makes things doubly interesting. The magic system is original, the teachers have personality, everything works well. The concept of the gods giving powers in exchange for regular rituals is very well thought out, I love it! Even if the concept is great the story relies a little too much on it, it would have been nice to have a more present plot on which the characters could have evolved over the chapters.
- Character
The two MC are well developed, we have right away information about their stories, their emotions, their objectives... not to mention some hints about their hidden intentions. Their past is often evoked to explain the way they think and act in history, which is particularly welcome. The secondary characters are well described too, and I like that there are many dead and wounded, it's a change from usual and it's realistic.