Mara the Undying

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Mara is an ancient immortal living in the modern world just trying to do right by the humans she has fallen in love with over the millennia since she woke up in a hole in the ground with no memory of who she was or where she came from.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: drewclaar

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 219
Views: 30,398

Reviews

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Community Reviews(5)

A.N. TainterRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Mara the Undying has been a really enjoyable read so far. It reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Dresden Files. I’m really loving Mara as a character, she’s sassy and a total badass. Mara’s dialogue is quick and clever and really illustrates her character.
Damien, also known as “Tigger” has also been an interesting contrast to Mara. I’m looking forward to learning more about him in future chapters.
Both style and character are a 5 star rating, due to the strong character voice that the author uses.
The plot so far has been interesting, I’ve enjoyed the “Now” chapters more than the “Then” chapters but I appreciate the background they provided to the character. I can tell that the story is headed in an interesting direction and that the author has left seeds of mystery throughout the chapters.
Regarding grammar, the writing could use some work on commas and some other minor grammatical errors. I would also appreciate seeing the paragraphs broken up more. There are a lot of interesting tidbits that I felt were getting missed by the bulky paragraphs. With that said, the newest chapters posted had greatly improved in grammar so I’m giving grammar a 4.5 star rating.
Stark GottoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story is great, I mostly loved the chapters about Mara's past they were amazing. The start was excellent with the pacing but after the 10th chapter it felt like you were rushing it a little bit. You could've worked more on Angle's and Christi's connection with Mara so later on it would be much better. ( No spoilers).
But the story is really good and fun to read, Mara is such a bada$$.
afganitiaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Well, there are only a few chapters out, and they are on the shirt side. So take this review as an early review.
The story starts with a bit of selfpandering about how good and cool the MC is. But after a few chapters of that and a bit of back story, it starts to rev up. It goes from 1 to 100 pretty fast.
All in all it is an entertaining read. I am waiting for more.
SunpuppieRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The story is great! An interesting and fun MC with an excellent backstory. Grammar starts rough, the lack of proper punctuation marks can jar, however that issue is resolved fairly quickly. Overall, though this isn’t my preferred type of story, I enjoyed it! Mara is strong and has the experience to be…confident. Keep it up!
OnyavarRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
Writing advice: Everything in here is optional, but I think it could improve the story:
* Establish a protagonist. Don't start with an all-powerful unkillable superwoman MC who has seen it all, knows it all, can beat anything, has every luxury she wishes for herself, and doesn't need to follow any rules. Sure, she is a the coolest girl ever, but in this extreme, she doesn't appear likeable. You want a character, someone who has flaws. limits and weaknesses aside from their strengths.
* Get a plot. The MC should aim for something. Have a goal, aside from living their best life from day to day and occasionally kick evil's ass.
* Be unique. So you want to write urban fantasy with werefolk, vampires and witches living hidden in plain sight? Cool, but what else? The avatar-MC is a good first step. Humor is also good, but don't have all of it at the expense of the people that the MC runs roughshot over.
* Get a proofreader, who can find obvious mistakes, smoothe over your writing style, and de-speechify your dialogue.
Please note, I really like to use the whole gamut of stars, and rate all stories on the same absolute scale: Readable, just decent stories get 2 stars, and then I go over good and very good ones towards excellent stories.
So this story I dropped already during the ten setup chapters that attempt to narrate the MC's origin story and current status quo. I have no idea if it later gets interesting, but if the future action is as rivetting as Chapter one, I'm okay with missing out.