Metallic Gods

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The cruel and calculating art of warfare has advanced once more. Drones and missiles that once ruled the battlefield are being swatted away by humanoid machines standing four stories tall. Advances in technology have brought these machines and their pilots into the spotlight. Countries hope to cut costs by having a miracle of invention replace their standing armies. While organizations, both unsavory and less so, hope to use these weapons to shake up the status quo. The future is uncertain and yet historic steps are taken each day. The stars of this new show are the pilots themselves. Will these pilots end up the authors of their own fate, or used as bloody steppingstones for their leash holders? Or, against all odds, will something good come of all this madness?[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: SansValeur

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.2/ 5.0
Followers: 70
Views: 13,436

Chapters(30 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

Caymus221Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Starting out: Wulvenclave has excellent points that I agree with wholeheartedly, but the world Sans is building, I enjoy.
Sweet baby dieties is this dark. I love dark, twisted f-d up worlds. I've always loved a cost to power. How can you have this much power without a cost? Not having a cost to power is immersion breaking for me. Wulvenclave has touched on the shortcomings, so I'll focus on what I liked. I love the descent into insanity for the pilots. I love the world building, but some more explanation as to how this HUGE hunk of metal moves on thrusters like a ballerina would be awesome.
WulvenclaveRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
This one"s got some issues with the balance between show and tell. Right now it's leaning too much in the direction of tell. I haven't really given this novel enough time to really bring me into the story but I haven't been able to engage with the characters and the narration feels like a news article.
Suggestions for improvement.
> in the first chapter there should be a clear divide between the context exposition and where the story properly engages with characters.
> Feelings, emotions and actions are best expressed using descriptions from a characters bias. I'm not talking literally first person but if we're describing Jace then it needs to engage with the character that is being developed. Instead of saying "This is his first really battle" through exposition, get in his head and explain using his thoughts. Eg "This could be it. My first real battle." Jace could feel the the clamminess in his palms, the perspiration on his forehead. It is important to maintain a perspective throughout a scene and not change in the middle. If you introduce a scene with general exposition, it is best to keep that perspective (with the exception of providing context). A couple times, I noticed the perspective wouldn't settle, switching between Jace's perspective and general narration. This is not good writing since it creates a disconnect, a sort of whiplash in the reader as they begin to engage with the character and then they're suddenly reading a news article again.
I wish the author luck in developing this book but it just can't keep my attention. Fix the above issues and the story will become much more enjoyable to read.