LYNN ELLA WORLD

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2021

Author

Bark Twain

• Chapter 8
  Oct 10, 2021
• Chapter 7
  Oct 9, 2021
• Chapter 6
  Oct 8, 2021
• Chapter 5
  Oct 7, 2021
• Chapter 4
  Oct 6, 2021
• Chapter 3
  Oct 5, 2021
• Chapter 2
  Oct 5, 2021
• Chapter 1
  Oct 4, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• HelloMotoManRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Style: I diggin' how it's not full of extra words. So many stories just layer paragraph after paragraph of stuff you'll never remember anyway so it's nice how fast paced this is.
  Grammar: Pretty good. A few things here and there but the problems are not really problems. Run it through an editor once the story is complete and you'll be good to go.
  Story: It's building into something, I can feel it. I wish it would cut to the death cult faster, but if you're going for a full length novel, then you're really only about a third of the way done. I guess that makes sense to give hints along the way of the big bad boss and then hopefully lay it out hard towards the end.
  Character: Dude, he's funny. Yuri is a little stale, but that's okay. I'm warming up to her. Todd seems cool. I hope to see him a few more times. I get the feeling he'll be a distant connection. Maybe his time will kick in when the death cult comes into play more heavily.
  Overall. Pretty good so far. It's written well and I'm excited to see what happens next. That's more than I can say for a lot of stories here on Royal Road.
• Landon JordanRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  There's not much to say tbh,
  Tho be warned the below review is a bit spoilery
  The story is good, it has a sensible MC, the supporting characters? are helpful but not overly so.
  There's no unreasonable powerups or 'lucky' breaks for the MC. He has to go through a lot of shit but his optimistic approach to it has me liking the story more.
  There's some puns? He tries atleast. But they're kinda bad xD
  The setting is not unique per se but a different take on the standard VR game genre.
  Normally I'd expect the other prisoners to be the antagonists and do all sorts of cruel shit to our MC just as he starts out but prisoners are pretty rare (might have something to do with how everything is out to get them in this 'prison')
  An unholy combination of an Hog and a goblin are the main antagonists to date and they are a breath of fresh air compared to other stories which have super weak goblins or kobolds as starter mobs.
  Hoggoblins are strong enough to kill a newbie with one hit lmao.
  Well, I meant to say less but it turned out more.
  I'll edit this one later once the story gets to around 100+ chapters~ it'll be easier to condense it into a sensible review then ;) (or atleast better than this one)
• GrinNoCatRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  There isn't a ton of build up before the MC is in the game so you only need a few chapters to get into the RPG part of LitRPG.
  I like game systems where people are just people (all equally squishy) and it's the skills and equipment that make a difference between them.  It brings a greater sense of realism and danger into the story.  Massive amounts of hit points or body cultivation that make you immune to everything just promotes higher and higher stats and not intelligent/clever actions.
  For a new author, you will find that the writing is good and there are minimal edits needed (which the RR community points out to fix).
  I'm looking forward to more from this author!
• lomie0Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Solidly entertaining, does a good job of balancing between show and tell for the most part and also does a good job of using the VR as a part of the story and not bogging down things with minutae. The only real criticism I have is that the continuous ping ponging straight to significant encounters means that there is extremely limited time to expand on characters and the world while burning through plot and events at a breakneck speed.
• Gabogame3Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  It is a very humorous story that keeps you wanting to read what happens next. Even though there is some intense or action moments, the writing style, the vocabulary, and the characters will always make it funny.
  Although the story is good, I personally think that it lacks background of the character. The very first thing that happens in the story is that our main character is known to be arrested for a crime which he doesn't think is a crime and being put into a game, yet there is no scene where it shows what he actually did or how he got caught.
  The grammar might not be that wide, but there is no spelling mistakes. And the author did a very good job of word choices to make stuff funny.
  The characters are pretty cool, but they lack the description of some realistic emotions. And while they talk like they're old friends, some of the characters just met each other.
  Other than that, I'd say it's a 4.5 star. It's just missing some background that should be essential to most stories.
• DexterPlebRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Okay, forget the title. It's just me having some fun with the duck okay...
  Anyways on to the story.
  This is my first time review a story so bear with me.
  Style 4.5/5:
  It is written from a first-person perspective. It only showed what I(the reader) want to see in the story from the perspective of the character itself. So big thumbs up.
  I think (my assumption) the author use the present tense because LES spoke telepathically to Jake. Another Thumbs Up.
  Story 4/5:
  So far I found the story enjoyable, and funny at the time. (It's all LES fault).
  The story is yet to unfold and I'm excited to see where Jake is going.
  Grammar 5/5:
  I have no problem with this because I'm not a grammar master. As long as I understand what is delivered to me, I've no complaints.
  Characters 5/5:
  LES has become my favourite character. Because of that Australian ad-lip campaign about climate change. And I read it with that voice and I found it funny. Jake is the comedian that spoke too much and thinks he's funny, but other's seems to not caught his jokes. The old lady, Granda, all I can imagine is that she has this rough voice with a mix of saliva when she talked, but who knows... Maybe it's just me.
  Overall Quality 4.5/5:
  I think everything has been summed up above. Maybe, I miss something, either way, I enjoyed the story and would continue to read it.
• thanhstonksRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  this is a really great way to imagine what prison could potentially be like in the future and all the stories that could be happening inside of one
  the way you described the rules and give an insight of how the world is currently is is extremely detailed. almost like that of an political magazine
  to be honest, sometimes the amount of details that got put in it made it a little hard to read but the overall story is great nontheless
• Raz ScrivensRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Reading this story made me giddy to see the idea in words, but kick myself that I had started a similar story about a year ago and abandoned it two chapters in. The idea of a main character being imprisoned in a virtual world as part of a futuristic prison sentence is both intriguing and ripe with potential—kudos for the idea! One point of constructive criticism, though: The critique of the private prison system is there, the real-world application is there, but the first chapter seems to falter a little with the reasoning behind this VR prison system. Is this to plant a seed in the reader’s mind for details that will be revealed later—truly that the character himself just doesn’t know—or is it because the author is undecided?
  I don't want to bombard you with ideas or major changes, but in general, it might help the story to flesh out why exactly the main character is there. Is it truly just to save costs in the long run? The smart catheter/nutrient drip is really just cheaper than feeding prisoners real food/giving them lights/running water 365 days a year? Or is there more to it? I guess it all depends on the kind of story you want to tell, if you want it to be more satirical or just lay that expositional framework and make the story about something else. Both are valid, of course.
  Style Score: 4/5
  This story has solid prose, snappy dialogue, and doesn't drag on for too long in any parts. It stays moving without being stagnant. The cliffhangers are good for keeping the reader turning the page without being too clickbaity—I find a lot of authors go in one direction or the other, but this story sits at a middle ground I can respect.
  Story Score: 4/5
  It has an interesting premise and I’m invested to see where you take it from here. I’d really like to know more about Jack’s motivation—is it pure survival? Is it redemption? Is it something else—is he still about his criminal ways, that the ends justify the means? I think there’s potential here for multiple impactful st
• SoundTrampRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  One of my main complaints about sword art online was the lackluster explanation of how the individuals were trapped in VR. While similar in premise, Lynn Ella World does not make the same mistake. With the VR and real world side of the equation sorted, it is easier to engage with the litrpg side of the narrative.
  The overall quality of the story is decent for Royal road. The characters, plot, pacing, and grammar are all engaging. Bark Twain seems to have a solid grasp of the characters and plot, indicating that there won't be any infinite power creep or aimless arcs.
  As far as the style goes, for most of the narrative it is decent, but from time to time the author will refer to actions that took place "off screen". There is no mention of these actions until after they have taken place, which causes a disconnect in the narrative flow. This is a relatively easy thing to improve on, so hopefully as more chapters are put out this is an area we will see growth in the quality of writing.
  In sum, there is room for improvement, but the overall quality of Lynn Ella World is decent!
• zimbimbarooRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This is not what I would have expected from the title and description.
  It's a prison sentence being served in a virtual reality fantasy RPG where death is permanent.
  The worldbuilding is ok. Nothing wrong with it. The plot up to chapter 13 is fairly basic, survive. There doesn't seem to be any greater story at work yet, just the daily struggle to survive.
  The style is a little aggresive for my taste. The jokes are aggresive. The violence is agressive. The food is aggresive. Almost every theme and concept is presented aggresively. For some this may be very attractive. It's not my particular preference, but it might be yours.
  For grammar, there are definitely some interesting word choices that can be confusing, but they are not very common. Most of the story is fine.
  The characters are pretty good. They all seem mostly one-dimensional as of chapter 13, but it also seems like the characters are only just being introduced. I expect the characteres to feel more realistic as the story gets beyond the intrto phase.
  Overall, this is pretty good. It's worth checking out to see if the humor and overall style fits your preference.
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