Love Death Cemetery

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Lug is a young and anxious man. He doesn't have a passion, nor a goal in life; all he wants is to be left alone. His dream comes true when he finds a job as a cemetery caretaker. However, when he gains the ability to see ghosts, his once quiet life spirals into chaos.

Part 2 is out! It’s called After Death, hope you’ll enjoy it.

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2022
Author: J.A.C.K

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 23
Views: 27,968

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

TealiciousTeaRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Potential but style choices affected my enjoyment of this story.
A lot of the style choices made me scratch my head. Why use signs for dialogue markings? Why use * for onomatopoeia as well as all caps but no exclamation mark?
I put it in style rather than grammar because the presentation of the story is affected rather than its clarity. I understand what the author is signally it is just at odds with standard practice.
I usually like bold choices but these ones seem unnecessary and a burden on the reader.
There is also a lack of description and showing. A few more lines to set the scene or even phrases would do wonders.
Also, more interesting and varied verbs. This latter one is perhaps the most important to engage readers. Go too complex and you lose readers but go too bland and they aren’t interested. You walk the line good enough from what I read.
At the start of the story, events go at a steady pace. There is potential here and imagination at work. But for reasons I stated above, I am discouraged to read it.
The grammar there is more right than wrong. A few errors in the finer points of commas but who doesn’t make these mistakes without a proofreader?
The characters are interesting. Potential with more work on writing craft. Good enough but room for improvement.
I was kinder in the ratings. I don't want to pull you down too far. I rated style four for this reason. I don't want to blow your chances out of the water. Honestly, though it is a three imo. Grammer should be three and half.