Magical Girl Harmonia Lux: Pilot

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

PizzaPizza

• Prologue
  May 7, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(9)

• keeganashleyliveRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  There’s no doubt in my mind about it; this one is a homerun. I, admittedly, got very sucked into the storyline and the characters, and that is the highest compliment I can give any author. The writing style is simple, but that didn’t matter at all to me. I just loved the main characters. I was rooting for them like I’d root for a close friend of mine.
  And this story has a little of everything: suspense, warm, feel-good moments, tension, all-out action, fight scenes... I found myself becoming thoroughly engrossed in it. I think one of the main reasons I really bonded with the main character from the beginning is the fact that the author expresses how ordinary she is---of course, she’s called to a huge destiny, but that is still being fleshed out, obviously, as the story runs its course. I loved how average the character felt at first. It made this transition to “hero” feel even grander and more special.
  There were no glaring grammatical errors or anything stopped my reading. I loved the urgency in the action scenes and the world (I feel a little late to the game because it appears that this world has been developed in another story and this one kind of continues in that same place---several readers seemed to know things about the monsters etc that they wouldn’t otherwise, so that was my inference). I’d be interested to see what other stories the author has available. Very well done!
• FeylingRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The negative reviews say more about themselves than this story.  The story is well told, and centres around a somewhat classic hero theme told in a magical girl universe.  Though some of it means I to the existing tropes, hard, it does so in a way that’s consistent with the world building, and is often quite delightful in the little twist added into the tropes.
  It’s one of my favourite stories, and I always look forward to the next chapter release.
• EleshisRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  OVERALL: To keep things short, its a strong start and I'd like to see how things go from here.
  STYLE: The story is told in first-person from the perspective of Sienna Russo, our main character. As a narrator, she's a little light on descriptions at times, but she's great at describing the events around her. When reading I found myself breezing through chapters without realizing how much I'd read, and that's a massive plus in my book. Some other novels really gum you up with twisty prose that you have to comb through to figure out. In short, this story is a nice, easy read.
  STORY: From the get-go we're treated to a cryptic prologue that primes us for the pain to come. The story proper begins with a simple conflict, some disaster, and then eases us into increasing stakes once the first BIG crisis happens a few chapters in. This BIG crisis shakes up the quickly established status quo and serves as a catalyst for the main character's rise into her role as a magical girl and gives her ample motivation to take down everything in her path.
  GRAMMAR: Squeaky clean with no issues to speak of. Its nice seeing that the author accepts fixes from the comments.
  CHARACTER: Our two main characters in the early part of this story are Sienna and Albert, a pair of teens looking to get into an A-Class school for magical knights. Sienna herself is a the relatable everygirl that apsires for greatness despite her humble upbringins, and Albert is her supportive friend that always has her back. The two of them have a good, belivable dynamic that instantly shows the depths of their friendship without them having to sit around saying what good friends they are.
• Thornwell NebullaRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Overall: If you are interested in a series that has similar vibes/energy as anime, you will love this.
  Style: The style is mostly good, it's concise and clear. Though, the use of words and phrases can be repetitive at times. Fortunately it isn't  common, but it can be a bit of a annoyance based on your personal taste. Other than that, and a personal thing I have against filter words(I felt my heart/I heard...). It is good at delivering the story. The sentence structure and flow is perfect too. So you never have to worry about what a specific sentence meant.
  Story: Regarding world building, very good. The set up and foreshadowing, excellent. The progression of events ... Well you guess it, great. However, if you got a short attention span and need a hook in the story asap, it may not be to your taste. Though, if you can wait for the seeds to sow and sprout, it would definitely be worth your wait.
  Grammar: didn't notice any errors
  Characters: Well, the mc and her best friend do have depths, and complexity. They have desires and goals. We learn some of their history and so on. So on a technically level, they are very much well developed so far. But, maybe it's just me, the way they talk and a lot of their interactions feel very anime-like. It's not to the point where it feels 'not human', but rather, it may seem a bit odd. The Mc is interesting though.
• DarkTsunderRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The story starts well setting the stage and ramps up very quickly. It manages to feel rushed, but because of the events occurring instead of trying to move on to the next thing. The character writing remains consistently solid and at a good quality throughout.
  However, the ending suffers from trying to cram in what feels like a bunch of over-arcing plot hooks that just don't seem relevant. With several major reveals that our PoV is missing the majority of the context for. This may be because the world-building on the non-local scale isn't as smoothed out in the same way the rest of it is.
  Overall, still a good read that now has a continuation.
• TelRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  A decent enough start to things, but it is a bit unstructured? The action kicks off in a good time frame, but when you really stop and read what the MC's are doing it comes off more than a bit random.
  The fights are good, but the leveling isn't.
  A good litrpg, the author more or less runs a spreadsheet in the background keeping all the numbers straight. I don't get that feeling here.
  the magic system is a bit random, and the spell coasts all over the place.
  There is a lot of potential, but it needs work yet. Still the overall narrative is fairly decent even if nothing is exactly synced up yet.
• HeratixRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  The overarching story and many of the smaller details are great, but it's held back by repeating sentences and information. There are also some inconsistencies, like being hit in the hip and the wound showing up on the torso.
  With some editing and polish, this could be a true gem.
• toffucaRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  The story is good, with a solid main character, a strong beginning, and incredible moments that make you want to read more. However, after the bunker incident, the story doesn’t fully make sense. Many things happen, some of which feel forced, out of place, or irrelevant to the plot or character development. There are a few moments that resonated with me, but overall, it loses its focus.
  The world is interesting, but it’s not fully utilized. You have superheroes and a network of bunkers throughout the city, but they’re often only used as a convenient plot device when the story hits a dead end.
  The secondary characters are endearing and well-crafted. They all have their hero complexes, which makes them likable.
  In general, I believe the story starts with great potential but loses its essence by trying to cram too many things into a short timeframe.
• WheelsRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  After a somewhat strange prologue, the story settled in for what felt like a solid story.  Unfortunately, after the completion of the first act, the story takes a hard right turn and starts throwing absolute tons of phrases that mean nothing while jumping our scale of adventure sky high and failing to capitalize on the very compelling world building set prior to that point.