My Life After Being Killed By My Golden Retriever (An unhinged parody of the LitRPG genre)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Golden Retrievers hit like a truck, and Walter—your local full-time asshole and degenerate—found out in an accident that turned his life around a hundred eighty degrees. And then another. And another. Downstairs.

This led to both of them, owner and pet, hitting the door head-on and passing away. But that was just the beginning.

Now trapped in a game-like fantasy world controlled by an Argentinian demiurge, they will forge an alliance with the shady ruler of the land—who bedded at least one elf and defeated the Demon Lord—with the only purpose of finding a way back home. With the aid of his brow, knowledge of Argentinian culture, a nearly total lack of empathy, the ruler’s zany daughters and an overpowered and fluffy entity of chaos he simply regards as “Mariana, my stupid dog”, Walter will need to fulfill the dangerous task entrusted to him. That is, finding a way to kill the very moon and recover the item it drops.

From covering himself in undead belts to wielding Mariana as the tail-wagging sword she was always meant to be, Walter will need to use every last one of his braincells to find ways to survive deadly deserts plagued with Borgian horrors, explore an infinite library managed by lungfish, garner the favor of a bunch of dog-people that wouldn’t mind the world ending, and overcome other Argentinians that like the fantasy land a tad too much. He knows only then he will be able to go back to Earth and fulfill his deepest desire: Jacking off toKonosuba!Doujins once more.

Warning: this fiction contains situations that may not be suited for everybody. On top of that, it contains some elements that may not be everyone's cup of tea, like for example: characters speaking Spanish, violence against animals, violence by animals, jokes about delicate subjects, obscure jokes about paleontology and, last but not least, footnotes.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: Lack of Poochline

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 127
Views: 60,916

Chapters(88 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

srwoodsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I'm sorry I just had to with the title, I'll leave the rest of the dog jokes to the author he's far better at that than I am. Now on to the story, so this is an isekai litrpg with everything you’d expect from one of those, even elves but we won’t talk about the elves here, anyway it pokes fun at the genre. It’s a quick read and probably the funniest thing I’ve read on Royal Road. The protagonist is a typical unwashed weeb and exactly whom you’d expect to get pulled into another world after trunk kun squishes him. There is no truck kun in this story instead we have a wonderful and hysterical dog who is the cause of and solution to most of the problems in the story. Personally I think the dog is the best character and if a dog ever did start to talk they’d probably sound just like this.
So if you are looking for a laugh out loud story and have a few hours on your hands I’d suggest this one.
ArararaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
One of the funniest stories I've ever seen on the whole platform. Oh, it's an isekai alright, but of a totally different sort. I won't even try to describe what goes on in the story, spoiling even the slightest part of it would be a crime against humanity. The writing is good, and I had a lot of fun / laughs reading it. It's a gem~
WanderWomanRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Edit: The characters are growing on me, a lot of the grammar got sorted
First of all, this is a ridiculous story
The style is very off hand and funny. Being killed by your own dog and then reincarnated is absurd. The characters, Mariana the dog is a very good girl. Her owner Walter is very unlikable and deserves everything Mariana does to him. Watching his misfortune brings me joy. He's the kind of misogynistic pervert that needs to suffer. Have you ever been told by a man to smile more? He didn't say that, but he strikes me as the kind of guy that would.
I guess it's fair that if your dog kills you, your dog will help you help you get out? There are laugh out loud references. Clearly the author has read a lot of isekai, DnD and other nerd culture stuff. I'm learning a bit about Argentina and anime. Probably more than I want to know
My main gripe is the grammar, but it's readable and this isn't exactly high literature (unless you mean smoking, then by all means lighting a j will only improve things) The casual way the story is told, I don't exactly expect perfect MLA style
I think the person that would enjoy this would be anyone who likes dogs or reads isekai or is Argentinian
Wandering Brain SpasmRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
There is a lot to unpack here. First and foremost, this is possibly the funniest story I have read on this site so far. The quotable lines alone make it worth a read. It has a very quick, disjointed, somewhat unhinged rhythm that sets an appropriate tone as you delve deeper and deeper into the madness.
Style: The style is fast, witty, and gives you enough information without hitting you over the head with it. A few of the action scenes were jarring and happened so suddenly, I had reread to clarify what was going on. Overall, it has a unique voice and kept me engaged throughout. While there is a lot of really good humor, there were several instances where the lines were too edgy for me.
Story: This is the first storyline I’ve read where a pet gains powers and continually upstages her human owner at every turn, and I’m here for it. I haven’t quite gotten to the main storyline yet, but the groundwork has been laid and it’s definitely going somewhere.
Grammar: The grammar was excellent throughout.
Characters: In regards to characters, this is what is either going to make you love or hate this one. The dog is incredible and probably could have carried the entire story alone. The main character, Walter, on the other hand, is a rare piece of work. He is an absolutely detestable character whose only highlight in the entire series so far is that he has an awesome dog. Now, this is not a criticism of the writing. It’s actually quite the opposite. Walter is a villain and is written as such. The true magic is that even though you hate the main character, you keep reading. For anyone familiar with The Stranger by Albert Camus, Walter is eerily similar to Meursault, except Walter’s funny.
If you like humor with a lot of dark edge, this just might be your new favorite.
elizzyvioletRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The art of being funny has been long lost to mankind, but it has now been rediscovered! The occasional grammar mistake is irrelevant if im laughing my butt off. Very few writers can pull off this particular brand of unhinged comedy. The characters are definitely strong; mariana is the doggiest dog to have ever dogged, and walter is a bizarre mess of an edgy weeb.
CKJ5Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
My Life After Being Killed by My Golden Retriever is a satirical LitRPG/Isekai story that blends comedy, fantasy, and adventure, featuring a villainous lead and, most importantly, a dog.
It’s not often that I get the chance to revisit a story for a second review. Originally, I gave this book a first-chapter impression as part of a review thread in the forums. The author, seeing free reviews up for grabs, jumped on the opportunity, and I reviewed it as promised. Fast forward two years and two novellas later, the author noticed I was looking to boost engagement on my own work, and we decided to swap reviews. Let me tell you—I’m glad I got another chance to dig into this zany, self-aware story.
The story begins with protagonist Walter and his dog, Mariana (the true star of the show), getting tangled up, falling to their deaths, and waking up in another world. It’s a premise that’s perfectly on-brand for the genre, but that’s where the brilliance of this story shines. When I first reviewed it, I didn’t fully appreciate the satire because Isekai isn’t a genre I naturally gravitate toward. However, after spending years reviewing stories on Royal Road, I’ve come to understand the genre far better than I ever expected. My Life After Being Killed by My Golden Retriever playfully pokes fun at common Isekai tropes while still delivering an entertaining and well-constructed entry in the genre.
Style
The story is told in first-person, which fits well with the genre’s conventions. The prose is functional—never intrusive or flowery—striking a good balance between being engaging and letting the story speak for itself.
The pacing is zippy. Walter and Mariana are thrown into the action quickly and stay there, keeping things moving at a brisk pace. This also ties into the book’s comedic style. When I originally read just the first chapter, I felt like the humor was a bit much. Now, with the full context of the story, I see it for the satire it is. While it still tries hard to be funny
RikimaruRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A super OP golden retriever pet as truck kun AND a companion is rare.
Unlike many fics, this one got straight to the fun and does not waffle.
Very amusing.
I was browsing the new reads, and my eyes alighted upon this fiction. I was intrigued. What could it be about? Is it comedy or drama or a high fantasy Quest to save the world?
No it is not. The main character had a nice life before being isekaid and just wants to go back home to watch lewd shows.
Very reasonable goal. Hedonism is rational. Life is about fun. Others can invent and create.
But alas! His ally, his pet, does not think through his actions and there are consequences!
Oh my! Its not generic europe fantasy but latin america!
This makes things a lot different since apparently there are no rules there and it is still a friendly place.
The reasons will be found out, mayhaps in the second chapter.
This story is deeply insightful and clever and witty and subverts expectations like an intelligent dog with super powers.
Lets hope he can stay alive. I am hoping this becomes a 1000 chapter epic.
Omg how long is 200 words?
TwistedLimerenceRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is a story well worth reading. Truly some of the best prose I've read, even. The style and content are a treat. It makes me truly happy when a chapter comes because of the wild ridiculousness of this story. I laugh, I chuckle, I try to force it on friends. I'm grateful to the author for having put work as this out into the world.
BunnyhopsRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Really good stuff. It's funny and zany without being randomness for the sake of it. Walter is a terrible person therefore it's easy to laugh at all the horrible things he has to face. I can't wait to see how this universe completely screws him over. Walter feels like a real person not completely over the top evilness but still bad enough you want to see him fail. The side characters are great with personality just from what little we see of them.
Mariana is of course a gift and I relate to her brain deadness maybe a little too much. I love how she seems oblivious to how awful Walter is but still manages to punish him all the same. I would thank her as she kills me with one tail wag.
Just perhaps a few too edgy jokes for my sense of humor.
Overall a really good start with enough insanity to draw you in and keep you hooked.
5unRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Quick synopsis: Walter gets KO'd by his adorably stupid golden retriever, Mariana. They get reincarnated into a fantasy world with stats and spells, and Walter wakes up to find Mariana, who is now the dog version of One Punch Man but with a lower IQ and a penchant for spontaneous poetry, mass genocide, and treats.
The story is painted by the author's Argentinian influence and contains many references to Latin American culture that may go over the heads of a less well-versed audience.
The author's style is my favorite part about this fiction by far, as they're a master of delightfully fresh and suprising description, entertaining prose, and comedic dialogue and narration.
Overall Score (4/5): Description, dialogue, comedy, and unique ideas are the highlights of this story. The author utilizes prexisting cliche's for comedic purposes, twisting and extorting them for all of their hilarious value. The story suffers in that there doesn't seem to be much of a story at all, and is instead a slice of life that follows a pretty jaded, sometimes unrelatable MC and his overpowered pooch companion. The story breaks the fourth wall a lot, but it works the vast majority of the time. I think this story is 100% worth checking out, but may not be for everyone. To me, it's a pleasure to read.
Style Score (5/5): The author has a distinct and effective style. Their descriptions are unique and imaginative while remaining understandable. I really enjoy the prose and descriptive style. The narration from the POV of the MC is very strong, and works well in this story.
Grammar Score (4/5): The grammar is pretty good for the majority of the novel, though there are a few mistakes in every chapter that I've read. They don't detract hugely from the story, but they're prevalent and grevious enough to warrant a deduction of a star.
Story Score (3.5/5): The story/plot definitely takes a hard back seat in this fiction, which, at the end of the day isn't necessarily a negative as long as you unders